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Idea To Help People Targetted By Nfh

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  • Idea To Help People Targetted By Nfh


    I had an idea but I don't know if it is viable and I would like to know

    what other people think.

    Some people who have a NFH could be visited by a flying squad made

    up of a support group that would only act when asked. The visitors would

    be made up of several people from the support group (the victim could

    decide the number of people, whether they would like a few cars parked

    out the front or just one and how many visiting people eg two or four etc).

    The visiting flying squad and the victim can make a time convenient

    to both to have a tea party (hopefully when NFH is home).

    The flying squad brings some plates

    of food, what ever is agreed on, sandwiches or sausage rolls and some

    cakes or such and a big show is put on of the flying squad happily arriving

    to have tea with the victim. There could be some soft music (it is up to

    the victim) and the whole affair will give support to the victim plus

    any bad NFH behaviour at the time will be seen by all. Tactics could include

    (if bad behaviour does occur) looking shocked and staring at NFH

    if it all happens out in the open. (Any other ideas most welcome).

    Why have I had this idea? Well, many victims don't have the support

    of other people re NFH (even their friends can get tired of hearing about

    their NFH or dont believe them or just tell them to move). Meanwhile,

    victims who often get no help from police or authorities can feel worse

    and worse. NFH can even get some neighbours believing lies about the

    victims. Victims can become prisoners in their own homes not even

    wanting to go outside. Even a little support might help.

    I had to see a lady about something. I had never met her before.

    I told her I had been stalked and she opened up and told me she

    was being watched by a neighbour down the street (it is a complicated

    story but the man down the street is a friend of a man she didnt want

    a relationship and never had one with but he wouldnt take no and was

    bugging her). This woman was in her 40's and just ordinary looking.

    I stood out the front of her flats with her and could not believe this man

    swaggering about with his mobile phone openly watching her.

    It made me angry. I stood with her and we stared back and he retreated

    inside but then came out again. I intend to visit her again (she says he has

    even followed her and her friends are sick of hearing about it and didnt

    believe it was all happening). After my visit, she got the courage up to go

    back to the police who this time took her more seriously and checked the

    rego number of the car and told her to see her lawyer who is working on an

    incident because it was related.

    I went to another house (two elderly sisters) living together, and when

    I came out with my friend, a man came over (he too swaggered) and tried

    to get me into a conversation. I think he lived over the road and wanted

    to know what I was doing at their house (buying some books out of the

    paper for my friend actually, the women were complete strangers). I was sitting

    in my car with my friend about to leave when he walked over. I also noticed

    these women did not come out when I was trying to find the front gate

    (it was a metal fence) but called me directions from their front screen door.

    I bet they are being watched and harassed too and just my visit was enough

    to stir up their NFH. My NFH jumps on every tradesman or such that comes

    to my house if I dont get out there first. I know he has quizzed repairmen

    here as well. It is sick behaviour and these people need to know victims have

    other people who believe them. So a few believing visitors are a good idea

    and may also make NFH think twice because he wont know where the happy

    supportive rent a small supportive crowd came from.

    Anyway this is just my dream. I am going to visit the lady being watched again

    when I can make contact with her (she does a lot of voluntary work).

    It only took an hour out of my day to have tea with her but I could see it

    did her a lot of good to have a believer in NFH visit her.


  • #2
    what a lovely idea! i could have done with having bodies around on many occasions, having moved miles away from family and friends.

    sadly when u have had NFH you tend to become very withdrawn, possibly even a little paranoid so we would have our work cut out.. getting past the cctv, dogs, big fences and fifty door locks to meet each other..... perhaps we should all wear a smiley on our lapel so we can recognise each other.........

    i met tristar through another board, we met up and get on like a house on fire - we have plenty to talk about (not just the NFH ), she cracks me up - wicked woman.

    So even if we all never meet face to face, there is always plenty of support on this board - and it makes a huge difference to your state of mind.

    the world is full of little hitlers and mental deviants....and most of em end up living next to me!!!!!!!!!!!!


    • #3

      Greatidea but a pity w all live so far apart....

      Any one on here from Somerst or Devon....
      "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"


      • #4
        I also think its a great onthemove says, we met up and have our little meetings now and then. She has been a great help to me as has this website

        We met when I happened to reply to something she had posted on another site, totally unrelated to NFH. We have had a few good laughs, and it's so nice to talk to someone who knows exactly what you are going through. It is an added bonus that she has such an excellent sense of humour...she really is a laugh a minute. :lol: And we find lots more than NFH to talk about once we have had our initial moans and groans :lol:

        It would be really nice for other victims of NFH to be able to get support like this. :nfh1: :ban:



        • #5
          As I said on another topic, I've met two other members so far.

          And we've yet to all meet up together, when we hope a fourth member may join us (you know who you are :lol: ).

          I think it does really help to talk to someone face to face, to sound them out on nfh problems, see at first hand what the issues are and then to get onto the nicer things in live. Like enjoying a laugh and a drink.

          When I win a few million on the lottery, I'll buy the Forum a rapid mode of transport and pay for a team to go and visit.


          • #6
            It is a brilliant idea, I would love to visit people in the same boat as me if anything the company and bouncing ideas off each other would be fantastic

            Oooo how I would love to win the Lotto, I would pay for us all to get together


            • #7
              Love the idea of a nfh rapid response team! Need a private jet! :P



              • #8

                I'm glad you like the idea and I know distance can be a problem

                but as time goes on I do believe there will be more and more problems

                people have to deal with from NFH (I think society is getting more

                and more antisocial in general). The more people who go looking for support

                the more likely there will be someone in reach of where they live who

                can help. The only thing I found hard about giving the other woman

                support was that when I got home it took me some time to feel

                unstressed because seeing her pain and what was happening to her

                made me feel worse. So a happy flying squad needs people who are fairly mentally strong to cope with seeing someone else suffering NFH troubles.

                Melanie345 :nfh1:


                • #9
                  I'm here to add a big YES to the Flying Squad. It's a wonderful idea. It's also amazing how many well wishers come out of the woodwork when you are in trouble, as in my mum's case, people from neighbouring estates and such. Shame she didnt have much support before, so yes, great idea, how to go about it? Each area could set up an HQ with X mile radius, contact phone no's etc...



                  • #10
                    Brilliant idea, Melanie!

                    Like Tamara says, it would need to be locally based & need a local co-ordinator.

                    And it would probably be a case of 'Come for tea on XXXday afternoon, because that's when NFH is usually at his/her worst.' A few of us might be available at shorter notice than others - I know I have work, kids, dogs to timetable. I'd be able to bring dogs & kids to a flying squad tea party, but probably have to leave my students behind!!!

                    A serious note: we'd be offering a service - via a self-help group - for victims/survivors of NFH. Victims & survivors are by definition vulnerable, and we'd need some sort of safeguarding procedure built in, including I would urge, checkable evidence of flying squad members' identity. NFH is open to anyone browsing the web, and there are some strange people out there, just as strange as the people next door. A code of conduct/operational policy would also prevent situations getting out of hand. Don't want to get accused of being vigilantes...

                    Nothing my NFH is currently up to would merit a FS tea party, but I'd be happy to go to tea with other members. Should I bring my German Shepherd (well, my wife's) or my motorbike?

                    "Poor Tom shall lead thee" (King Lear)


                    • #11
                      Hi Tom,

                      You are right about verifying everyone's id. Maybe the self help groups

                      can form locally and meet at a neutral place prior to getting into

                      action mode of helping others with visits. I think the idea has great

                      merit though. It is amazing how many people look the other way

                      or don't want to be involved or just don't understand the effects NFH

                      can have on victims. It is very much like domestic violence in my opinion

                      and it is from people you don't even know who happen to live next

                      door and who are most probably serial bullies or have some other

                      sick motive for targetting victims. NFH victims who don't get help can

                      feel absolutely awful as we have read on these boards. I think being

                      able to remedy the situation in some way such as with flying squads is

                      a good way to perhaps get a NFH to back off and either think twice

                      about continuing the harassment.



                      • #12
                        Hello All

                        I know that there are a couple of people who live in my area and I would be very willing to join a support group. Although they may not be so keen

                        It's the thought of having the face to face support that makes it such a good idea. People who are the victims of NFH helping others in the same predicament But as April says, some people would have to travel quite a way to get this support.

                        Maybe if the local crime prevention team got involved, that would sort out issues of the 'vigilante' outlook and they could also advise on other issues regarding the law in these situations. After all most NFH are committing a crime, be it a criminal or a civil offence.



                        • #13
                          Maybe if the local crime prevention team got involved, that would sort out issues of the 'vigilante' outlook and they could also advise on other issues regarding the law in these situations. After all most NFH are committing a crime, be it a criminal or a civil offence.


                          The support group I envisaged was not a vigilante group

                          but a support group to give moral support and some kind words

                          and just to be there for a short while.

                          As I said, when I visited a woman on another issue and she was being

                          watched and harassed and she told me how some of her friends

                          either didnt believe her or were sick of hearing about it, I knew

                          what she meant because many people dont know

                          how NFH's operate and what the effects of their harassment are

                          on their victims. It is sad for victims and there is often little help.



                          • #14
                            A code of conduct/operational policy would also prevent situations getting out of hand. Don't want to get accused of being vigilantes...
                            Hi Melanie

                            Was referring to this comment...we would simply be trying to help and wouldn't want to be accused of anything else. We all know how twisted NFH can be


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by melanie345@Jul 22 2003, 11:53 PM

                              It is amazing how many people look the other way or don't want to be involved or just don't understand the effects NFH can have on victims.
                              They probably just want a quiet life, and can't see the point in antagonising NFH if s/he's currently leaving them alone. After all, they'll still have to live in the street when we've all moved on to better places. Hands up who wants to be the next victim??! :cry:
                              "Poor Tom shall lead thee" (King Lear)