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Prisoner In Own Home

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  • Prisoner In Own Home

    Hello to everyone at NFH.

    It's difficult to know where to start except to begin by saying what a great site this is and I'm glad to have found it - even if a little late.

    I have joined on behalf of my mother who is not on the internet. The problem she has been having recently has been going on for about 3 or 4 years but started more than 6 years ago. I found your site last week after my mother had been arrested for trying to defend herself. I shall try to keep this short - here goes...

  • #2
    Crikey Tamara your poor mum.

    I'm sorry, but I don't know what advice I can give in this situation.

    I would suggest that your mum should see her local Councillor and/or MP (if she hasn't already). The Council really should be doing something - has she written to the Head of the Housing Department to raise the inaction of the local Office?

    If a complaint has gone in and the Council have failed to respond to your complaint, then your mum could consider writing to the Local Government Ombudsman.

    There are other members who have had problems with footballs, although I don't think any have had to go through what your mum has. Hopefully they will be able to offer you some more helpful advice.

    You will get plenty of support here though. Let your mum know that she is not alone in dealing with neighbours from hell.

    Welcome to the Forum


    • #3
      Tamara, hi and welcome(and to your mum too!)

      What a nightmare, both in terms of harassment and in terms of the police response.

      Before looking at criminal law..can I just clarify a couple of things? Are identified harassers in council rented property? If so, they are in breach of their tenancy obligations(one of which will relate to nuisance/harassment). Log all incidents! If housing office are not acting, involve (at least one of) the local councillors. Council's have powers to use Anti-Social Behaviour Orders, as have the constabulary.

      As for the police, check out index on left hand side of home page. Click on legislation, and have a little read about Protection from Harassment Act 1997. Does any of this look like what the police should be acting upon? My guess is yes. Maybe a letter to the Chief Constable? If you feel like you(and your poor mum!) are banging heads against a brick wall, you may want to have a look at the web-site of the Independent Police Complaints Commission...maybe you could see if they feel that justice has been done?

      Just a lot of first thoughts right now, but I'm sure you will get more!

      Good luck



      • #4
        :banghead: Thanks Hollygolightly and Saphirelily10 for your replies. I'm not sure if the NFH rents or not but I have made a note of all your suggestions and I will talk to my mum about it tomorrow(or today!). You've given me alot to work on. Thanks so much.

        Tamara :bye:


        • #5

          I don't usually respond to stories posted, as I have a belly full of my own problems right now, if you read my story!, but I just wanted to add a bit of support - not much I'm afraid.

          I cannot believe what you Mum has been put through - and to actually be taken to court is astonishing. As if she hasn't had enough!! It is so frustrating to know one is doing no wrong, and the law seemingly on NFH side. It is the case so often. Yes, I do believe they want her out - I have the same problem with a gang here. They will keep it up, I'm sad to say, and your Mum needs some help.

          I know it's difficult, as you're not living close to Mum, you must be strong for her, and PUSH VERY HARD with the police - elevate it to the Chief Constable (I have yet to heed this advice myself, has to be said). Also, her local councillor is duty-bound to respond - he is there for the community, if NFH are renting, and you can speak to him at his home, so don't be afraid to lean on him/her also.

          You Mum is a very brave woman, though I know inside, from personal experience, she is coming apart at the seams. And it's frightening. It's the gang/bully thing again - very difficult to deal with when one is alone. I so feel for your Mum, Tamara.

          Is you Mum keeping a log of events - this she must do! No matter how small, if something has happened to her or her property, she must write it all down. I think you said she has CCTV, but is this capturing all damage to her property. If not, get the camera out.

          If these NFH are renting, they should be on thin ice as far as the law is concered - so why the police aren't acting on your Mum's behalf is beyond me.

          Not much help, sorry. But you will find support and advice here, so please just keep coming back. Kind regards, Lisa


          • #6
            Thanks Lisa, and your note was lots of help. My mum has also been taking photos (studied photography at college many years ago) and has photos "in action" of the protaganists. Unfortunately the Duty Officer at the time didn't actually take the one important photo of the offender, only the photos of a previous offender who didnt actually do anything at the time but was there egging the "new face" on.

            My mum is keeping a log of events, only when the trouble started all over again 2 days after the court hearing (after a restraining order had been put on the nfh) she didn't have the energy to report it(!!) She is in the midst of defending herself and is shattered. She is also resilient and tries to be strong and I know she wont back down, but its hard.

            On the positive side, there are a couple of people in a neighbouring estate who have helped her this week and are giving her support. A shame she didn't have the help before everything hit the fan.

            Sorry to hear about your nfh, and good luck.




            • #7
              Hi Tamara and welcome

              Your mum's story hit lots of nerves with me I too live on a council estate in my own house and am plagued by yobs and their ******* footballs, their stone throwing and other vandalism!!

              Your mother has been treated abominably by the council and the police! I am sick to death of reading about victims being victimised by the police when they've tried to defend themselves!

              I can see that other members have given you some good advice which I can only echo. If possible I suggest you go to and see if your mother's MP has an email address and email him/her immediately with all the details of what has happened. Tell about how the council have not helped and ask him/her to intervene for you. Also go to your local government website and see if your local councillors have email addresses and do the same there.

              Your mother is being subjected to intense harrassment and the police should be helping her not prosecuting her!! Have you considered getting the media involved? I know some people would rather not do that but it is always an option. Also, as Sapphire has suggested, write to your Chief Constable and demand to know why action is not being taken against the perpetrators of criminal acts against your mother.

              I do hope somebody will help her. I know exactly how it is to be a prisoner in your own home and it's not a very nice position to be in. I wish there was more I could do to help, I'm feeling very angry now because I can relate to a lot of what your mother is going through

              Good luck and come back often, please send our sincerest good wishes to your mother.

              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


              • #8
                Thanks to all for your very useful info. We are making headway now.

                The NFH are actually council tennants. When she originally approached the council, they were too busy to talk to her. They arranged a date for a hearing and didnt bother to tell her until it was too late so she couldnt attend. Since then she has never been able to contact the councillor dealing with it as he is either out or engaged! She gave up on them in August of last year after they took her to court for confiscating the offending football. She gave that football back for 18 months. The police came and asked the offenders not to do it again, they said ok, then did it again. She even tried asking the parents. They said ok, the kids did it again. Eighteen months later she had enough and the police said if she didnt give it back they would arrest her. She stood her ground and said they would have to take her to court to get it back, they did, and she won.

                We will be raising an innaction against the housing dept and will also be contacting the local ombudsman. We shall certainly be onto the council re breach of tenancy obligations as soon as they open tomorrow.

                Regarding the Chief Constable, she already wrote to him and he said he could do nothing. She believes this is because she did not present her case as she would do in court - ie point by point. So we begin again.

                I have read my mother your messages and it has made so much difference to her day - thanks.

                I will keep you posted



                • #9
                  It's nice to hear that we've managed to help you with a few other avenues for you/ your mum to try.

                  Keep up the momentum and let us know what happens. Good luck.


                  • #10
                    Hi Tamara, and mum!

                    This is a new beginning on, perhaps, a long road...but don't give up, there is much more mileage here! Especially as nfh are council tenants...local authority landlords only have the same power as others, but have excellent legal departments. Just push them to use them!

                    Lots of luck.



                    • #11
                      Hi Tamara

                      I think your Mum is a very brave woman. I can't offer much in the way of advice, but has her local council got a Harassment Team? Considering what she has been through I would think that they would be able to help her in some way

                      It seems that the advice you have already been given is, as always, the best. You/your Mum is now on that same long road that I am...don't give up...they will knock you back down now and then...but get up, brush yourselves down and go for it

                      Good Luck and very best to your Mum



                      • #12

                        Just to add my words of support. Your poor mum has been singled out and unfortunately now they are like dogs with bones - will not give up. she sound s like such a fighter though, i have to admire her courage and determination to keep on top of things. so many of us are browbeaten by our whole experiences

                        i read another thread here somewhere which suggested that when footy balls land in your garden, stick a pin in them near the valve so they get a slow puncture and go nice and flat... the KFH will think the valve is dodgy and your mum can have a little smirk about it.your mum has to give them back though, but she knows that i suppose.

                        i might also turf the ball into someone elses garden and tell the KFH 'theres no ball in my garden...' and let the little blighters go and ask the other neighbours for their ball no no that is very naughty, not fair on the other neighbours....dont listen to me!!! my footballing KFH's play out the front so i never get a chance to nobble their footballs....just have to put up with it!

                        as for the abuse, i find that very hard to cope with, and I am not sure the advice to ignore them works, they dont seem to get bored of it very easily. i guess the only thing to do is keep active, live a full life to keep your mind off it. and come here often for help and support!!!

                        :nfh1: :nfh1: :nfh1:

                        I decree today that life

                        Is simply taking and not giving

                        England is mine - it owes me a living

                        But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

                        Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr

                        Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno

                        I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar

                        "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson

                        The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward

                        An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter

                        Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron

                        Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb

                        There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux

                        Carpe Diem

                        Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne


                        • #13
                          v. cross, speechless with rage at your poor ol' mum.

                          I too have had this, but nowhere near the extent your mum has suffered. The police will act if you contact your MP and state the facts. One thing the powers that be can't hack is bad publicity.

                          Look at ASBOs, PFH (I think) and write to every "body" you can think of, including the local press. If your mum can supply a photo of herself looking very desolate and at her wits end, supply it to the local rag - they're like bloodhounds and love a good scrap between the council and NFH.

                          You're more together than I would be - can hurt me as much as you dare, don't touch my old mum tho or its LOCK AND LOAD TIME

                          Hope you get some response, let us know...


                          • #14
                            Thanks everyone for your support.

                            We would really like to try the media thing although my mum is concerned (a bit paraniod actually) that the local paper may be biased against her. At the moment she thinks everyone is (except you, of course!).

                            She has her first court case tomorrow, re the "assualt" and is very preoccupied. I have started things going by doing the stuff she has not time for at the moment, i.e. preparing letter for council, MP, Chief Constable, etc. It's all so time consuming and she is so busy with the impending case that she can't concentrate on everything all at once, added to this, they are still at her house every day!

                            I have a question. If she has been given a court order not to contact the family, and they have been given one too, not to contact her. Are they not in breech when they turn up and start throwing stones again? (happend 2 days after hearing last Tuesday). And if so, is this not against the law? And if so should the police not turn up and do something? Also yesterday, when I was on the phone to her, the NFH and his son passed by the front and back of her house several times, looking in. When she phoned the police, they suggested they may have been going to the shops(!!!). There are 2 other routes to take to the shops from their house. My mother explained to the sargeant on the other end of the phone that she could not leave the house whilst they were out there or ask the kids to stop throwing stones as that would put her in contempt of court - is that true?

                            My head is bursting at the moment. Sorry to rant!

                            Tamara :angry: :nfh1:


                            • #15
                              I have a question. If she has been given a court order not to contact the family, and they have been given one too, not to contact her. Are they not in breech when they turn up and start throwing stones again?

                              I'm no lawyer, but that sounds to me like a very clear breech of the order to not have contact! I would consider the walking past front and back of her house several times to be an intimidatory act and also a breech. Once maybe, but several times??? I think your mother should inform her solicitor. These NFH obviously think they are untouchable! It's them who should be in court not your mother!!

                              Did you mother manage to catch them on cctv? Ooh, I'm so angry that your mother has to put up with these low-lifes destroying her peace of mind!!

                              Good luck to her in court, let's hope the judge or magistrate has a lot of common sense and see it was not she who was in the wrong.

                              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi