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  • Help Please

    I need help with a NFH. We bought our dream home in 2 years ago, and have had to live with NFH ever since.

    We have 2 entrances to our driveway, one is a shared entrance with the NFL and this is where the problem started. The developer, who built the 2 houses sold the land for the shared access to the NFH (who moved in first) , however our deeds clearly state that we can ingress and egress our drive and that the shared access cannot be obstructed.

    This neighbour in the past, has obstructed the shared entrance with his car, prevented access by standing in the area, putting their rubbish on the area for collection but removing ours in addition him and his wife have been most abusive to me and my wife. The Police have been called on 3 occasions by us because of harassment. The Latest was this week end when whilst I was not home he came to our house and threatened to beat up my wife and forced himself into our house.

    Please, can you advise/help, all the police say is that this a civil matter…

  • #2
    A big welcome to you Chasmcrosser,

    I am so sorry you had to join the site it means some one else (you) is experiancing problems caused by selfish NFH.

    If you and your family are being threatened then it is a police matter as far as I am concerend.

    You need to tell the local police, ask for a visit from the community Bobby, because if these NFH carry out these threats then the police have already been warned and as well as it then becoming a police matter it will make them look bad!

    And forcing himself into your home with a woman alone is just plain nasty, are the police aware of this incident?

    A law student friend of mine told me on Saturday that threatening behaviour is actually classed as assult due to the unknown actions that may follow the threat.

    I am afraid I can't remember the excact wording she used.

    Have you writen to your NFH about the drive?.....I guess you are past the stage of talking now.

    Are they aware of the deeds?

    You need to start logging everything. Make a record of threats and parking problems. you never know when you might need these records as evidence.

    But the first thing to do is go back to the police and dont take no for an ansewr, write to the cheif constable!!

    The first concern I think you have right now is your families safety, lets deal with one thing at a time.

    If you have in writing that it is a shared drive then you are ok there, and NFH is very wrong and rude.A total bully by the sounds of it.

    there are several members here who have the same drive problem as yourself and I know they will be able to offer good advice.

    Please keep safe and let us know how you get on.


    • #3
      Thanks for your warm welcome Beth

      In answer to your questions, yes the police have been informed and they have now visited the NFH and we are waiting on them for an update. I agree that we should push this higher up their chain of command.

      Your thoughts on the community police is great and I will follow this up.

      We have tried on countless occasions to talk things through in a rational manner with them, but they are not interested in mediation at all ; they are unfortunatly bullies with real bad attitude. However neither me or my wife will allow them to intimidate us and we will use the full weight of the law to sort this out.

      We are keeping a logg of all events and our neighbours are also aware and supporting us in our actions.

      What a shame people can not live in harmony and respect for one another.


      • #4
        I am really pleased you have other neigghbours behinmd you with this, it does make it a little easier to cope with,

        when you are dealing with something on youe own you can feel really isolated (hence this site creation!)

        I am glad you refused to be bullied, good on yer!

        You sound very sensible unlike your NFH!

        Its a shame that they are not prepared to be mature with this.....I mean how daft....threatening your neighbours over a drive way!

        It beggers belief!

        I hope the police visit has rattled them adequatley enough to now leave you alone.


        • #5
          Thanks Badger, I will revisit this with the Police; I find it amazing that tax payers who are lawful have to push so hard to get them to act, when we eventually do need their help.

          Beth. Thanks for your support. The neighbours are supportive but do not want to get involved..I guess this is the case in most instances..however if it were them that were the victims we would get involved but that is just people..


          • #6
            Hi chasmcrosser and welcome to the forum

            I am sorry to hear about your problem neighbours, we know what a pain and utter inconvenience they can be.

            Regarding the shared driveway:

            (1) You say you moved in to the property 2 years ago, can I take it that it is a newly built property?

            (2) Do you know why the developer permitted the sale of land, where the shared driveway is, to your nfh? It's just that I can't see how they could do this, particularly as it is shared.

            (3) Have you been in touch with the Developer to discuss this and your concerns? Although I don't know what kind of redress you would have at this stage.

            (4) You say you have tried to hold a rational conversation with your nfh regarding this driveway. I presume you mentioned the deeds etc.? What exact response did they give?

            (5) At the end of the day, I think that this may need to be resolved by instructing Solicitors. I would suggest that you try and find one by visiting the site, type in your town to search local firms - these should have a contract with the Legal Services Commission - make sure when you ring them that you ask about their involvement/outcomes on similar issues. Your initial consultation should be free; to work out what contributions you may have to pay, go to (visit the eligibility calculator down the left hand side).

            Regarding the threats from your nfh:

            (6) As others have said, this is a criminal matter. Scooby (who will no doubt reply soon) will be able to offer you some further advice about the Police warning your nfh under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - if you have two threats made against you, then this legislation will cover you. The Police may be able to serve your nfh with an Order under this Act.

            You have been doing everything you should be in terms of keeping logs of incidents.

            Wait to see what replies you get and then take some time to weigh up your next options.

            Try and keep strong (sounds like you've been doing really well at this so far!). Remember that your nfh is a bully and is probably really niggled by your behaviour, i.e. they're probably spoiling for a fight and are most likely jealous about something you have/your attitude to life. I wouldn't go down that avenue (that's not my style).

            Above all, keep yourselves safe.

            Wishing you all the best.


            • #7
              Hi chasmcrosser and welcome to the board.

              There's not much more I can add to the already good advice given by others except some members have mentioned that home insurance policies sometimes have a clause about getting legal advice for certain problems. Maybe someone else can give more details, Scooby, maybe.

              Good to hear your other neighbours are supportive that should be a big help to you. Good luck

              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


              • #8
                Hello chasmcrosser, great name!

                Badger said exactly what I was thinking. Threatening behaviour is a crime. How can a policeman not know this, when it's their job to?

                Whilst I hope things settle down, as you seem pretty reasonable, your neighbour sounds like a pushy bully that wants to be 'in your face' objectionable. We had nfh like that. Trouble was this couple, though v. contemptous towards all their neighbouring families, had police friends. They dropped the name of a Sargeant who got transferred (what passes for disciplined) after I wrote to the Police Complaints Authority. Our neighbourhood had to endure a ridiculous excuse for policing before that.

                I don't want to sidetrack this thread, but would point out that you should keep a log of all incidents, and of any contact with police, etc., who said what. I mentioned this to make you aware that some wholly undesirable characters can have suprising levels of influence in certain (what should be unlikely) circles.

                You sometimes have to be quite assertive and go over people's heads to get people to do their jobs. It could be that they don't want to inflame a situation, which can be quite valid and wise - they should tell you that, though. Court cases can make things worse.

                I hope you get this sorted without blighting your life. Sometimes it's as if miserable, wretched people are trying to convert more people to be like them. Don't let them drag you into their mire.

                All the best,



                • #9
                  Hi Chasmcrosser,

                  Sorry I have not been my usual punctual self, but, I had to go away on business for two days examing bumpers for cars of all things.

                  Thanks all for your recommendations for me to give.

                  As I have said on a different thread, in private properties the one thing that tends to come to the fore in neighbour disputes is the dreaded boundary dispute. And guess where the solicitors make their money from - this is big revenue earner for them.

                  Unfortunately with boundary disputes things tend to get very nasty and out of hand very quickly with frightening speed that can take even a cautious person off guard. The thing is, shared driveways are okay to a point and then one person becomes terriotorial over this section of land and things just get totally out of hand.

                  Most importantly, your NFH had no right whatsoever in coming onto your property threatening you and then attempting to force his way into your home. Clearly not on and the Police can do something about this.

                  The Harassment Act of 1997 clearly states that if someones behaviour is likely to cause alarm, distress or upset and that you have a clearly defined two seperate incidents then you can ask the Police to bring about the Harassment Act.

                  This is administered in the Domestic Violence Department of the Police station and it involves a Sargent along with another Police officer visiting the NFH and handing them a written warning that they are placed under the Harrassment Act of 1997. If NFH so much as looks at you in a threatening way you can pick up the telephone, call the Police and they will arrest your NFH, interview him and place him before the next court sitting. If it kicks off at a weekend then a weekend stay in the cells is usually the prerequisite - unless they are desperate for cells and then they are generally bailed.

                  If it comes before the court depending on the severity, then NFH could receive a fine through to a custodial sentence. So you see the implications are far reaching. Since our NFH - Madhatter - has had his - all is quiet and he keeps out of the way pretty much now. Looking forward of course to the Easter weekend break cause Madhatter is fixing his boat and going off sailing at the local reserviour for the weekend. So you see the fear that the Act delivers brings NFH to their senses.

                  One other point, you could ask you solicitor to have an imput with the Police - this is what our solicitor did by letter. It just jollys the thing along a bit. It gives the whole situation a bit more clout.

                  I'm pushed for time at the moment but, I shall have another think during today and I'll post some more info for you later tonight.

                  Hope this helps.


                  • #10

                    Right I have my big purple legal book here but, first I need some more information before I can give you an avenue or avenues to go down and I don't want to start chucking out information that is going to send you off the path of the course.

                    When he forced his way into your home what kind of force did he use was it for example pushing his way in or did he have any particular mode of force such as a waepon ?

                    When in your home how did your wife remove him ?

                    How long after were the police called and what was their reponse time ?

                    How have the police defined this as a civil matter ?

                    What as near as damn it when NFH was in your home did he say to your wife ?

                    Once I have this information the path ahead will be clearer and I can give you some idea as to where you should go and who to approach.

                    Whatever happens here don't be the victim and keep logs etc as Beth and the others have said.

                    The main fundamental point here is however, that this is NOT a civil matter, far, far from it.

                    Get back to me and I shall see where I can guide you. We need to get this thing sorted for your personal saftey and this to me is a big issue especially for your wife we have to get her safe and keep her safe particulary when you are away from home.


                    • #11
                      Scooby, Hollygolightly, Badger many thanks for taking the time to make very helpful suggestions, I have been away on business and then straight into the Easter break, hence the silence, so let me update you all:

                      We followed up on the Harrassment Act with the Police and they have agreed to take action and issue a warning to the NFH, if he offends again (3rd time) then they will arrest him. The community polce officer has taken the case over and he came to visit us a most productive visit, he confirmed that they are NFH and is going to issue the warning this week.

                      I checked our legal cover with the building and contents insurers and they confirmed that we have £50,000 legal cover and if he offends again we can take out a civil suite against them.

                      The Easter break was spent at home and the NFH kept to themselves mostly other than the occasional glare which I have recorded.

                      All this would not have been possible was it not for your helpful information, we cannot thankyou all enough. I will keep you updated and I hope I can help someone else out on the web site.

                      Many thanks and if you have any further suggestons please inform me.


                      • #12
                        Wow, chas, great news

                        I'm absolutely delighted that at last you have got someone to do something for you. That is brilliant!!

                        Let's hope your NFH learns the lesson and keeps out of your life.

                        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                        • #13
                          I'm so glad that the advice worked for you.

                          Once you have that Harassment notice in place it will enable you to feel a bit more easy about things.

                          Some of us have to learn the hard way and through that we hope to be able to benefit others by showing them a different way around things. When you are dealing with the Police if you are armed with the right questions and put to them the options that they have open then they are generally more likely to help you rather that fobb you off.

                          With a bit of luck you should be in a different position - one that is more advantageous for you and your wife.

                          Please, do come back and post. We all hope that through our own experiences we can help others that come to this board looking for help. Even when our own problems are partially / completely solved it is still nice to be able to help others out.


                          • #14
                            I'm really pleased chas that you have got some really useful advice that has worked for you.

                            Have the Police actually issued the warning to nfh yet? Do you think that's why they've been quiet over the Easter period?

                            I really hope that this nightmare of yours ends in the very near future.


                            • #15
                              Excellent stuff Chasm and a text book example of how to deal with an NFH problem. We offered mediation to our NFH but they turned it down too.

                              I was interested to see that you could use you legal cover on the insurance to bring a case. Hopefully things have died down with our NFH but thats a useful peice of information.

                              We have what our solicitor called a "cast iron" case against our NFH as he has put his motive and threats in writing on some occasions. Not the brightest thing to do.
                              Now, these creatures are bringers of death and misery. They will never eat, they will never sleep, and they will never stop.

                              We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the Cities and Towns. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the NFH from ever being reborn into this world.

                              So what's the plan?

                              Rescue the damsel in distress, stop the bad guys, save the world.