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Neighbour's Constant Complaints

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  • Neighbour's Constant Complaints

    My neighbour's life is not a happy one.

    Since we first had the misfortune to move in next door to each other over 5 years ago, life has become a bit of a chore.

    Unlike most of the NFH complaints I have researched, my problem exists because of my neighbours constant complaints.

    Lately everything and anything I do, seems to result in intimidating stares or verbal jousting. I won't bore you with the long list of details.

    How can I put an end to this ?

    Hand on my heart I have not instigated one argument in the entire 5 year period. All arguments have been instigated by them.

    I'm a firm believer in minding my own business, but they seem too think that everything is they're business !

    Constant curtian twitching, threats of solicitors letters, police action etc etc are begining to grind me down.

    Latest incident tonight: Mrs neighbour, threatens a solicitors letter for looking in her direction ! What ?

    There's obviously no love lost between us, and I have no desire to reconcile or get on with them as I have more rewarding things to do with my time.

    It's getting more and more difficult to ignore the constant jibes and complaining.

    Where next ?


  • #2
    welcome to you clanger!

    I am sorry you are having problems.

    my first impression of your posting is that you neighbour has been driven mad because you do keep your self to your self!!

    some people want to know everything about every one and your neighbours curtain twitching is typical behaviour of NFH.

    have you considered mediation?.....I know you say you are not bothered in reconciliation, but it must be bothering you from your post.

    I know NFH take up a lot of time and as you rightly say, there are better things to do with your time!!

    I dont believe from what you have said, they are going to have any joy with lawers because you looked at them!!

    I guess the best thing to do is totally ignore them and make the most of your life.

    I know others here will have lots to add in advice and support.


    • #3
      Hello Clanger,

      What weird neighbours. You don't say what actually started the problems. Can you actually pinpoint when they started being nasty and what might have triggered it?


      • #4
        Hi Clanger and welcome to the forum

        I have to agree with Jeannie, what weird neighbours you have Also I agree with Beth, some people just want to know everything about you and if you aren't forthcoming they reckon you must have something to hide. It would never occur to them that it was their weirdness that makes you keep a distance.

        There's an old saying 'The cat can look at the queen as long as it doesn't scratch her'. Maybe you should remind your obviously paranoid nfh of that

        If you feel comfortable telling us, what kind of things does your NFH accuse you of? Sometimes one little thing can set off a long string of NFH behaviour.

        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


        • #5

          Your NFH sounds like a right Bampot.

          How did this problem start,if you dont mind me asking.

          You say you keep yourself to yourself,and quite rightly so.

          You can choose your friends but not your enemies,but friends can turn.

          If you dont disclose information it seems to upset people for some reason.They keep digging at you for information,or ask other people who know you.

          This attitude really annoys me,your business is just that,yours.

          Anyway......Welcome to the forum and keep postin.

          There are lots of people on this site who can offer help,I am a novice by

          comparison to the others.


          • #6
            Hi clanger and welcome to the Forum

            It is awful when you are living in an environment with is full of animosity and where you can't feel at ease even in your own home.

            Like others have said before me, it would help to offer advice for the future if we knew what had started the nfh on these courses of action in the first place. Do you actually know/can you remember what the trigger point was?

            You will find lots of support from other members in the Forum, so come back often.


            • #7
              Hi All, I'll try and be as brief as possible.

              It all started about 3 weeks after we had moved in to a modern "living on top of each other" housing estate.

              The move was only about two miles from my original house so several Transit van journeys sufficed. Every delivery of household paraphanalia unloaded from the van was continuously scrutinised from their living room window.

              This to me was not a big problem but seemed fairly strange and just thought it was a curiosity thing.

              Due to the amount of junk one seems to accumulate, some outside bits and bobs (gardening stuff mostly) were stored in the gap between my property and them next door. The area is entirely on my property to which they have no access, and can't even view unless leaning extensively over a dividing garden wall.

              Anwyay, due to insecure stacking of afore mentioned junk on my part, a small fairly light object toppled over and came to rest against his wall. Instantly, NFH appeared demanding to know why I was throwing things at his wall !

              I appologised for what had happened and invited him around to inspect any damage that might have been caused. No damage was caused to their property.

              A bit shocked at his over the top response to a minor accident, I decided to keep my distance and just acknowledge them with the usual "good morning" etc and try not to get too involved. I have plenty of other friends/associates in the same area and decided to excercise my right to "choose my friends". This led to more confontration with NFH, demanding to know why I was distancing myself.

              This has been simmering for the last 5 years with other minor incidents, but we try and keep our distance from them, but every now and again, like yesterday they seem to want to start some form of confrontation.

              You try and try to ignore them, but as yesterday you get childish threats of solicitors letters for harrasment or looking at them and being accused of staring at them.

              Today, my wife and I went to the local police to seek advice as to what we could do. We spoke to a Clerk, who advised us that due to changes in the law, we would be better off speaking to the local Environmental Health. We spoke to the Environmental Health who advised us to see legal advice. So we spoke to our insurers leagl advice person, who advised us to keep a log and get back to the local police to register a complaint. I been around in a few circles today !

              There seems to be some underlying jealousy thing I think as they always seem a bit adgitated every time we have something new delivered to the house or change one of our cars.



              • #8
                Hi Clanger, and welcome!

                I think jealousy seems to be the key - rings a bell for me with my NFH, too...

                If he's doing things repeatedly, knowing that it upsets you, then he's breaking the 'Harassment' act. Other members know more than me on that one.

                I'd suggest mediation. Maybe (!!?!) he doesn't know how upsetting he's being, and a neutral forum would help clear the air and establish interpersonal boundaries. If he rejects this, it's clear to everyone (including his lawyer, if he has one, and any judge) that he's just a trouble-maker.

                People who are 'just' trouble makers are hell to live next to, but it's not worth descending to their level, if you can master it (I'm still trying!) - look up the story of the Duck & the Meercat on the NFH What's Your Story board for some encouragement...
                "Poor Tom shall lead thee" (King Lear)


                • #9
                  Sorry, your local council can direct you to a mediation service, which one depends on your circumstances. It's all very non-confrontational.
                  "Poor Tom shall lead thee" (King Lear)