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  • Mediation

    We have decided to try mediation, we don't expect them to turn up. If they do, we expect nothing but rubbish from them. What happens at mediation, and has anyone had any luck with it. Our housing manager has said, that we will have to try it at some stage. Before the ASBO team can become involved. Also we are installing cameras when we move back.

    Also I've read that they ask both parties to sign a contract, at the end of the session. What if they accuse us of saying or doing something, and we disagree. Do we still have to sign. I don't like the idea of signing not to do something, if I never did it. To me that's admitting to doing it. What happens if we still disagree at the end.


  • #2
    Hi GG

    If you have a look at Mediation Site, it should give you a bit more information about what happens.

    I know that some other members have experience of mediation, so hopefully they'll be able to give you a better picture of how it really works.

    Good on you for going for it .


    • #3
      I haven't been to mediation myself but I do know that should your NFH problems ever reach court, the fact that you agreed to go along is a huge plus in your favour.

      And the fact that your NFH may have refused is a huge minus for them.

      If you both go along that's great. You don't have to meet the NFH to start with.

      However the majority of experiences here suggest that NFHs routinely refuse mediation. Well they'd hardly be an NFH if they were taking a reasonable approach would they?
      Now, these creatures are bringers of death and misery. They will never eat, they will never sleep, and they will never stop.

      We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the Cities and Towns. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the NFH from ever being reborn into this world.

      So what's the plan?

      Rescue the damsel in distress, stop the bad guys, save the world.


      • #4
        Good for you GG

        at least you are showing you are willing to give it a try, if NFH say no, then its them that will look bad. you have shown that you will try and resolve the situation, and if they dont show then they look more and more like trouble makers.

        if they do show you can look them in the eye and tell them what they have done to you.

        I dont know about the contracts, you must be able to say you agree and sign bits and you must be able to say no I dont agree with other bits and sign to say so.

        it all depends if they agree to show

        good luck with that, and please let us know the outcome


        • #5
          Just read the topic for mediation, it's very helpful. We just don't see the session going anywhere. We know what questions we will ask them. I think it will go downhill, as anything we say will be denied by them.



          • #6
            Hi GG

            The fact that you are open to the idea of mediation shows that you are a good person.

            That will always be in your favour .



            • #7
              Give it a go, GG.....the key is to show you are trying to reach a resolution to these problems, and to try to find "reasonable" ways that this could be achieved! If they don't play ball, then they will show how UNreasonable they are. Let 'em! You have nothing to lose. Present your side of things, allow the mediator to mediate, and let them (nfh) shoot themselves in the foot.

              Good luck.



              • #8
                my experience of mediation:

                I had followed all the guidelines set by my council (we are private tenants so have to do everything ourselves to start with). Our next step, after the Environmental Health Office was mediation (EHO said as it was anti social behaviour then it was a police matter).

                It started with one mediator coming round to our house and discussing the problems we'd been having. They then visited our neighbours. Unfortunately at this point, we went on holiday and the mediator we had had only been on placement so we ended up with someone else. this delayed things quite a bit. So I had another meeting with the new person. She is very keen to get this resolved, and explained all the procedures that would take place at the meeting.

                Basically there will be a mediator for each side. You can be angry if you want, but no abusive behaviour/language/drunkeness will be tolerated by the mediators, and anyone who does this will be expelled. This is quite reassuring. You will get your say. It doesn't matter what they say - you will get your say.

                Our mediators used to offer something to sign, but no longer do so as they don't feel it helps any. However they do undertake follow up meetings (individually) to find out how things are going.

                My main concern is that it has all taken too long. It feels like things have gone off the boil a bit, and we're not really getting anywhere. So I've set them a deadline. our NFH did chicken out of the first meeting, which I was glad about, but have pursued it, and we are hopefully having another meeting next monday.

                Although our experience hasn't been totally satisfactory, I would still do it again, mostly because it keeps you in the right. If the nfh fails to turn up at our meeting again next week, that's it for him. His last chance. (kinda hoping he doesn't). Also, in some ways I don't think our mediator really gets our problem - she thinks its just noise, and it isn't. But that's our problem. So give it a go. They are very supportive, and didn't mind me blubbing when I went through our story. I'll just have to keep the hostility in check when I go to the meeting - appear supernice and reasonable - nfh hate that.

                Good luck!


                • #9
                  Hi Flossie, and nice to hear from you

                  Thank you for such an honest description of your experience of mediation....I know it's not all been plain sailing You've made good points about whether or not a satisfactory resolution is reached, it is possible to get something from the fact that you have shown you will give it a go and that you are reasonable in all this. And that you should certainly get chance to honestly put your points across.

                  Good luck with your meeting next Monday; I sincerely hope things go well for you, and that his mum reaches some sensible conclusions if not



                  • #10
                    Thankyou everyone for your kind words, and helpful advice. Thankyou Flossie for a in depth description of what it is like, at mediation. Good luck on Monday, we will all be thinking of you.



                    • #11
                      hi goosegirl, i went to mediation we wasnt asked to sign anything though, and as i thought my NFH were their usual intimidating selves, so it was a blessing really because now others have witnessed the behaviour we have had to put up with. As the mediators said "that kind of attitude is not in the spirit of the meeting". My NFH and me all verbally agreed on some basic ground rules (general manners) but my NFH predictably broke them ( so unfortunate, as they could of tryed) stiil i hope your NFH can.