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  • NFH making me ill

    I have posted on here in the past and received excellent advice, but unfortunately things are getting worse.

    My husband (a police officer) and I moved into this house over 2 yrs ago with our young son, we have since had another son.

    It is a private road on which we live, consisting of 5 detached houses. House numbers 1 &3 are fine, numbers 2&5 are making our lives hell, we obviously live at number 4.

    We had only been in the house for a couple of hours and were still moving in our things when no, 5 came round and without introducing himself handed us a list of 'rules' which we were told we had to abide by if we were to 'fit in'. These rules included not putting out more than one bin bag so the refuse wagon didnt have to come down the close and sweeping our section of road daily etc. They were IMO the most petty ridiculous 'rules' is ever read and not practical for a working family. They are retired.

    It is a very long story, but in a nutshell since we reufused or were unable to conform to their 'rules' they have made our lives living hell.

    They phoned the RSPCA to report us for being 'cruel' to our cat saying we left her alone for 4 days when we went away. This is rubbish as my sister and ex hubby came round morning and night between them to feed her and let her in and out, in fact she spent much of her time lazing in front of the fire at my sisters as she only lives round the corner. They then reported us to environmental health for not 'tying our bin bags properly' It has been one unfounded complaint after another and then they strated phoning my husbands work daily to report him for everything from looking at them bad, to having no MOT on the car (untrue, but we faced the humiliation of having to produce our documents to his bosses). Eventually i made a complaint to the police and have since made many more. Because my hubby is a police officer, he has to be investigated everytime they complain and he ended up on anti depressants.

    His work have eventually cnducted a thorough investigation which we demanded and my hubby has come out gleaming, he has never once retaliated or provoked them.

    Number 5 has 2 leylandii trees at the front of his house which are approx 80 ft high and only yards from our house, hence we have no light in our lounge, he refuses to cut anything off the even though they overhang our garden and we cannot grow anything due to the 2 inch thick cover of the needle like leaves.

    We also have a 2ft party wall and he has nailed inch high spikes on it so we cant let the kids play out the front, though we have now erected a small trellis on our side to hide them.

    We are in the process of doing our house up and when a carpet fitter arrived three days ago to measure up, he was told he couldnt bring his van down the close and turned away by number 2, said his van would damage the trees. The carpet company have written me a statement to this effect.

    I have 12 statements from friends, workmen and other neighbours at the back saying how they have been harrassed and intimidated whilst trying to approach our property, they were questioned as to what business they had down here.

    The police dont seem to be doing anything about it, they are not interested as long as my hubby is doing nothing wrong, but i cant cope any more and am also now on anti depressants and cry often. I dont want to move, we love our house and cant afford to move now.

    Number 5 follows me round with a camera and is always taking photo's of me, even once in my nightdress tying bin bags in the back garden.

    They have a file on us apparently, though god knows what of, we just keep ourselves to ourselves, though i have been told there are pictures in it of my sons bike lying on the drive outside the house when he ran in for a drink, hardly a crime!

    He at number 5 is a real bully and determined to force us out or get my hubby the sack, hubby's work have told him this wont happen of course, but i fear that one day my hubby is going to flip and smack him one, especially since he shouted 'sl*pper' over the fence to my hubby last week!

    I cannot take much more and the police are doing nothing, just telling us to ignore them and for hubby to keep his 'nose clean' and not react to them.

    I am a nurse and normally id help anyone, but to be honest i feel that if he keeled over outside id just close the door, thats how bad i feel.

    Can anyone offer any advice please, do we have a legal case against them?

    Thank you so much.

  • #2
    Hi Chynablu, this is absolutely incredible!! These people are harassing and hounding you! :badmood: Have a nosey through the following on Protection from Harassment as to whether you feel this could be applied to your situation.

    Regarding the gigantic trees, it may well be worth a look at the info/discussion forums on the following site

    Who, on earth do these people think they are? If this is a private road, do they really have all these rights? Are these detailed in the deeds?

    Your poor husband must be so fed up with being put under this microscope at work, however much he has been cleared in the investigation. No wonder he is depressed, and you at your wits end

    I am sorry I cannot be much help, and we are not experts in the law, so cannot give specific legal advice. However, I would be very inclined to find a solicitor who has expertise in harassment cases, and have a half-hour initial interview with them (these are often free or for a small fixed-fee). Do take notes of the incidents/issues with you to avoid forgetting things.

    Wishing you a lot of luck with this, and do let us know how you are going.



    • #3
      Hi Chy

      Just wanted to let you know that you will find great advice and support here.

      Your NFH's are truly evil, domineering bullies. Just who on earth do they think they are? Do they own the whole road or something - where does it say that you have to pay any attention to them in your deeds??? :angry:

      If moving's out of the question for you at the moment, I would definitely be looking to consult a solicitor for advice and look at the Protection from Harrassment Act.

      These evil cretins have NO RIGHT to film you - they are surely on a sticky wicket and the police should surely be doing something about that at least.

      I feel so sorry for you and your husband - people give the police a lot of stick, but in their private lives they get so much scrutiny - I know a good friend who's a PC and she's paranoid off duty about driving at the right speed limit, not stopping on yellow lines etc in case someone reports her, so I know what restraint you and your husband must be applying when you are provoked like this. I wouldn't want to help them either if I were you!

      Please try to keep a cool head - even the slightest retaliation will be pounced upon by your NFH's and believe me, they will go tritt-trotting to the police, causing a mountain out of a molehill - very typical trait of NFH's like yours.

      Try not to even look at them, don't speak to them and even try wearing sunglasses when you go out so that they can't even accuse you of looking at them - how can they if they can't see your eyes?

      I hope that you can be strong and get the right outcome eventually for you and your Husband.




      • #4
        Hi Chynablu,

        How sad these people are. They seem to think that they make up the rules on how you are to live in your own house and that you have to abide by this - what rot.

        It amazes me that some people have nothing better to worry about. And as for them reporting you to the police and RSPCA, well, as if these organisations aren't stretched enough with genuine problems :rant:

        I can't really add to the good advice that Sapph has given you, but I would definitely try the solicitor route so you are fully aware of your rights.

        I'm glad that your husband came through the investigation with flying colours . The very fact that you have not retailiated shows your strength of character.

        Take care

        Blue Cow


        • #5
          Hi Chynablu

          I remember your story well if only because my husband was a policeman for 25 years and I think that was the reason my family was picked on by the yobs.

          But your situation is now getting out of hand. You are quite obviously being harassed and I agree with Sapph and Mazza about the PFHA 1997. Do you think there is a reluctance on the police's behalf because they don't want to appear to be helping 'one of their own'? If so I think it stinks!!

          A visit to a solicitor might help clarify your options. Nobody should have to put up with such behaviour from so called civilized people. They are nothing but bullies. I suppose in another life they were petty dictators! Just who the heck do they think they are? Who died and made them God?

          I know we tell people not to retaliate but in your situation it's even more important because your husband could lose his livelihood if he steps an inch out of line. I'm sure these self appointed guardians of the street know this and are taking great delight in imposing their pathetic will on other people.

          Good luck, you have my every sympathy.

          "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


          • #6
            thankyou both so very much, its such a relief to talk to people who understand how bad it can be.

            The guy at number 5 is such a bully, he is the self appointed ruler of the close :P

            he cannot stomach the fact that we will not bow down to his 'authority' and feels he is losing face in front of the other neighbours, over whom he has full control. Heaven knows we may cause an uprising and there will be a challenge to his throne

            He is also incidentally a mason, and my hubby is convinced he has contacts in the police force and perhaps this is one reason why he is not being warned, though obviously this is not something we could ever prove.

            Another reason my hubby is so annoyed is that they write in anonymously and each time hubby gets hauled in front of his bosses ans interrogated, the letters are then put on his file, which i didnt think they could do if they were anonymous. It is one boss inparticular, an inspector who covers our area. However 3 people have written in to the police in defence of my hubby and to complain about harassment themslves from these neighbours. These letters although signed, were never acknowledged or mentioned to my hubby by this boss and when we asked human resources this week for a copy of them for our solicitor, they had no record of them and they were yesterday tracked down to this inspectors office having never gone any further.

            I am beginning to feel as though being married to a police officer is resulting in me being denied my rights to protection by the police and am considering writing to the chief constable to complain.

            I must be the most photographed woman since victoria beckham, surely he cant do this!

            Is he not breaking the law in preventing delivery men from coming to my house? and if so why are the police not helping us. :banghead:

            Do you think we have a case against these neighbours in court?

            Thankyou again



            • #7

              Just read your reply, thankyou. Yes i certainly do believe that the police are doing nothing as they dont want to be seen to be siding with one of their own, though it has gone far to much the other way now and as i said above i think i am now being denied my rights due to being married to a police officer.

              You are also absolutely right about the neighbours knowing he cant say or do anything to protect himself and his family and they thrive on this.

              The thing that worries me is that Im not sure how much longer my hubby is going to be able to contain himself. He lies in bed at night seething as they call him and me names and I had to stop him going out and thumping the sad B*gger next door last week, when he shouted something at our toddler, who was chasing his ball past their garden.

              Its really affecting our lives, how long can we go on ignoring them, theyre getting worse.

              Number 2&5 are constantly walking past our house carrying a green file on us and snapping photo's of me putting out bin bags, or if i happen to be standing near the party wall etc.

              Surely this is harrassment.

              Thanks again

              Chyna x


              • #8

                I have thought about you on and off and given that you had not posted in a while I thought things had settled down somewhat. I am so sorry to read however, that they have not.

                The words speechless does not even begin to convey here what I am thinking. But you desperately need to get this sorted out and quickly.

                The last time we spoke I believe you husband was in the process of logging a formal complaint about harassment, given that his bosses have closed the book they have not taken it any further I see.

                I think you need to discuss with your husband the 1997 Protection From Harassment Act, you are being stalked, photgraphed and recorded by this maniac and you clearly need help and backup from your husbands colleagues.

                Has your husband spoken with Occupational Health at all ? I think this would be a real boon for him and given the levels of stress they might be able to swing something for you.

                This is truly a dire situation and one which clearly goes to prove that regardless of what job we do whether police officer or lorry driver the help and assistance that we receive from the police force is not enough to deal with things like this.


                • #9
                  I am beginning to feel as though being married to a police officer is resulting in me being denied my rights to protection by the police and am considering writing to the chief constable to complain

                  What ever you do speak to you husband before you carry this out, it could affect and have serious repercussions on his job.

                  Its disgusting I know but I am going to email you with some further information and see what I can muster up for you. You two need to some serious practical help I am going to see what direction I can shove you off in from my end.


                  • #10
                    thankyou, you really are so kind, bless you all

                    Chyna x


                    • #11
                      Hi Chynablu

                      Re the photographing of you; I know the link is about CCTV, but think there are some points in there that relate to invading the privacy of the person that also relate to this situation


                      I think it is also worth considering a look at the Independent Police Complaints Commission's web-site for future reference


                      Do you think either of the other neighbours experiencing similar problems would be interested in joining forces with you? If you were all armed with info, you could be a formidable force




                      • #12
                        Hi Chyna

                        You mentioned in one of your posts that you have a Solicitor, have you talked to them about the Protection from Harassment Act? If so, what did they say? If you haven't discussed it with them yet, then I think you ought to.

                        I know that your situation may be a bit beyond this, but have you thought at all about mediation? Even if you contacted your local mediation service and talked to them about whether they could get involved at this stage. If you ever did take action against your NFH, the very fact that you considered and offered mediation will go in your favour.

                        Link to Mediation UK here:

                        Oooh, people who think they're the big "I am" really make me angry :rant: . He's got far too much time on his hands, that's his problem (along with many others probably).

                        Take care and let us know how you're all getting on.


                        • #13
                          Yikes, Chynablu, this is horrible!

                          Here are some suggestions. Have you thought about asking the Police Federation for advice and assistance?

                          Also, is there a reason that your neighbour is so scared about having a serving police officer as a neighbour?

                          I would WELCOME a serving police officer as a neighbour. Why doesn't he? Bit suspicious, that, isn't it?

                          Handy with a camera taking photos of a female neighbour in her nightie, is he? Who or what else does he like taking photographs of?

                          There could be more to your neighbour than meets they eye. I think he needs to be subject to a police investigation himself. After all, he has already broken the law on a number of points (your civil rights, wasting police time, harrassment, etc., etc.) It is time that he was called to account. Sooner, rather than later.


                          • #14
                            I'll be honest Neighboured my thoughts here are one of why aren't the police doing more ?

                            There is a clear pattern of crime being committed here by this individual but the very fact that the police are doing little to assist one of their fellow officers does not exactly rest too easy with me.

                            Since being a member of this forum I have become - shall I say - a bit hardened to the fact that the police appear to be doing little in the face of obvious and blatant acts of crimes being committed.

                            Why they are effectively turning a blind eye is beyond me. Is it apathy in the job, lack of resources, lack of time or just a general can't be bothered attitude that is constantly being exhibited from Police forces up and down the country ? I just don't know. But the whole system clearly needs to be overhauled and if new laws need to be rushed through to protect the victims and give the criminals a harder time then I think that the majority of the country would stand up and applaud it.

                            So I shall say what most of us are currently thinking about this posting, if the Police cannot look after and assist their own fellow officers then what chance do the rest of us have ?


                            • #15
                              Here, here, Scooby!

                              I can see how senior officers might not want to be seen as giving their own men and women preferential treatment, but this situation is way out of hand.

                              There have been mention in other posts about freemasons. Now, I don't know very much about this subject but if freemasons are a secret society then they have only themselves to blame if rumours abound. I'm sure most ordinary masons are good people with only the best motives at heart but if somebody is using his position in that organisation to get people to pervert the course of justice then something HAS to be done.

                              Of course it would be next to impossible to prove such allegations without some inside information It would seem that only another visit to a solicitor might get some action.

                              Good luck, Chyna and hubby. Don't let the little Hitlers get you down

                              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi