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Drunk Offensive Neighbour

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  • Drunk Offensive Neighbour

    I've been living in my house for 8 years and 2 doors up lives an alcoholic who is slowly drinking more and more. During the last year things have got worse. There have been a few incidences with police and ambulances, he has fallen through his glass front door and I was outside with my son who was 2 at the time. Of late he has become more and more offensive, shouting and swearing at his 'friends' (possible drug related acqaintences) and also at his 86 year old mother, who he is being paid to 'care' for!! A few weeks ago I calmly and very politely asked him if he would mind not swearing so loudly outside as my son was outside - it was 4pm. This man was shouting 'f off' to someone at top volume, followed by lots more of the 'f' word. He apologised but once I got back into my garden he started shouting and swearing about me ... that my cats go to the toilet (or words to that effect!) in his garden, that he was going to get a gun and shoot the 'f' ers. Since then he has been shouting at the girl in the house between us after her dog barked for like 30 seconds. He can also be quite crude to the neighbours too. Last night at 7pm a car pulled up outside and the 2 guys in there were shouting at this alcoholic neighbour, he was shouting back, again very offensive language.

    To put it bluntly, I am absolutely sick of hearing his voice. I am also concerned that my son is around this kind of stuff and am wondering if there is anything I can do. I have considered going to the police but am also scared of the consequences if he found out it was me. I know he takes drugs as he has tried (stupidly) to get me to take them, obviously I refused politely!

    HELP!!! :sad:

  • #2
    Hi Red and welcome to the Forum

    Oh dear, a nasty foul mouthed neighbour from hell (NFH). Can't be nice for you at all, or your son.

    As a cat lover I am horrified at his comments about your cat. :angry: I know you'll worry about your cat, but believe me, even if IF your cats were going to the loo on his garden, there's nothing he can do about it. Trust me, I have researched that one in-depth (it happened with our first NFH).

    If he spoke to you in a reasonable manner, then there are things which you could offer to do, but I don't think that he's that kind of person from what you say.

    His behaviour sounds completely anti-social and as such, I would advise you to speak to the Police - see if you have a local Community Officer in your area and ask to have an appointment with them.

    Does your NFH own or rent (if so is it local authority/ Housing Association or private)? It helps to know as you may have more options open to you.

    I think it would be a good idea for you to start writing everything done that he does. You can print off and use this form:

    You might also find it useful having a look through the Self Help Articles:

    You have come to the right place to get support and we'll help you all we can. Other members will be along shortly, so check back often to see their replies.

    Welcome again


    • #3
      Hi Red and welcome to the forum,

      Sorry to hear about your NFH, he sounds really awful

      Holly has has already given you the advice I would have given (Thanks Holl )

      So there's not much left for me to say, except I hope you get some help from somewhere.

      Good luck

      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


      • #4
        Hi Red welcome

        sorry to hear you have such "charming" neighbour.

        Its horrible living with that sort of thing going on, and I can see why you would worry for your family.

        you must record everything as Holly has said, it is important that you can show EHO this log.

        you can contact the EHo about the noise, and I think you should. noise is a problem to EHO if its at a certain volume and times of day/night wyhere as its a problem to you full stop!!

        it sounds like your NFH is just going to burn himself out, and from what you have said,it will be quite quickly.

        if you know of a crime this man has comitted you can ring crimestoppers, if you feel you are not getting any where with the police.

        please remember saftey first, if you feel at risk you must ring 999, stay away from this person where ever possible and try not to get involved.

        good luck and keep us posted


        • #5
          Thanks for your replies!

          My nice neighbour and I are both keeping our eyes out for sights of 'funny' goings on and are ready to call crimestoppers if we do see anything! The most gruesome thing that happened today was very early this morning when I was putting my son in the car to go to nursery. It was like 7.30am and all I could hear was all this coughing, gagging choking racket through NFH's bedroom window .... it's a great way to diet! Certainly puts me off my brekky! But joking aside, it is absolutely disgusting.

          It is a horrible situation as basically he's a complete nuisance in what would be a fantastic street without him. One time he brought a female drug addict back to the house with him, they were both out of it but her more than him. She fell over and hit her head on the concrete floor and he was shouting 'GET UP' to her. She couldn't, so he bent down to pick her up and fell right on top of her! What a sight! If it was a comic sketch it might be funny, but in real life, and worse still at noon it is pretty hideous to be living near.

          I've been told that someone living over the road has mentioned to this guys mothers doctor about the situation and I think they have visited. But, the problem is that unless they go round when this man is drunk he is probably really nice to them!

          Over the years he has got so much worse. When I first moved in he wouldn't leave me alone, he kept asking me out and harassing me. (he is my fathers age.) It got to the point when he would come round the back of my house, peer over the gate and I would say 'What do you want now?'!! Eventually he got bored of it and then of course once I got married he backed right off. I am separated now so he seemed to think it ok to start talking to me again, but I avoid him as much as is possible. It's pretty easy to avoid him now, but it's not easy to not hear him!

          In a bizarre way I feel sorry for him just because he is leading such a sad existence and I think half the time he is just oblivious to his rudeness. But I don't feel sorry enough to not report him if I see anything!

          Last Christmas Eve he appeared on my doorstep, and prior to this we'd had no problems with him. It was one of those situations where I hadn't seen or heard of him for ages and he had this huge box for my son. It all happened so quick but he was in my house and I couldn't get rid of him, I suffered a panic attack because I didn't know what to do. He asked me to get him a drink which I didn't, just explained it was for the next day for my family. He then offered me 'whizz', insisting it would make me feel great! I explained to him that I am an alcohol and drug counsellor so was not likely to take drugs!! Eventually after about 45 mins of pure torture for me I just jokingly said 'go on then, B*gger off I've loads to do' and was literally shoving him out of the door! He was fairly drunk at the time and I was really scared. It's really been since Christmas that things have really gone downhill. Before that he was always there being a pain, but not as much as the last few months.

          I think the neighbourhood are reluctant to do anything just because this mans elderly mother (she's 86) has lived here since the houses were built in the 30's, has been well liked and she's very frail now. I think everyone is worried about causing her trouble, but as far as I'm concerned he is causing her a lot more trouble! I am seriously surprised that she has survived this long living with him. The other worry is, once she isn't around anymore things will get worse as it'll be easier for him to have all his dodgy 'mates' around. But I imagine by then I'll have a huge list of happenings and the police will be forwarned about his behaviour!!

          Anyway, I've gone on enough! Thanks for listening, it helps me to get that off my chest!!




          • #6
            Hi Red and welcome to the board

            I am so sorry you have such a terrible neighbour, drink & drugs are the root of all evil in my book, you just can't reason with someone who is in such a state

            I can only echo what has already been said, but you are not alone and you will get good advice here :nfh1: :nfh1: :nfh1:

            :ban: :ban: :ban: :ban:


            • #7
              Anyway, I've gone on enough! Thanks for listening, it helps me to get that off my chest!!

              Red, go on as much as you like That's what the forum is for. I know for myself it's been a great help being able to talk about things in here.

              The other worry is, once she isn't around anymore things will get worse as it'll be easier for him to have all his dodgy 'mates' around.

              It might also be easier to get him out. I know that sounds cruel but if he thinks he might be evicted he might straighten himself out. Stranger things have happened

              Anyway, good luck, and come back as often as you like and go on as much as you like If you need a rant we've got the ranters folder. I love a good rant

              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


              • #8
                Hi red, and welcome to nfh in Britain! (the place where it is FINE to get things out of your system ),

                You've already had some great advice to start some balls rolling.....and SOMETHING does have to be done here! I sense a bit of concern about his mum, and that's really understandable...but what must it be like for her living with this 24/7? I can't imagine, and maybe she feels she has no other choices.

                But he cannot continue to disturb you(in more ways than one!) like this.

                Good luck with this, and keep us posted if you can


                p.s. grrr...not keen on those who frighten/threaten kids/ fact anything/one more defenceless than themselves! :badmood:


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Red@Aug 14 2003, 8:34 PM

                  I explained to him that I am an alcohol and drug counsellor so was not likely to take drugs!!
                  Hi Red,

                  Isn't it amazing that the things we can take in our stride at work completely wrong-foot us in our 'real' worlds!

                  Have you talked about this issue in supervision? I'd think it was professionally relevant...

                  (Do you think other members need to know what 'supervision' is when it ISN'T someone watching you work? I'll let them guess for now...)
                  "Poor Tom shall lead thee" (King Lear)


                  • #10
                    I have support and supervision every three weeks

                    Quite possible to discuss personal issues as they may affect my work well as making sure my work life doesn't impinge too much on my personal life

                    The joys!



                    • #11
                      hi red!

                      can u believe i am in the same boat? pi*ey bloke and drug addict girlfriend, butt ugly martian offspring and various other undesirables living directly below me.

                      yesterday senior was hanging from his door frame, making monkey noises and shouting at some bird passing , out of his mind on drink and whizz - he is in his fifties??? his son is also seriously off key and there was a big fight on friday night involving them, five blokes and two birds all pi**ed out of their heads?

                      my point in telling u this (apart from getting it off my chest!) is that it only gets worse and not better - u need to nip it in the bud.

                      does this blokes mum own the house, in which case he will inherit it?? perhaps he can be 'persuaded' to sell up and move on (it may be the case anyway as he might want access to the funds??)

                      or is it social housing (in which case the local authority/housing assocation have a duty to intervene)

                      in either case i would invest in some cctv and record all the incidences - call the police whenever there is any sign of trouble and keep a diary. this guy needs to have an anti social behaviour order slapped on him quickly.