CHAPTER 3

Have at least one pet

Ensure you have at least one pet and in time train it to be annoying in some way; teach dogs to bark on command at all times and teach cats to gain access to other peoples homes.

Between 6 months and a year you are now bored with your beloved pets and are justified to let them run loose around the streets.

At the same time as the above teach your pets to defecate on your neighbours property, this is very effective if you feed you pet a curry first, with training it will be able to off load on your neighbours path right outside the front door…(yes first hand experience).

Ensure you have a bad form of transport, noisier the better (see above).

Don’t on any account pay your road tax, this will give everyone else something to complain about and you don’t want to spoil their fun.

Park your vehicle in the most inconsiderate place to block the most people possible and then leave it there for 6 months.

The black thing outside your back door is called a bin. Fill it to the top with bottles (never ever recycle!) and then leave it, do not take it to the road side it is too much effort. When the smell gets too much start putting rubbish in your neighbours bin which smells of roses!

Alternatively throw rubbish over fence (see above).

Rubbish on your own garden is a good way to keep the weeds down.

Submitted by: Beth