CHAPTER 23

Buy a brand new Denon

Buy a brand new Denon with a powerful back bass reflex system and position against the wall to get a nice reverberation effect.

If you have a dog keep it in the yard and train it to bark while you’re out.

If it’s the weekend and you’ve had a long week, what you need to wind down is a good old raucous party. Invite everyone from the pub and all your mates, your relatives and mates relatives, but not your neighbours. And then have a darn cootin’ good time til 5am.

Set up a dance floor in the back yard, with a rave hour starting at 1am.

If you get back late and you haven’t had time to do the lawn and it’s a sunday night, just because you haven’t had the time in the morning doesn’t mean you can’t do it now. After all it’s your property.

If you don’t feel you have enough privacy in your yard, plant some fast growing conifers as tall as a skyscraper. It might block out a teensy bit of light, but even the FBI won’t be able to find your yard.

Submitted by: Bad Influence Club