CHAPTER 2

Empty your rubbish

Empty full bin liners of rubbish over the fence into your neighbours garden

Stare at your neighbours all the time – make sure you do this in total silence until they are 10 feet away then laugh loudly

Park your car as close as you can to your neighbour’s living room and rev the engine continuously for as long as your brain cell can keep it up

Make sure your exhaust pipe is a battered old Coke tin with holes in it for maximum effect (see above)

Dig holes in your neighbours front garden – for maximum annoyance, do it while they are in the living room

Play football in your neighbours drive/garden and laugh when asked to leave

Flick lighted cigarette butts over the fence at your neighbours kids/washing – make sure you do it all the more if they are out trying to have a peaceful summer’s afternoon barbecue

Spit on their windows – again, make sure they are looking out of the window as you do this

Every time your neighbours go into their garden/out of the house, stare out of your window at them – for added effect get the whole family to do it at the same time and keep on doing it until they have gone – this could take many hours, but let’s face it you are so sad that you probably haven’t got anything constructive to do – ever!

Have a daft nickname imposed upon you by your neighbours such as “The Prince of Dorkness” or “The Dingles”

Do all of this and more because you are thick/stupid/moronic/ignorant/a single-celled organism who wouldn’t know a social skill if it bit you on the backside (don’t delete as appropriate because these are ALL appropriate to you)

Submitted by: Badger