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  • Between a rock and a hard place

    Hi to you all,



    I'm feeling quite down at the moment due to the absolute frustration of my situation. A few things have happened regarding the helicopter problem, which I'll put down sometime next week. I'm under no illusion that the trainees are playing games and are telling blatant lies when asked what they're doing.



    I found the RAF police officer's mobile phone number and rang him. To say he was wonderful is an understatement. He is now on other duties before going into civvy street, so my one ally in all of this has gone, which has left me devastated. He wrote a full report to the RAF base and there's no doubt the problem has decreased dramatically but... oh it's complicated and it hurts even to type it in so I'll save it for next week when I'll take a deep breath and fill in the gaps.

    I'll forward Mathew and E Beth a copy of the e mail I sent to the MOD which outlines what's been happening as I wanted it on record (at the MOD) in case anything happens or we do decide to sue, which is very unlikely for reasons I'll go into next time.



    My problem at this moment (with the current war situation) is now very difficult.



    I have a strong sense of fair play and it's the feeling of utter helplessness in the face of being bullied that is almost destroying me. The agoraphobia has come back. Is it any wonder. Yesterday when I took the dogs out in the garden, a RAF helicopter was criss crossing the property for over an hour. The only difference is - they're now too high to get a number but can plainly be seen (and heard...)

    I have work to do and a deadline to meet, the weekend to prepare for, I have other things to occupy my mind, tons of things, but this whole affair is dragging me down, what they're doing isn't right.



    I want to answer other mails and give support where I can but at the moment I'm really down. I feel like a taker not a giver on these boards and I don't like that feeling. Everyone is offering advice to each other and I can't because I have a feeling of hopelessness.



    I'm definitely being kicked and I know a lot of you share this feeling, which is why I can write it down here. There are people here who know exactly how I feel.



    I so much want my life back and to feel free of this burden

    that just won't go away.



    People I know expect me to be the joker and always there with a quip or a wry comment, but no one knows what I'm going through. I've told them bits and pieces but they already know about the shooting parties. I feel a b****y fool, it's as if I'm some sort of idiot walking into these houses with problems/problem neighbours. I feel like a victim and I don't like that feeling either.



    I don't tell my partner how much it affects me as he has a stressful job and recently had a health scare (he's fine). But more stress would exacerbate the problem. Also in our time together I'd rather be discussing 'our' things, good things. Talking about it drags us both down.



    The last thing in the world he would want is a court case as we're very private people, we wouldn't want that extra stress and the risk of losing - I've now found how the MOD and a certain RAF base work - and it's not good.



    ....................



    I keep checking the boards to see how you're all doing and to keep up with everyone's story. I wish you all well with your own particular problems.

    I'll come back and tell you what happened next week sometime.



    Spinksay

  • #2
    Hi Spinky,



    I'm sorry to hear it's so much at the moment, I'm sure other's will echo my sentiment when I say, come and take as much from the board's as you can get, you don't always have to give back - especially when you're having a rotten time with it all.



    No doubt to some of these people who are causing you so much aggrevation and stress it's all one big game, I'm sure they find it hilarious - you're right, they are bullies. The perpetrators wouldn't have the courage I expect to look you in the eye, especially as it does appear to be deliberate. You'd think there was more than enough space for them elsewhere eh!



    Push yourself outside Spinky when you can and try to push them out of your mind too, you need to for your own health and your own well-being. I know it's hard to do when your in the middle of it but don't let them dictate what you do and when you do it ok?



    Pity about the RAF Police guy, sounded like you had a real ally there, what's his replacement like, do you know?



    Post when you like and what you like, there is never pressure here to post or help, only if you want to

    Comment


    • #3


      Spinkysay,



      I'm sorry that you are feeling not so good right now.



      You are not a taker. We all have to take sometimes, it wouldn't natural if we didn't. You have given plenty to this board in the past and when things get a bit down for you well it's rally round time for us folks to shore you up a bit. When you are back on form I could well be down in the mouth again and you will be there with your little piece of advice of one line fun.



      Bottling this whole situation up inside is not doing you any good at all. It is having a profound effect on you and it is making you ill. Mental torture is just so difficult as it is always there when you wake until when you go to bed.



      You know Spinks the trouble with jokers is that they often feel the pain the hardest because we know the real joys of being on a high when things are good and when it really comes to the crunch boy do we feel it. Which is why you are feeling it so hard right now.



      You say that you don't want to discuss this with your partner but my guess is that he already knows the pain inside you and he is just waiting for you to broach the subject. You could talk about it but put a time on it and after say half an hour or so clear the subject and start again with a different one. There is a good chance he doesn't want to say anything because he does not want to bring it up and cause you further hurt.



      So I shall leave off with these sayings, I hope you get a little comfort from them.



      Who hangs on, wins. (German Proverb)



      Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. (Oliver Goldsmith)



      Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them - every day begining the task anew. (St Francis De Sales)

      Comment


      • #4
        Spinky, I can only concur with everybody else who has posted. As badger says, the forum is all about giving and taking. I can feel the pain of your agoraphobia, as can a few people here. It seems it's all part of the NFH syndrome as so many of us suffer from it.



        At least you know that people here really do understand what you're going through and you can talk to us and know we know. I can understand why you don't really want to discuss it with your partner but as Scooby says, he probably already knows and doesn't want to say anything in case it causes you further pain.



        It's not surprising that there are bullies in the RAF as they are drawn from a society where bullying seems to be a way of life for far too many people. The law says we can't deal with bullies on our own but it also fails to protect us. Of course when it comes to foreign dictators it's a totally different story!



        I'll be thinking of you Spinks, it might not help, but at least you know people here will have you in their thoughts also.



        The only saying I can think of is 'It's always darkest before the dawn'; wishing your dawn will come quickly.



        Misty
        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

        Comment


        • #5
          I can only Echo what the others have said, This community is always here to listen and give advice and we all have been through our low days, i know i have and after posting on here i am always lifted by all the great comments that come in from everyone.

          As for you saying you feel like a taker the only Takers are those that are taking away from us" Our daily lives"

          Don't let them grind you down.

          Best wishes.

          Tracy.

          Comment


          • #6
            this is a sharing board Spinky, doesnt matter if you post 5 times aday or once amonth,

            you need that Spinky time at the moment and you must take it.



            we will always be here when you need us and of course when you have time for other posting that great too.



            never forget that every single person has a non nfh life, whether it is family or work or both. sometimes the board needs a back seat!



            I hope you get everything done before your deadlines and that your choppers go silent !

            Comment


            • #7
              Your comments mean so much, coming from people who have been there and are going through it still.

              This may sound incredible but I still can't bring myself to give you an update, as going over it just brings it all back - and of course it's still happening.

              I'm going through avoidance tactics at the moment, trying to get on with life and think about other things.



              It's the injustice of it though that grinds me down - Grrrrrr!!



              So a big thank you to you guys for keeping me sane.



              I think you'll be shocked when I tell you the story of how it started. Blimey that sounds like a taster for a cheesy detective novel!!!!



              I'm glad you don't all think I'm a selfish little no mark.



              ........I'm not! Honest!!!!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Glad to see you back Spinks!



                waiting for the next installment of he******rs from hell!



                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi Spinky,



                  just like the others said, if you ever need an ear we're only an email away!!



                  keep in touch!!



                  HF's

                  "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"



                  apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan



                  Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by spinkysay@Mar 26 2003, 6:24 PM

                    Your comments mean so much, coming from people who have been there and are going through it still.*

                    This may sound incredible but I still can't bring myself to give you an update, as going over it just brings it all back - and of course it's still happening.

                    I'm going through avoidance tactics at the moment, trying to get on with life and think about other things.



                    It's the injustice of it though that grinds me down - Grrrrrr!!



                    So a big thank you to you guys for keeping me sane.



                    I think you'll be shocked when I tell you the story of how it started. Blimey that sounds like a taster for a cheesy detective novel!!!!



                    I'm glad you don't all think I'm a selfish little no mark.



                    ........I'm not! Honest!!!!!!
                    I'm glad you don't all think I'm a selfish little no mark.



                    ........I'm not! Honest!!!!!![/b]


                    Course not! Hope things are getting a bit better - however small the gain, it's something to build on,. part of a foundation for bigger things.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      hi spinky

                      im very sorry to see that things are not well for you, all i can do is send you all my best and i really hope things get better for you very soon



                      sallyanne

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Sent you a private message - hang in there!



                        tannasg

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