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  • Need advice

    Sorry bit new to this site and maybe should have posted as a new topic ..sorry





    First of all may I say many thanks to all who have replied to the form? Will start by giving you all some sort of low-down to the present situation. My family have lived at the present address now for the past 9 years with absolutely no problem no hassle in the slightest …as far as we were concerned could not have picked a better place to live and bring up the family...We live in the Stirling area or close to .



    At the time could not have wished for a better bunch of people to stay close to friendly/chatty what more could we ask for?

    Well times change and one of our closest decided to move on and move up the housing market “” bigger house “” which in turn meant we had the eventual moving in of the NFH. Both homes are bought not local authority.



    Anyway things started of shall we say fine with the normal Hi/Hello Situation but never really much more that that.

    Took the opportunity last summer during a fine day to try and start up a conversation with him in the back garden “”” I love my garden/greenhouse as we all do during the summer months, conversation was shall we say brief!!! No malice! Just really not a lot of words from the NFH. During the brief talk I asked him where they had lived before and turns out a few miles from where they are now living ….Also asked the question as most people do Why did they move Reason was DID NOT GET ON WITH THE NEIGHBOURS WHERE THEY LIVED …I wonder why ???



    Where we live parking has always been a major problem but most or all of us put up with the situation, We have in the past asked the local authority to designate one parking space per household, as normal like asking for Gold from them, In the parking area there is one designated disabled space asked and granted for by a local resident. Over the coming months the Female member of the NFH was moaning regarding parking.



    Time to bring the local Gossip monger as I call him shall call him John .John is the local know it all full time Gossip monger for the area ! Harmless well I thought he was!



    Seems the female NFH had told him she was applying for her own disabled space and that she would not have any more problems with parking her car and woe betide anyone caught using it “ as she put it”

    Now the NFH have a family of 2 same sexes and youngest has speech difficulties nothing more as far as we know. The child can run/skip/jump you name it and we can think of no reason other than speech difficulties for having a disabled badge.



    We were approached from a local neighbour “good friend “on the subject of the disabled space and she was of the same opinion as us that there was no need for 2 spaces to be allocated as parking was extremely difficult .Over the next few weeks locals have checked the local paper for planning consent and a total of 9 people objected to this 2nd space being granted myself included.



    Next John the gossip monger stops me in the street and says his words “ what about all those writing trying to get the second disabled space stopped “ I informed him I was one and gave my reasons for the objections .



    Now it appears our John has been spreading rumours that it was us who started this campaign about the 2nd space and since that day onwards our beloved NFH have started a campaign of crude language and snide remarks aimed not at me yet. But at my wife and youngest child. At present this only happens when I’m not there. On the last occasion this happened I shall we say knocked her door for a chat and asked if she had a problem with me or my family.

    As normal would have been better talking to the door and calmly walked away with deep thoughts inside my head ….Now know just exactly where I stood with them. Informed my wife of what had happened and told her just to ignore and not have a stand up slaging match with her as she will only try to antagonise her even more.



    Decide to call the local police for information on how we stood as it turns out they will only become involved when actual physical violence is threatened.



    So for the present we have a NFH who at any given chance will throw verbal abuse towards my wife and son …

    What do we do about it!

  • #2
    As normal would have been better talking to the door and calmly walked away with deep thoughts inside my head ….Now know just exactly where I stood with them. Informed my wife of what had happened and told her just to ignore and not have a stand up slaging match with her as she will only try to antagonise her even more



    So for the present we have a NFH who at any given chance will throw verbal abuse towards my wife and son …

    What do we do about it!




    First of all, sorry to hear about your difficulties. This sounds ominously like the start of my Stupid Neighbours saga. A trivial matter gets blown out of all proportion. It sounds as though your NFH, in common with everyone elses, finds its difficult or impossible to discuss their concerns rationally and take everything personally.



    First of all, your wife is right, and I would have this as a golden rule in delaing with NFHs who ae clearly harassing you wanting a reaction, YOU IGNORE THEM. You clearly cannot reason with them therefore you do not try.



    If it follows the pattern of my NFH, they may well try and antagonize you further. I hope it doesn't get any worse and that they realize that their tactics won't work. However IN CASE it gets nasty, I would offer the suggestion of arbitration. Your NFH will probably refuse, but the fact that you offered this in the first place will strengthen any case you may have later on enormously. If they accept (unlikely IMO), remember that you don't have to meet the NFH face to face.



    So for the time being...



    1. IGNORE the provocation (I can't emphasise this enough)

    2. Continually take records of the harassment using the logs provided on this website

    3. Offer arbitration. Your council will advise on this.

    4. Come back here for support.
    Now, these creatures are bringers of death and misery. They will never eat, they will never sleep, and they will never stop.



    We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the Cities and Towns. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the NFH from ever being reborn into this world.




    So what's the plan?



    Rescue the damsel in distress, stop the bad guys, save the world.

    Comment


    • #3
      I can only echo the advice given by rockbank and Badger about not reacting. I know it's difficult and it can really chew you up inside but if you don't give them anything to re-react to then they might just replace the abuse with silence. Obviously no guarantees.



      Also, I agree with Badger about trying to find out what they were like in their previous neighbourhood. It does sound suspiciously like they are serial NFH.



      Playing devil's advocate here, but there are all kinds of disabilities that might not be at first glance noticeable. Although you say the child can skip, run etc, it's possible that it might be difficult for them to take him/her on public transport and so need a car. Just a thought.



      And it seems like 'John' is a bit of a stirrer, I'd be careful what you say to him, sounds like he twists stories to suit himself and probably sits back and cackles with glee when he sees the problems he's caused.



      Having said all that, I think your NFH is being unreasonable, no downright nasty, with the verbal abuse to your wife and child, there's absolutely no excuse for that kind of behaviour.



      Here's hoping things improve. Good luck



      Misty
      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

      Comment


      • #4
        NFH is using bullying tactics by being verbally abusive towards your wife and son. This just proves their bullying nature and stupidity. Your nfh obviously believes that they can spark off a fight by attacking the "weaker" members of your family (I would never say women are weaker!), to prompt you to fight back.



        They are pathetic, don't rise to their bait. Ignore them. I know it's difficult, but that will really confuse them and they won't have a clue how to deal with it.



        I suffered parking problems and know what a pain it can be. Is each property supposed to have its own parking space?

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi Scotscouple,



          Well, apart from what Rockbank and Badger have stated then all I can do is echo their comments.



          It is a classic NFH situation in which they will pick on your wife and children but not you, because as a man - a man to man confrontation is just too much for his wee brain to handle and as it appears your family is effectivly sitting ducks for his obnoxious behaviour.





          You did not say however, if the planning application was eventually approved or turned down.



          You know you mentioned about their previous home, did they say where abouts it was exactly, I know this may be a bit risky but you could go and speak to the former neighbours and ask what went on and what actually made them move.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Scotscouple,



            Just want to re-emphasise what the others have said no reason really to repeat what has been said.



            Just a pity that you couldnt use this gossip to your advantage or to make him look a fool!.

            Trust me - you will get your chance!!



            You say you are near Stirling! if your feeling brave you can PM us with a more exact location? -were maybe closer than you think!



            HF's

            "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"



            apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan



            Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Thought I would try and give you all some sort of update since the last post. The super NFH has now just managed to totally antagonize one of the fellow neighbours in the area with what could only be described as foul language. Let’s just say she may rue the day on that one! This lady is not of quite nature like my wife ….



              Have my self have been closely monitoring my own situation and as stated before nothing happens when I’m in the vicinity. Have been off on holiday this past week from work and have taken every single opportunity to make sure I’m highly visible when any activity takes place i.e. front or back garden …again no direct verbal when I’m around.



              Did find what I call a strange situation arose the other day when myself /wife and child returned from a day out in the park.

              The NFH was doing some sort of what can be described as attempt to tidy up the front garden …with new puppy in full tow! Well as all pups do they see something and make a dash for it... well the wrought iron fence between us stopped the pup and she immediately grabbed the pup by the scruff of the neck and could only describe as throwing the pup about 5/6 feet across the garden ..With the normal “French “involved ...

              Now I tend to be what would be described as a watcher “” watch peoples reactions to situations “and from my view she seems to get lets say highly strung when I tend to be about …QUESTION is this a good thing !!!

              Also need a bit of advice on fence painting …..Both are mine and intend to paint my side of the fence …what rights do I have to get the other side done



              And Horsefan will only say “BAIRNS “you should know the local team??????????

              Comment


              • #8
                hi again,



                If they are winding up others that in a way is good for you, I know it worked for Rockbank!...your NFH will soon have no one for support.



                I would not hesitate in ringing the SSPCA about the puppy abuse, I had to wait a while before i replied to your post as abuse makes me so mad!!!



                if it was out the front of the house it could of been any one reporting her.



                this would also make her more paranoid!

                Comment


                • #9
                  have taken every single opportunity to make sure I’m highly visible when any activity takes place i.e. front or back garden …again no direct verbal when I’m around.



                  Excellent Scotscouple. You're showing that their attempts to intimidate you aren't working and also that you won't stoop to their level.



                  from my view she seems to get lets say highly strung when I tend to be about …QUESTION is this a good thing !!!



                  IMO yes. It is typical of NFHs to try and keep you intimidated and what they would like nothing more is for you to react in a way that lets them know their tactics are working. Your reaction is not at all what they are expecting and being typical NFH they are having difficulties in coming to terms with your attitude. They've realized the harassment won't get them the reaction they're after. And now they're clearly flustered. A million thoughts will be going through their mind. "Why won't Scotscouple react? What have they got on us? Are they taking records? Why are they so calm?" And on and on...



                  Also need a bit of advice on fence painting …..Both are mine and intend to paint my side of the fence …what rights do I have to get the other side done



                  If the fence is your to maintain, you have the legal right to enter next doors property to carry out mantenance. If the NFH refuses you can get a court order to allow you access. Not expensive AFAIK.



                  You're playing this one perfectly. Keep it up.
                  Now, these creatures are bringers of death and misery. They will never eat, they will never sleep, and they will never stop.



                  We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the Cities and Towns. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the NFH from ever being reborn into this world.




                  So what's the plan?



                  Rescue the damsel in distress, stop the bad guys, save the world.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Beth

                    You can be rest assured any repeat performance of physical cruelty towards the puppy will then involve a telephone call to SSPCA .

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Ok, I admit it, what's all this "BAIRNS" business?!!



                      As a Southerner I've lost this thread!! Please translate?!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Matthew sure a small search on the web will bring you results !!!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          And Hi to all,

                          Thought I better just fill you all in how things north of the Border are going!

                          Well seems the high profile attitude I have adopted seems to be doing the trick “” so far “ …Not one single abusive comment in over a week now .. “ will it last “ who knows !

                          Have been in a few situations this week “” and aye again of on holiday “” well I work hard for most of the year! Anyway back to the situations! On a few occasions our beloved NFH has been in the shall we say close proximity and the adopted gloating look stare seems to have calmed things down. “” 6feet 4 inches and close to 17 stones should work!! Gentle giant before you all have a go at me! Lol

                          Now have the situation where she will not even look the road I’m on!!! Long may it continue? Not that I have any reason to dish out some of her own medicine “not that way inclined “

                          Better let you all know about oor John the gossip! Well he has now decided not to speak ….and you want to know something “not even lost one ounce of sleep over him!! Who needs neighbours like him!



                          And a couple of questions...

                          Our beloved NFH has a small puppy “do like dogs “and know for certain at some staged it will jump the fence and leave shall we say it’s doings!!!

                          Can already tell by the way she is trying to train it. She has a small piece of garden where if I was the owner would be training the dog to leave its doings and very easily remove to the bin...what does the NFH do! Train it to **** in the grass right outside her door!

                          Now what do I do if it does?

                          Ignore and remove myself?

                          Or do my Postman Pat bit and deliver it back! Through the letter box!

                          Will wait on replies to that one!

                          Any way as you may tell from this post things are looking on the bright side …who knows how long it will last

                          Cheers

                          Scots couple!

                          Off for a wee half!

                          Oh! Nearly forgot how the hell do u get the wee icons to post !

                          Comment

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