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  • just found this site

    Hi all and may i say one of the most interesting sites i have came across. Problem is have lived in present home for past 9 years with no hassle ! that's untill what can only discribe as bag of S--- moved in "" now 9 months"" on and continual verbal aimed not at me but at my wife .....have at present shall we say knocked the door with what can only be discribed as trying to sort out the problem ......as normal to no avail .....really need advice on how to deal and cope with this stressful situation ....i can handle but my wife can't ! do we involve the police/take notes ect any help would be a god send

    cheers

  • #2
    Welcome to you both!

    Always good to meet new people even if its not the best circumstances.



    Can you tell us a little more about your problem please?

    We will be able to offer more advice if we know a little bit more,



    what kind of abuse is it?

    do you live in council or owned? and your neighbour?

    did you manage to discuss it with your neighbour?..you said you tried but did she take any of it in?



    Sorry for all the questions, just trying to get a bit of background!!





    The first thing you do need to do is to start recording/logging down all the incidents.

    you never know when you might need it.



    I know you will get a lot of support and advice here, you are certainly right...we are a very intresting bunch!!



    from Neighbour issues to time travel!! please peruse the site!!



    Beth

    Comment


    • #3
      Welcome to the board Scotscouple



      You sound like you're both living with some real stress and abuse from your neighbours, and I'm willing to bet that 9 months has felt like 9 years so far!



      Like Beth has said, can you give us a background on what's happened so far and where you're living etc (you say you've made your NFH aware of what has been disturbing you, what happened and what was said when you told them?) and what actions you've completed at this stage.



      Personally, I wouldn't involve the Police at this stage, unless any illegal acts take place next door or you feel endangered in any way by your neighbour (your safety and well-being is always the most important).



      Are your local authority involved and are you keeping any form of noise/event logs to use as evidence etc?



      Hope you come back often

      Comment


      • #4
        Welcome . . . can't say I'm glad to see you here because it isn't a good thing to have to come other than as a visitor, but I'm glad you've found us for support's sake.



        What part of Scotland do you hail from? I was in Fort William until I was forced by circumstances to move - miss it terribly.



        I'm so sorry to hear your wife is having a hard time of it but there's lots of help and sympathy here. Rotten luck to have been happy and now have it disturbed - I had my problems there but that's partly cos I'm English and Scots certainly have reason to resent the English, but once most people realised we were there bad weather as well as good and found that we weren't NFHs - they accepted us for the most part. Even the few who didn't confined themselves to writing rude things in the snow -and that melts!



        Unfortunately real NFHs don't . . . keeping notes is an excellent idea - in fact it is usually the first thing one is advised to do - just a plain record of what when and how, and of anything you've done to try and deal with the situation. If there's anything that can be photographed without it provoking another incident, that's not a bad idea . . . in fact I found that with some problems here it helped because the offenders knew that it identified them, but you'll know what's best in your own situation.



        We've all been through/are going through the mill so you know that we have a very good idea of how you're feeling







        tannasg

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        • #5
          Hello to you both and welcome to the site!



          Like other members have said, it is easier for us to offer you support and/or advice if you can tell us a little more about the problems you are facing. You mentioned verbal abuse, are your nfh (neighbours from hell) shouting at you about anything in particular? What started everything?



          Members of the board have suffered lots of varied nfh problems and we are here to listen to what you have gone/are going through and to help you both wherever we can.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Scotscouple,



            Welcome to the board. I think everybody else has made all the salient points and will be more than willing to give you loads of advice once we've established exactly what's happening.



            We're a friendly bunch and will always give a shoulder to cry on. Also if you need to rant there's the rants folder



            Look forward to hearing more from you.



            Misty
            "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi Scotscouple



              I wish I were in a position to offer a remedy. Constant verbal abuse is a horrible thing to have to put up with. "Fight, flight, or ignore it" seem to be the options open to you. Though you may want no part of it, it's being foisted upon you.



              You really must keep an 'abuse' diary. I'd recommend buying a separate one. It is harassment when persistent, (criminal law -wise in England, anyway). You may find that to acquire evidence, it may be helpful to purchase and carry a dictaphone/ pocket tape recorder. Not a nice or normal thing to do, but ignoring it isn't an easy option either. You might find, as we did, that the abusive ones can do rapid about-faces and pretend to others, particularly the authorities, that they are the victims and their targets the aggressors. Be careful. Unless there is some reason for this, which I'm guessing there isn't (or are you Palestinian / IRA, they Israeli / UVF or whatever?) you probably have a nasty pair experienced in that ill behaviour

              .

              . In our experience I was targeted first, with later my wife, kids and other neighbours who took exception to the nfhs' behaviour, also bearing the brunt of a pair of vile-mouthed harridans. Unfortunately they teamed up with a deviant couple who had crooked police 'friends' and the thus corrupted criminal justice system let the us & the community down badly. Rather than waste years battling with such grim 'uns, we moved.



              Please don't feel any shame or blame is justly due to you simply for being these horrors' choice of target. They're the wrong 'uns, not you.



              Good luck,

              H.

              Comment


              • #8
                Welcome on board Scotspeople - you will find the helpful contact here very supportive and make you realize it is not YOU and your wife that are the baddies - it is the pathetic NFH who seem to thrive on creating unhappiness and stress for those they do not like! It is them that are lacking - not you! Difficult to know what to do in these situations - there are risks to all aspects depending on how far your NFH are prepared to thrust their sword. It is easier some days to turn a blind eye and deaf ear but other times it is not. Don't think there is a decisive solution to NFH situations unless they break the law - it is how to live with it, cope with it or MOVE!! Know how you feel and certainly do sympathise.

                Keep your chin up

                Angelica

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi Scotscouple



                  Glad to have you on board. We also hail from the best side of the border as well! so if you let us know where you are from (be reasonably vague!- you never know whos watching!), were live in Fife.



                  As the others said you really need to give us some more detail.



                  The Horsefans

                  "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"



                  apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan



                  Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    First of all may I say many thanks to all who have replied to the form? Will start by giving you all some sort of low-down to the present situation. My family have lived at the present address now for the past 9 years with absolutely no problem no hassle in the slightest …as far as we were concerned could not have picked a better place to live and bring up the family...We live in the Stirling area or close to .



                    At the time could not have wished for a better bunch of people to stay close to friendly/chatty what more could we ask for?

                    Well times change and one of our closest decided to move on and move up the housing market “” bigger house “” which in turn meant we had the eventual moving in of the NFH. Both homes are bought not local authority.



                    Anyway things started of shall we say fine with the normal Hi/Hello Situation but never really much more that that.

                    Took the opportunity last summer during a fine day to try and start up a conversation with him in the back garden “”” I love my garden/greenhouse as we all do during the summer months, conversation was shall we say brief!!! No malice! Just really not a lot of words from the NFH. During the brief talk I asked him where they had lived before and turns out a few miles from where they are now living ….Also asked the question as most people do Why did they move Reason was DID NOT GET ON WITH THE NEIGHBOURS WHERE THEY LIVED …I wonder why ???



                    Where we live parking has always been a major problem but most or all of us put up with the situation, We have in the past asked the local authority to designate one parking space per household, as normal like asking for Gold from them, In the parking area there is one designated disabled space asked and granted for by a local resident. Over the coming months the Female member of the NFH was moaning regarding parking.



                    Time to bring the local Gossip monger as I call him shall call him John .John is the local know it all full time Gossip monger for the area ! Harmless well I thought he was!



                    Seems the female NFH had told him she was applying for her own disabled space and that she would not have any more problems with parking her car and woe betide anyone caught using it “ as she put it”

                    Now the NFH have a family of 2 same sexes and youngest has speech difficulties nothing more as far as we know. The child can run/skip/jump you name it and we can think of no reason other than speech difficulties for having a disabled badge.



                    We were approached from a local neighbour “good friend “on the subject of the disabled space and she was of the same opinion as us that there was no need for 2 spaces to be allocated as parking was extremely difficult .Over the next few weeks locals have checked the local paper for planning consent and a total of 9 people objected to this 2nd space being granted myself included.



                    Next John the gossip monger stops me in the street and says his words “ what about all those writing trying to get the second disabled space stopped “ I informed him I was one and gave my reasons for the objections .



                    Now it appears our John has been spreading rumours that it was us who started this campaign about the 2nd space and since that day onwards our beloved NFH have started a campaign of crude language and snide remarks aimed not at me yet. But at my wife and youngest child. At present this only happens when I’m not there. On the last occasion this happened I shall we say knocked her door for a chat and asked if she had a problem with me or my family.

                    As normal would have been better talking to the door and calmly walked away with deep thoughts inside my head ….Now know just exactly where I stood with them. Informed my wife of what had happened and told her just to ignore and not have a stand up slaging match with her as she will only try to antagonise her even more.



                    Decide to call the local police for information on how we stood as it turns out they will only become involved when actual physical violence is threatened.



                    So for the present we have a NFH who at any given chance will throw verbal abuse towards my wife and son …

                    What do we do about it!

                    Comment

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