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Poison spreads by word!

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  • Poison spreads by word!



    Having enjoyed our NFH absence for three months, they will be back this weekend. I am shaking already at that thought. Other neighbours have been very friendly and chatty whilst NFH has been away but when she returns, those neighbours will keep away from us and even turn away if we pass the time of day when walking past them. Whilst NFH has been away some comments have been repeated about what we are supposed to be, supposed to have done and supposed to have said to "terrify" our NFH which is all totally untrue! She tells people we have said, or done, terrible things to the point that she is terrified to come out of her house which is outrageously untrue. We keep out of her way as much as possible. That is the main reason I have not had so much time to key into NFH website recently because I have been doing all the front gardening jobs and outdoor jobs I can in this lovely weather before she returns. I want to, and do, as much as possible keep out of sight of her. When talking to her 'cronies' she always refers to me as "that b*tch" - just to gain sympathy from her cronies and get them to home in on 'poor her'. We have a CCTV camera in our porch which records sound and we have heard some of those comments ourselves - which are such vicious lies. The big question is - how can we stop NFH spreading poison by word in that way? Do we challenge her cronies and say "don't believe anything NFH says about us because it is all lies" - or do we just raise our eyes to heaven and try to raise above it all. It is very distressing to think others may think we are 'nasty' people because NFH had told them so. However, several neighbours have been very nice over the last three months. I did mention to one of those neighbours that NFH had reported us to the Environmental Health Department because we hang birdfeeders out and she complained that we were the cause of rat infestation! I wish I hadn't told the other neighbour that because it puts them in the middle of a battle they are not involved in - so it is all a catch-22 situation. I just wish the poison would stop spreading - but it will start again when NFH returns this weekend. A toxic story!

  • #2
    This is antique. I am in a similar situation with rumour and lies being spread. After five years of saying nothing in my defence i wrote a letter to everyone in my community with the facts and explaned what they had been doing. I made sure i didn't say anything i couldn't prove, which is important. I was very surprised at the feedback. they didn't realise what was going on and my tormentors are getting some of their own medicine now and they don't like it. But be aware it is a gamble.

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    • #3
      Hi Angelica,



      Do you remember the old saying that sticks and stones shall break my bones but names will never hurt me. Well, it is a saying that is wrong, names do hurt and mud does have a habit of sticking especially if you throw enough mud at the proverbial wall.



      I am guessing here that deep down all your neighbours know exactly the score with your NFH, because if the didn't why would they then speak to you when she buzzes off for three months. I have said this many times that people just don't want to get involved or they say 'Oh it's got nothing to do with us keep us out of it'.



      Trouble is it is those very same people that you need to rely on to back up what you have been saying all along. I suppose when NFH returns it will be back to the original Status Quo once again. I think the other neighbours are probably spineless people, as I personally would not single out any one person whoever they were just because my neighbour told me something malicious about them.



      Holding your head up high is all well and good when you are having to put up with a continual verbal onslaught by this one person who appears to make it her crusade to blacken your name. I know Madhatter has been trying to do the same, but I am onto this one especially with things progressing with my situation as fast as it is.



      However, that does not help you out in your situation.



      There is something called slander and defamation of character, unfortunately it is classified under a civil dispute and as such to bring this before the courts - if you wish to resort to such measures - would cost you a good deal of money and it would probably mean that any of your neighbours would not want to give evidence on your behalf citing the main reason as being 'Ohh we really would not want to get involved or make any comment'. So you are back to square one.



      My guess is that having CCTV footage of her behaviour and comments you could ask you solicitor to fire off a letter to her warning her of her damaging comments and the consequences of such actions being carried out by her. It is not going to help the situation but lets face it Angelica, it is hardly a retrievable situation where you could mend bridges is it ?



      Having a solicitors letter would cost you about £30.00 ish and might put the frighteners on her to get her thinking while she was away what the neighbours had been saying behind her back !!



      It is something that I would do personally myself, however, the end decision is ultimately yours.

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      • #4
        Lots of good advice from Antique, Sue and Scooby so nothing much I can add.



        I have a feeling the other neighbours know just how vicious your NFH is and are afraid of becoming her victims as well. They obviously find you approachable when she is not around. It is such an irony that she lies about being afraid to leave the house when it is patently obvious that it is you who have that problem. In which case, maybe you should ignore her spiteful comments and do exactly as you please in your own garden. I realise this will be difficult for you so maybe you should only do it if you feel up to it.



        Stand up straight, with head held high and remember you are the one who is being wronged. Sorry, I'm a bit braver with other people's NFH than my own It would be nice if your other neighbours were more willing to speak to you when the ***** is there as well as when she is away. Perhaps you could invite one or two of them for a cup of tea at your place.



        Whatever you decide to do I hope things get better for you. Good luck



        Misty
        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

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        • #5
          Thanks to all who replied to my Poison spreads by Word news. All your comments are very supportive and helpful. It will help alot to know there are others like you who are experiencing, or have experienced, similar situations and that their sympathy is there. Will grit my teeth and keep you posted. Thanks again.

          Angelica

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Anjelica,



            The NFH policy of slating you to the other neighbours as we have all found, seems to be a common trait amongst NFH's.



            Going from my own experience though, don't waste your money trying to bring a court case. We had all this from our NFH's. Our policy was non-response. The NFH wants to get a response from you. They want to know that they're affecting you.



            Do not give them the satisfaction. It IS hard I know but ultimately the NFH will realize that their tactics arene't working. They may either give up or become more frustrated and keep trying which provides you with more and more evidence.



            This is what has happened with our NFH under the Stupid Neighbours thread. We now have a file full of evidence that we can use as and when we choose.



            However, the NFH behaviour seems to have died off. They were even drilling on their wall the other week to install cavity insulation and the workmen came round to say that there might be some noise. We were going out anyway so it wasn't really a problem anyway. A couple of years before they would have done it out of spite without telling us.



            As for the other neighbours they won't want to get involved. Our NFh salted us of to everyone. At one pont it was literally all he could talk about. People in the end just became bored with it and those people who the NFH would have classed as friends just avoid him now. They still speak to us though and we did hear this weekend from one neighour that the other neighbours in the area have quite a lot of respect for us having seen what we went through but always managed to keep a cool head.



            First things first though in your case, DO NOT REACT to their provocation. At this stage gather evidence, the more solid the better. And be patient. You have this and intelligence on your side. Don't play the NFH's game.



            Play yours.
            Now, these creatures are bringers of death and misery. They will never eat, they will never sleep, and they will never stop.



            We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the Cities and Towns. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the NFH from ever being reborn into this world.




            So what's the plan?



            Rescue the damsel in distress, stop the bad guys, save the world.

            Comment


            • #7
              Angelica, well I know that feeling only too well, and there have been times that I would love nothing more than to just punch the Mother in the face, when I hear her telling all sorts of lies about me in the street.



              But I am too soft for my own good, and I know it would be me who gets into trouble not my NFH, so in frustration I lock myself in my room, and have a good cry



              These NFH need to get a life of their own, and stop butting in everyone elses



              I hope you feel a bit better with all the replies given, I know I can't do very much but I am sending you a {{{Hug}}}
              http://www.dawnie.interwebs.co.uk/Heart1.gif

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              • #8
                Hurt? Doesn't it just! Don't get any sympathy though - at least not from anyone round here - most of the locals are 'contributors' (no, they don't lay the eggs, though 'old boilers' would be a very good description!

                Our nickname for NFH 1's live-in is 'the aasvogel' - vulture to you! Pronounced Rs . . no, sorry, that won't work - a*s*vergel. Chosen for reasons of appearance, call and habits - and, admittedly, pronunciation



                The sheer waste of food appals me most. A hosepipe takes a few seconds to undo the problem and after seven years of it, it's a total waste of energy on the part of those who throw. At least the house is big enough for them to hit. They are careful to do it when none of use are in view (they think) because they know my accuracy with the slingshot . . and are not too sure what the scope is normally mounted upon.



                The gossip too - they tried telling their lies to the council but I was able to rebut them so effectively, with both proof and logic, that the council no longer bother to write to us with the 'allegations have been made' letters. Partly because the various council departments involved, Housing, Environmental etc. get such an excoriation themselves that they prefer not to poke me.



                It still hurts though that such malice should be directed toward a family who have done nothing but good since we moved here. I worked for Victim Support while I was able to stand the pollution of travelling the 6 mile round trip in a powered wheelchair - at exhaust level on the road, it wasn't too good for my emphysema never mind what the roads did to my joints; I was going to work for the Credit Union (but it fell apart once the members found that they couldn't borrow £1,000 on the strength of saving 50p/week for a month . . . various other things such as Domestic Violence support (that was a wierd set up - they wanted help but didn't want anyone to actually do anything useful - typical local cliqueyness! My sons are about the only two teen males who aren't in trouble with the police - I won't say not known to the police because they are - as rara avis!



                I am, however, a sinner. Outcast, a veritable leper! I tawk pawsh. I have no tv. I don't drink alcohol neither do I play bingo. I am a cripple. I am a (as far as the locals are concerned, suspected - as they have never associated with me, they can't know for sure!) a 'queer'. I'm not 'closeted'. Just imprisoned by lack of transport and the fact that there are no gay venues within my reach.



                I don't mind people talking of me about me - but I do mind them telling lies behind my back! It is getting to the point where I am strongly considering erecting a gibbet in the front garden with a KKK figure hanging from it. Conspicuously with hood.



                I get some fun out of it - but more tears. Far more. I just can't understand why these people get so much enjoyment out of tormenting the harmless. Like the junkie who robbed an old lady of her husband's VC. There was much noise about this locally (stupid twit, it never occurred to him that those aren't given away with packets of tea and it would be immediately traceable!) I never heard that it was returned. Little swine should have been . . . well, use your own imagination!



                Lies are told by those wishing to seem important in the eyes of others. Unfortunately, when the others are like-minded, exaggeration takes place and untold damage is done in many ways.



                I feel for you, I really do.



                Tannasg

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