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  • my story

    Hi and good morning everyone. I hope you are all well. As I have probably already said, I have moved home six times mostly because of nfh. My first home was my best, quiet and peaceful and a place i could relax. But it was bad with dampness and when my first child was born, the council had to rehouse me. I was moved to a flat above a drug addict. I couldn`t bring a child up there, dirty needles lying around need I say more. My husband and I decided to buy our first home. All was well for the first 2 or 3 months. Then xmas day came. The first party from my neighbours. 2 days later another, it went on and on and on. We sold the house for less than we paid for it and moved to another town. On the day we moved into our new home, our neighbours were sunbathing in the garden, music blaring. 8 hours it went on. This went on everyday for years, they couldn`t live without listening to loud music. I retaliated and bolted my speakers onto the wall, swivelled them round to face their wall and blasted my own music back. (even louder) It worked..... But I did ace lots of verbal abuse. When my second child was born, I moved. The next house was a council house, my new nfh was a single, young man who had bought his home. He invited the entire pub back to his house every weekend and parted non stop until monday afternoon. Every weekend, I had to take my children to my mothers house for a sleep. I had monitoring equipment installed, police reports etc and still got no where. It was when I was threatened in the street infront of my youngest child that again I decided to run away from it. Now I am at my latest home and you know a little about what is going on here. In between homes, We have stayed with parents etc until we found a new home. How I long to go to bed at a reasonable time of night and curl up with a good book. Is that too much to ask??? Well thanks for listening and letting me have a good moan.....

  • #2
    Debz.

    Wow how unlucky can someone be, so many NFH all after each other and at different houses.

    I think i will stay put, better the devil you know.

    At least with mine i always know when they are going to start trouble so am mostly prepared for it.

    So are you intending on staying where you are now or try and move again?

    Tracy

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    • #3
      Good grief Debz



      You've had a lifetime's amount of NFH, plus someone else's lifetime, very, very unlucky for you



      As Tracy says, are you planning on moving away again or are you going to attempt to tackle the current NFH?



      May I ask, you've had a lot of experience with different NFH, do you manage to check out each area/new house and it's neighbours before you move in or do you just take 'pot luck'? Were all the houses you suffered with NFH in the same area or different communities?



      This is always a worry for me, when we come to move again - I know I shall spend endless hours checking potential new areas and new neighbours before we move!



      Hope you're having a good week so far and good to see you on the forum

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Debz,



        I can only echo what other members have said. You really have been unlucky



        I think you must dread every move, having got away from one NFH to find yourself next to another. Must put you in a 'cleft stick' situation.



        I've lived in one place for twenty years and I've always had problems with the local yobbery. Sometimes we have long gaps where everything is peaceful you find yourself hoping it's all over but still waiting for the next lot of morons to move into the area - and they always do



        I'm afraid that unless there are some really harsh measures taken and a good shake up in legislation we're just going to have to put up with it. The only alternative is to become what we hate, but I know nobody wants that, I know I don't. I just want to enjoy my home, live in peace and be surrounded by pleasant people. Now you know why I picked this nickname



        Misty
        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

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        • #5
          I think i am lucky, i cold get a good nights sleep and am out at work as well, so in the summer time if the yobs were out at the back i and hubby just went out walking which we enjoy a lot.Even inside the house no noise it just that i love gardening and just enjoying my garden, so it made me pretty miserable, great though having a detached house, no noise from neighbours.



          No take advice from me, buy a bungalow, usually its the over 50s who buy bungalows, well that is what i was told and its true too.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by sombrueil@Feb 11 2003, 5:27 PM

            No take advice from me, buy a bungalow, usually its the over 50s who┬* buy bungalows, well that is what i was told and its true too.
            Excellent!



            Beth and I were already serious about going to look at a bungalow when we next move in about 2 years or so so I'll bear that in mind! Thanks Sombrueil.

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            • #7
              Hi and welcome, it sickens me that some people think they can behave in the most extreme manner and not disturb anyone, they need slapping!

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              • #8
                That's a good point, April. Let's not forget we've read a few stories about elderly NFH. Age seems to have no bearing on people's behaviour. I suppose it's even possible that if a young couple buy a house (or bungalow) in an area where many older people live, they will be resented by some, especially those with the NFH mindset



                Misty
                "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi everyone. I hope you are well... I honestly wish I could afford a bungalow or even a detached house. My husbands job doesn`t pay too good and I am disabled. Sometimes I feel my illness is probably due to all the worry and stress that ive had. I really want to move again but we have taken on a 5 year fixed mortgage and the penalty for selling up early is 3% of the borrowed amount. The woman who sold us the house, told us at the viewing that it was very quiet here. Infact, she only moved around the corner. After a few months of my nfhs noise, I asked her if she had had the same problems. She told me she had told them about hearing their child on several occasions and she had to be up very early for work. She had also become very good friends with the neighbours and didn`t want to complain. She lives alone and I think its down to being afraid to complain. Since I last logged in, I must admit my nfh have been so busy running about that they all seem to be going to bed early. peace perfect peace.... long may it last..... That is my point though, when they want to go to bed early, I respect that and give them all the peace and quiet they need. Why is it when i have an early rise, i dont get to sleep until the early hours??

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi April. I know what you mean, if only we could win the lottery. I pray that one day they might change the law and make it harder for nfh. Maybe an on the spot hefty fine. Councils etc lead you to believe that they can help, then when you do approach them for help, they tell you that you havent enough proof or back up to verify your story. This has happened so many times in my life that I no longer want to get local authorities involved. Nor do I trust them. Instead of making me feel that I was doing the right thing, I went from feeling like the victim to feeling as if I was being accused of being the nfh. In a way, I blame manufacturers of hifi`s and tv`s etc for making their equipment so loud and bassy and the law being changed that we can no longer disipline our children. When the belt was available at school, children seemed better behaved and we feared our parents. Now adays, we cant even smack a child on the b*m. Is it any wonder that society seems to be going down hill at a fairly rapid rate. I`m so glad I found this group, its restored my faith in there still being some really nice and wonderful people out there. I can`t thank you all enough...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Debz,



                      You've made some really good points, especially about your illness which may have been caused by NFH activity. Even if it wasn't the worry and stress can't have helped. I think the effect on health caused by NFH is vastly underrated.



                      I can also relate to you not wanting to get the LA involved because you feel as though you're the one on trial. We are told that people have to follow certain rules but when we prove they aren't and expect action to be taken, half the time it isn't. This put's people off complaining and then the LA say they don't have a problem because they haven't had any complaints! My neice complained twice about her NFH, nothing was done and when she complained a third time she was accused of being vindictive, when it certainly wasn't the case. So she won't complain any more and her NFH is still playing his music at stupid o'clock in the morning!



                      You also have a good point about the manufacturers of hifi's and tv's. Why do they have to be so loud? Why can't they put a limit on the decibel level? That would solve a lot of NFH problems. But I can't see them doing anything about it.



                      As to kids, I don't see any harm in a slap on the b*m from parents. It would be fine that they banned corporal punishment in schools IF they had replaced it with an effective deterrent to bad behaviour, but they haven't so in many schools kids do as they please and think it's ok outside school as well. So we have another generation of the 'me, me, me' society which is precisely the breeding ground of the NFH.



                      But we can't give up, if we do the NFH win and the problem will never go away. Eventually the powers that be will have to come up with an effective solution to this problem. How long it will take is another matter. Let's hope it's very soon.



                      Misty
                      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi everybody, I`m back again battering away on the pc to calm myself down. The nfh`s child has come alive..... banging and jumping, battering things off the walls. No wonder I call them the vampires. Its quiet most of the day and noisy at night. I get so wound up and upset it makes me want to go to their door and lash out, I feel sick to the stomach and just want to shout will you bl**dy well tie him up or something..... Sometimes I just want to run away but what would that achieve......

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Sheeeesh Debz, sorry to hear that



                          That feeling of nausea is so common amongst victims of NFH, but a human reaction to the stress and worry of it all - know where you're coming from with that.



                          Is it worth knocking on the door now and asking them to stop it, or a definite no no?



                          Hope it quietens down for you soon.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I HOPE I DON`T KEEP YOU ALL AWAKE AT NIGHT. I`M KIND OF NERVOUS ABOUT GOING TO BED UNTIL VERY EARLY IN THE MORNING. MY PC IS ABOUT THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME SANE...ON READING YOUR MESSAGES FOR ME, I`M ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDED BY THE WAY YOU CAN EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS.. YOU EXPRESS EXACTLY THE WAY I AM FEELING..DOES EVERYONE SUFFERING FROM NFH BECOME SENSITIVE TO NOISE? AND HAVE THE HORRIBLE TIREDNESS AND FEELING OVERWHELMED AND OF COURSE, NOT TO MENTION THE CHURNING STOMACH. I KNOW THAT SOMETIMES, I THINK I HEAR NOISE FROM MY NFH WHEN ITS MY OWN AND I PUT MY TV ON MUTE JUST TO LISTEN IF IT IS THEM, I`VE EVEN STUCK MY EAR UP TO THE WALL. A GOOD QUOTE I KNOW AND USE FREQUENTLY IS DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE DONE UNTO YOU...THANKS FOR LISTENING...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi Debz,



                              It is always good to get stuff off you chest, thats what we are here for!!



                              and yes we are all super sensitive about noise and we still mute the tv like you said,



                              sometimes we think we can hear Neighbour noises and it is just our Ghost!!



                              bless him..he got the blame for the earthquake shaking our bed last year..wasn't until we put the tv on we realised and then hastily aplogised!!



                              it will take time for us all to get used to noise again, be patient, deal with one day at a time,sort the NFH first then deal with the sensitve noise thingy



                              (sorry was on early shift and brain now frazzled, having problems stringing sentances together!!)



                              we are a group of people very much like AA...we take one day at a time...in the end we will get there!!

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