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  • My Hell of a Story

    Hello all,



    I'm very pleased to find this website after much searching for resources in the UK that allow us victims of NFH to air our grievances. Misery likes company as they say. Good work everyone and I do hope the site has many successes.



    Now, I'm here to tell my story - a horrible one that will see my family dead before some divine intervention can save us. My mother believes this will be her last Christmas, but still the hell neighbors wont leave us in peace as I draft this on Christmas day. I'll keep it brief and to the point.





    The Problems:



    We are now on our 4th year of neighbor hell with the family next door. Our home is at the end of a 3 house block of council houses, which construction wise, are very week with no internal brick between each house. (probably standard construction nowadays?) Our house is privately owned.



    To date, I have cataloged about 28,000 (thousand) noise instances on computer with dates, times, incident etc. These are mainly the noise type that consist of: slamming a back door extremely hard that joins onto our living room wall, stomping hard on stairs that also run along our living room, slamming a heavy solid wood front door and more. Each of these rock our house with an impact that literally buckles in the walls and can hurt the ears from the boom.



    On top of this, we also face music, footballs kicked against our house inside & out, rowdy behavior, hammering, drilling, lite car vandalism, car space constantly blocked, mess and other debris spilling into our garden and other malcontent behavior from the 2 boys and one girl living there.



    Sample of the constant problems occurring EVERY day all day:



    12.18 am woken by heavy lump

    11.10 hammering then slam back door hard

    12.30 pm bang crack back door

    12.50 slam back door

    12.56 very heavy stomping lumping about – house vibrating

    1.08 slam back door

    1.13 heavy stomping on stairs

    2.04 heavy thumps and lumps vibrating walls



    The most devastating for me personally, was these 2 instances last year that still haunt me today; seeing my disabled farther resting in the garden only to have water thrown all over him - presumable for a 'good laugh' and to see my mother, home from a delicate heart operation, resting just inches away from the slamming door games.



    Can you imagine that - a heart patent surrounded by intense noise and nerve breaking booms!





    Health Issues:



    Mild paranoia, broken nerves (see me jump when someone claps!) and a fear of the outside world. I had none of these before the 4 years of terror started.





    Attempts to Resolve:



    - About 17 times I have asked these people to stop as the effect on us is terrible. No difference, 4 times after being told the situation actually got worse. (but WHY should I keep telling them this? Once should be enough)

    - 2 reports to the police. No reply.

    - 1 report to the environment health officer. No reply.

    - 5 attempts to acquire a solicitor mainly to find out my rights. 3 didn't reply. 1 no follow up after 1st letter. 1 claims my case is a "waste of time" and wouldn't take it on.





    Mind Breaking:



    This is my parents house (I'm a middle aged living at home) who are always trying to be friendly with these people. Being elder parents, they just don’t want to make any trouble with anyone so have an appeasement type attitude with them. What is mind-breaking for me, is how this is actually happening. Are the youths doing this only when the parents are out? Done in spite? - but why do they hate us? Do the parent NOT KNOW how this noise effects us? Do they know but don’t care?





    The Future



    I have no idea about that. It's gotten so bad here now the house is unfit for human habitation. The noise gets louder over the years as the youths grow and get more stronger to stomp and slam. I'm starting my business again with the hopes I can buy us out of this hell, but they WILL slow me down with this noise as before. All we want is some basic peace and the dignity we once had as a family - That's all!



    Thank you so much for reading. Wow, I actually feel a bit better now I've done this. Please ask any questions and I will gladly expand any points that interest you.



    All the best,



    Peter J.

  • #2
    Hi Peter,



    Welcome to the NFH board, glad to have you here, although I wish it'd had been under better circumstances.



    Your situation certainly sounds pretty complex and you have very varied types of noise and other disturbances/nuisances to consider.



    28, 000 different instances of disturbance, is, quite frankly, amazing. I cannot believe that your local LA environmental health dept is not interested in assisting you further? They (Env Health Dept) either have poor communication in getting back to people or they are truly incompetent!



    That truly is quite disgusting by the council that you have not been assisted (if this is deliberate), as this is your right and entitlement. I am sorry to read about the effects it is having on your family and what we often say on here, the 'chinese water torture' effect is culmilative - it snowballs to one massive big problem, bringing in all the smaller problems into one big,

    overall situation.



    May I ask how you contacted the Env Health Dept? Was it via e-mail, phone, letter etc? I think you definitely need to contact them again and express to them how urgent you believe your case to be.



    What other measures you personally have tried to take in dealing with your NFH (e.g. verbally asked them a number of times, asked the police to get involved, and so on) - e.g. have you written to your NFH and made them aware of what they are doing to disturb/invade your privacy or disrupt your lives? In the letter it is vital to list how they are affecting you too (e.g. lack of sleep, stress caused, physically ill, and so on).



    Your council Env Health Dept (LA) have a duty to help you and to investigate - don't be fobbed off or ignored. Write to them if neccessary (keep copy of letter) and insist they investigate further. If you ring, I've often found taking a note of the person's name is very useful in case you need to contact them again to ask them to take action (if it hasn't been done properly). If neccessary, ask to speak with one of the LA Env Health Dept managers.



    Do you rent your home and do your NFH rent theirs? Just thinking about possible courses of action open to you (e.g. Housing Assoc complaints, Council complaints, and so on).



    Why are the police not wanting to get involved if their are instances of vandalism that are occuring? Is it because there is no proof or no 'independent witness' to the occurences?



    Sorry about all the questions (!), I'm just trying to form a clear picture in my head, of an undoubtedly terrible situation for you and your family. With such a varied amount and differences to the disturbances you are experiencing, they are certainly all adding up to be a big problem for you and your family, intruding into your space and constantly into every aspect of your homelife.



    Unfortunately, many solicitors aren't interested in NFH orientated cases, unless they are very 'cut and dry' - as they are often very complex and difficult to follow through. I also feel some solicitors don't have the neccessary specialised knowledge to actually follow through on NFH cases. it is certainly a problem finding a capable solicitor who will actually follow through with your case.



    So, anyway, with that said - most importantly, I hope you and your family are managing to keep your heads high and stay well throughout all this - most importantly, make them (your NFH) see they are not affecting you as you have higher morals and higher standards than them. Easy to say, we all know, but always scores a 'psychological' win against your NFH if you can do it!



    Hope to read some more details from you soon Peter



    Take Care and best wishes to your family.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Peter,



      I'm horrified at your situation. It is grossly unfair and I cannot understand why your council is not helping you! Matthew is right, they have a duty to help you.



      Have you contacted your MP or local councillors? You say you 28,000 instances logged over a four year period. Perhaps you could write to your MP, explain how your council and Environmental Health department have let you down and ask him/her to investigate. I did this with my MP over the yob nuisance and she tried very hard to help, unfortunately I was lumped in with a lot of other people who were having the same sort of problems all over the estate and until recently nothing much was done.



      Throwing water over your father was an assault and the police should have dealt with it. Unfortunately neighbour nuisance and youth disorder seem to be low down on the the police priority list.



      I hope you can find some help soon. Everybody on this board will sympathise with your plight and you'll get lots of support here.



      Misty
      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

      Comment


      • #4
        hi Peter



        im horrified to read you NFH story, god , you must be going thru hell and your parents too, im not good at advising as im going thru hell myself, but i understand very well what you are going thru, its terrible that these people are getting away with all the pain they are causing you and i hope somehow you get the peace that you deserve one day, i know its easier said that done.



        Im amazed that the authorities are not doing a thing about the situation.



        My heart goes out to you and your family, and i truly wish you a lot of luck.



        Coming here and posting my problems has help me a bit if only to get it off my chest and having the encouragement from others in similar situation, makes me feel that im not alone.



        all my love



        sallyanne

        Comment


        • #5
          hi mate,



          Sorry to hear of your troubles but you know we can all relate to them. Keep your chin up, tomorrow is another day.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thanks all so much for your thoughts. Being the only ones actually taken time to sympathize with my situation, I cant begin to explain how grateful I am.



            Some bad & good news...



            Boxing day was just dreadful. We had our relations visit for some food and eats just at the same time as the hell neighbors gave us one of the worse noise displays ever encountered. My cataloging started from 11.10am with heavy hammering vibrating everything and ended at 10.42pm with a massive slam of the back door. I just couldn't take the humiliation of this in front of people, so I stayed upstairs all day with a stress induced fast heart beat and my asthma stirring.



            The family and guests just carried on as normal, but then this denial mode is common when faced with uncomfortable situations not under your control. When one of them left (a social worker friend) I overhead her say to her husband "what on earth was all that noise?" Humiliating.



            Now some good news. One of the 3 teenagers has moved out! This happened today to a property 1 mile away. OK, so he's going to comeback to visit occasionally, but this is a good start being the worst of the 3 and a convicted armed robber at that (at only 18!).



            Matthew:

            The lack of cooperation from the council is typical for my city. I phoned a friend yesterday who has dealings with the council department and rekcons this type of no reply is common. The police issue is also typical. My complaints were by letter but as I said no reply they could have patrolled the area for all know.



            To follow up on this lack of progress is actually difficult for me as the property is my parents and they just don’t want the trouble. If I lived there alone, things would be different.



            God bless you all.

            Comment


            • #7
              aww peter im so sorry about the hell you all going thru, i understand very well what effects the noise and unreasonable behaviour is causing you.



              we have our house up sale, could be that an option for you?, i know its your parents house but may be it could be the best thing you could do.



              it has been pointed to me that when we have NFH next door no matter what you say or do they wont back off, the more you try the worste it gets.



              there must be a way that the LA can help you somehow, keep complaining to the council, on and on its the only way to get help.



              I wish i could help , all i can do is offer you my support and to let you know that you are not alone.



              peace and god bless



              love



              sallyanne

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi peter have just read about your situation ,i know its hard but you should not let them get to you its really unfair that you missed out on time with your family because of them.pity you could not have tried to ignore it and if any of the family had asked explain to them whats going on i am sure they would understand and also i am sure you could do with the support of your friends and family they may be able to help more than you think.



                anyway you should have a good trawl through this site there is a lot of good advice and sites you can download ,everthing from how to complain and get resulst . to how to write letters with the same effect and even how to relax

                when not feeling so good!!



                hope you get some of this sorted soon ,but maybe the answer would be a move especially with elderly parents



                keep us informed



                the horsefans

                "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"



                apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan



                Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  hi Peter,

                  thanks for sharing your story with us, I am sure we are all thinking of you.



                  It is horrible when life can be effected by the few bad apples in the "handcart!"



                  I am glad thet one of the NFH has gone, now you will have to see what sort of an influance he had on the others, they might calm down a bit if the ring leader has moved on.



                  I hope you and your parents have a quiet new year.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Peter I have read your story and also feel a great deal of sadness for your situation. I assume that living with your parents, you have to take stock of their wishes. But as we found out, the longer you leave it the worst you feel about the situation.

                    I would be interested if any of guests over Xmas did notice, and what their feelings were. This is good independant evidence. It may also put into perspective what noise is reasonable and what is not.

                    I myself have had to question some of the noises I was getting upset about, although there is no doubt you are suffering.

                    Keep up the complaints your parents may become more supportive if they see you getting a response.



                    Chin up we are all in this together

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thanks a lot everyone for your comments.

                      I do feel more optimistic since sharing my story here.



                      I'm surprised no one asked what the folks at the end of the block think of all this racket. Well, I can tell you one week last summer the neighbor had a horrible party with about 6 more troublesome youths from the estate coming to join the 'fun'. This resulted in a smashing-the-back-door game which lasted till 4am in the morning. The neighbor at the end, who has a little child, was absolutely furious at this horrendous noise abuse and almost had a break-down in the middle of the street.



                      Very unpleasant and disturbing to witness I can tell you.



                      That was the day when the police did show up after I reported the youths smashing bottles just feet away from my car. (an unfortunate design of the houses means my car space is almost outside their door.)



                      As for now, the noise has subsided quite a bit since the elder youth has moved out.



                      I'm still hoping this will follow through to the others (one also at leaving age) but will still have to contend with the husband knocking and banging in his 'workshop' garden.



                      But here's hoping for some luck in the new year!



                      Best wishes,



                      Peter.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I've just noticed, it's Peter's birthday today.



                        Hope you have a happy birthday Peter and I hope your new year brings you a lot more happiness than you've had in the past.



                        Misty
                        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Oh Peter, i thnk it is absolutely shocking that you and your family have to put up with all that cr*p, at least my neighbours near me are all hard working and decent just the cr*p at the back, sorry but i have the best solution just get a ****** gun, sorry but a lot of people who live on Councl estates who have bought under the right to buy can still live next door to the clampetts( undesirables)I come originally from a council estate and everybody on it were decent hardworking people and now when i see my old neighbours they are living in hell cos they put the most disgusting people in them who will never do a days work. So sorry for you Peter please get out and get some piece and quiet.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Sombruiel, I can attest to what you have said about council estates. I live on what is probably the second largest in the country and have done most of my life.



                            It was ok when I was a kid but now it's hell. They give three bedroomed houses to single blokes who bring all their riff raff friends in to cause mayhem for the ordinary decent people. They also give to feckless single mothers who have four, five, six kids to different men and don't give a damn what their kids are getting up to and if you tell them all you get is a mouthful of abuse. They have no idea how to be real parents. Don't get me wrong there are lots of single mothers who do a brilliant job of bringing up their kids. Sadly they are in the minority and seem to get tarred with the same brush as the others. And God help you if a house becomes empty if you have one these for a neighbour because you can bet your bottom dollar they'll get one of their equally irresponsible, antisocial friends in as well.



                            There are lots and lots of really good, decent people on my estate but they are terrified of the yobs and their kids. Try and sort things out for yourself and you'll find yourself in court while the social services and social security look after the perpetrators, paid for with your taxes, of course.



                            Oops, should have saved this for the rant folder



                            Misty (waiting for a lottery win)
                            "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              And God help you if a house becomes empty if you have one these[/b]


                              I meant one of the feckless mothers not the decent single mothers



                              Misty
                              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

                              Comment

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