Neighbours From Hell in Britain

Scotland | Naked trampoline man avoids jail sentence

jrobertson — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 08:43:03 GMT

www.bbc.co.uk - BBC News - 29-Jul-2010

Naked trampoline man avoids jail sentence

James Burden has avoided a jail sentence

A man caught jumping up and down naked on a trampoline has avoided a jail sentence.

James Burden, 55, was spotted by a neighbour in the garden of his Falkirk home at 0500 GMT on 25 March.

Falkirk Sheriff Court heard Burden had his "manhood" in one hand and a cigarette in the other when the neighbour saw him.

She called the police, and Burden was arrested and charged with shameless indecency.
Mike McMahon, prosecuting, said: "He told police he had gone out to the trampoline and had masturbated himself there."

Asked why he did it, Burden told officers: "Just for the thrill of it."
�Start Quote

I have read the reports and you will be provided with the support that you need, and it is essential the community is not faced with this sort of behaviour again�

End Quote
Sheriff William Gallacher Falkirk Sheriif Court

Asked why he looked at his neighbour's window, he said: "Because I had seen the light go on."

He added: "I did not intend anyone to see me."

Burden pleaded guilty to a single charge of publicly exposing his person in a shameless and indecent manner, and approaching his neighbour's house and placing the occupant in a state of fear and alarm.

He appeared for sentencing at Falkirk Sheriff Court earlier this month but attempted to withdraw his plea.

Gordon Addison, defending, said his client now claimed to have "only pled guilty to avoid the embarrassment of a trial".

Read more

caught in the act - the drivers who put others at risk

pmt — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:44:26 GMT

http://www.thisisnorthdevon.co.uk/ne...l/article.html

cauBACK OFF: This car had to pull back in behind the lorry because there was just no more room to overtake. Officers said the car was also dangerously close to oncoming traffic.

< Previous 1 2 3 Next >

PICTURED here are examples of what can be seen almost every day along the North Devon Link Road.
Vehicles pulling out from the traffic in the hope of passing a handful of cars, motorists growing impatient while stuck behind lorries or caravans, and cars trying to squeeze back into unmanageable spaces after realising they have overshot the overtaking lane.
The A361, which stretches between Barnstaple and Tiverton, has undergone some criticism since it opened in 1992, particularly in relation to its death toll, which last month reached 43.
But local traffic police say drivers need to stop blaming the road for accidents and take responsibility for their own driving.

To hammer home that message, police have been out in force on the link road's bridges, taking photos of motorists who illegally cross the double-white lines.
Since June 2, 77 endorsable fixed penalty tickets have been issued to motorists who cross the white lines.
This means three penalty points and a �60 fine for the driver.
A further 51 drivers have been summonsed to court for the offence.
Sergeant Paul Gammons at Barnstaple Traffic said the photos were intended to educate motorists about why the rules are in place.
He said: "We want people to go away as better drivers. Unless we achieve that, we have not achieved our objective."
Sergeant Gammons said the way to avoid the situations shown here was to prepare.
"You must forward plan so you avoid a situation where you put yourself and other drivers in danger," he said.
"There is a lot of criticism of the road in general but drivers have to take some responsibility for the way they drive."
He also said many did not understand, or have patience with, road legislation.
He said: "The link road is unique in that there is a lot of mixed traffic, including a mix of legal speed limits.
"But people have to be patient with that legislation and must expect to be stuck behind slower traffic. There is plenty of opportunity to overtake, if people are patient.
"Many people also do not understand the Highway Code."
The Highway Code states motorists must not cross or straddle double white lines, unless entering adjoining premises or a side road.
Motorists may cross the line to pass a stationary vehicle or to overtake a pedal cycle, horse or road maintenance vehicle travelling at 10 mph or less.
Areas of white diagonal stripes or chevrons painted on the road and bordered by a broken white line should not be entered unless it is necessary.
Areas bordered by solid white lines, as seen along the link road, must not be entered except in an emergency.
MPC Richard Hughes, who took many of the photos, said the project was not a money-making scheme, but was in response to concerns raised by local motorists.
MPC Paul Greatbatch, another officer dealing with the issue, said: "The people we have photographed are from all walks of life. It is a broad spectrum � housewives, bus drivers, company directors. We are not just targeting one section of the population."
The officers said the Country Mile project, launched in 2008 by Devon County Council, identified parts of the A361 which needed attention.
Extra warning signs and reinforced road markings have since been put on the Link Road to raise awareness of the repercussions of crossing the white lines

Investigation after dog dies in hospital car park

pmt — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:37:10 GMT

http://www.thisisnorthdevon.co.uk/ne...l/article.html

A DOG died after being left in the back of a hot car while its owner went to a hospital appointment.
The collie dog had been left in a car parked at North Devon District Hospital in Barnstaple on Friday afternoon.
The dog's owner was an outpatient visiting the hospital for a procedure.
Diana Lewis, founding member of North Devon Animal Ambulance, was called to the scene by a worried member of the public who saw the dog in distress.

She said: "I received the call about a very distressed dog in a hot car.
"I responded within minutes to find the dog had already died.
"I called 999 and the police arrived immediately. It is a terribly traumatic, heartbreaking end to a dog's life."
The dog, which was in a cage, was lying down in the back of the car when it was seen by a couple who pulled up in the parking bay behind.
The pair ran into the hospital to make the phone call to Mrs Lewis.
She said: "I cannot believe people are still keeping dogs in hot cars, despite all the publicity there is about it.
"The hospital even has RSPCA posters in the hospital telling people not to leave dogs in the car."
A police spokesman said the dog had already died when officers arrived at the hospital.
The police have passed the investigation to the RSPCA.
A spokesman for Northern Devon Healthcare NHS Trust, which runs the hospital, said: "We can confirm the dog had been left in a car by a patient on Friday afternoon.
"Our on-site policeman is now conducting a joint investigation with the RSPCA.
"We would urge any patient coming to hospital to leave their dog at home.
"Even during a short stay for an appointment, the temperature inside a car can rise very sharply and put the dog's life at risk."
Mrs Lewis said in a similar case a dog was left for an hour and 40 minutes while its owners went to an event in Braunton on Sunday. Luckily that dog survived unharmed.
She said: "Everyone knows about dogs and hot cars and the repercussions.
"A very beautiful dog has now died unnecessarily. How do you explain that kind of loss?
"The owner will be devastated and ridden with grief for the rest of her life

Narrow squeak for kittens dumped in the rain

pmt — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:31:26 GMT

http://menmedia.co.uk/manchestereven...ed_in_the_rain

July 29, 2010
Share Article| Submit Comments | Comments (5) | Printable Version Previous | Next

1/1 Play Slideshow

Close Map
Three kittens were left in the rain and nearly drowned.

Eleven cats almost drowned after being abandoned at an animal sanctuary.
Two separate boxes of kittens and cats were dumped at the Animals in Distress sanctuary in Silver Street, Irlam.
But heavy rain and poor drainage meant the kittens were covered in water and almost drowned as a result of being left outside.
Most of the animals now have eye infections and are being treated by staff at the sanctuary.
One box had an adult female cat with six kittens and the other had a female cat with three kittens.
The animals were dumped in the early hours and staff were only alerted when they saw a figure leaving the premises through the CCTV system.
Joanne Sumner, who works at the sanctuary, said: "It is a disgrace. The person has obviously just dumped the cats with no thought about them atall.
"I know we can look after them, but if we hadn't had the CCTV, we
wouldn't have seen the cats until the morning and they would've drowned.
"The person may have been trying to help the cats by leaving them with us but they could've killed them.
"The kittens are in a bad way. When we got them out of the carriers, they were covered in faeces.
"It was really horrible and our hearts all went out to them."
The adult cats have been named Venus and Aphrodite and were joined by another adult cat with two kittens dumped over the weekend.
The kittens are not yet ready for re-homing and are being looked after by sanctuary staff.
For more information on the sanctuary, call 0161 775 2221

100million Facebook users' details published in privacy scare

pmt — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:19:27 GMT

http://www.metro.co.uk/tech/836464-1...-privacy-scare

Around 100million Facebook users have had personal details harvested and shared online by a security researcher claiming to be exposing 'privacy flaws', it emerged last night.

(3) Related Tags:privacy facebook information user profile

Facebook says that only information that is already publicly visible is included in the 'leaked' database
The huge batch of profiles was released online, and was being downloaded by thousands of people on to the Pirate Bay file-sharing website.
Privacy campaigners accused Facebook of being lax in allowing so much personal data to be exposed.
The list includes URLs for 100million Facebook user profiles, as well as their names and their unique Facebook IDs - all information that is already publically visible to visitors to their profile page.
Phone numbers were not included, nor were email or postal addresses.
The trawl was done by Canadian security consultant Ron Bowes, who said he wanted to highlight possible privacy lapses. Mr Bowes used a piece of code to trawl Facebook profiles and capture details that had not been hidden by the site�s privacy settings.
Facebook insisted the database only contained �information that people have agreed to make public�.

Bowes said: �This is a scary privacy issue. I can find the name of pretty much every person on Facebook. Once I have the name and URL of a user, I can view, by default, their picture, friends, information about them, and some other details.

�If the user has set their privacy higher, at the very least I can view their name and picture.

�So, if any searchable user has friends that are non-searchable, those friends just opted into being searched, like it or not.�
The site has already faced criticism for not making it clear enough what opt-outs Facebook users needed to make to keep parts of their profile viewable by friends alone.
Simon Davies, from the civil liberties watchdog Privacy International, told the BBC: �People did not understand the privacy settings and this is the result. There are going to be a lot of angry and concerned people right now, wondering who has their data and what they should do.�

Facebook insisted: �People who use Facebook own their information and have the right to share only what they want, with whom they want, and when they want.

Mother confesses to killing eight of her own newborn babies

pmt — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:16:31 GMT

A mother has confessed to killing eight of her own newborn babies and hiding their bodies in plastic bags, it has been revealed.

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/836536-m...newborn-babies

Dominique Cottrez was charged with the "deliberate homicides of minors under the age of 15", which carries a life sentence. Her husband was indicted for "failure to report a crime and harbouring corpses." (AFP/Getty Images)
Auxiliary nurse Dominique Cottrez, 45, initially confessed in custody to killing two children at birth about 10 years ago, before admitting to the murder of the six others, the source said.
She and her husband Pierre-Marie Cottrez have been in custody since the bodies were found on Tuesday wrapped in plastic bags at two homes in Villers-au-Tertre, France.
Authorities have placed her under formal investigation - a preliminary stage before criminal charges - for "voluntary murder of minors under the age of 15".
Her husband was also put under investigation for hiding the bodies and not alerting police.
The prosecutor asked for Dominique Cottrez to be held in custody and Pierre-Marie Cottrez to be freed under judicial supervision.
Neighbours in the village said the couple, who have two daughters in their twenties, had never acted suspiciously. The bodies came to light after the couple moved house recently.
"They were always smiling and warm-hearted," Madame Candelier, the current owner of couple's old house where some of the corpses were discovered, told local television.
According to the mayor, the husband was a member of the local council.
Experts on similar past cases say they often involve "denial of pregnancy", when women refuse to accept they are pregnant, sometimes leading to the murder of their children at birth.
Israel Nisand, professor of the University Hospital in Strasbourg, said there were about 500 cases of woman denying their pregnancies each year around the world.
"It's serious and dangerous, but not very well known about. It's as if there is a denial of the denial," he told Reuters. "The state of mind worries us all and, in the case of women who kill their children,
it is shocking for everybody." A 38-year-old Frenchwoman was sentenced in March to 15 years in prison for killing six babies at birth between 2000 and 2007

Getting a hair dryer through customs..

Omega — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:12:49 GMT

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?'

'Of course child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father.

Next!'

Bob and the Blonde

Omega — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:07:59 GMT

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar
And stared up at the TV.

The 10 PM news was coming on.
The news crew was covering the story
Of a man on the ledge of a large building
Preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Boband said,
"Do you think he'll jump?"
Bob said,
"You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied,
"Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said,
"You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar,
The guy on the ledge
Did a swan dive off the building,
Falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset,
But willingly handed her $20 to Bob.
"Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied,
"I can't take your money.
I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news,
So I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied,
"I did, too,
But I didn't think he'd do it again."
Bob took the money.

Dogs 'mimic owners' movements'

News — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:30:19 GMT

Dogs "automatically imitate" the body movements of their owners, according to a study.

Read More Quirkyness...

Runaway tiger found in S Africa

News — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:30:19 GMT

A pet tiger that escaped in South Africa is found after a two-day search with helicopters, a tracker and sniffer dogs.

Read More Quirkyness...

Shock for neighbours after Gosport stabbing

jrobertson — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 09:11:09 GMT

www.portsmouth.co.uk - Portsmouth Today - 27-Jul-2010

nfh age: 45; nfh sex: male
location: Prideaux-Brune Avenue in Bridgemary, Gosport; map view
tags: stabbed, murder, arrested, arguing, dispute

Shock for neighbours after Gosport stabbing

By Ruth Scammell

Neighbours have spoken of their shock after a man was stabbed in the stomach.

The 34-year-old victim was knifed during a dispute with a neighbour in Prideaux-Brune Avenue in Bridgemary, Gosport, at about 6.20pm on Sunday.

He remains in a stable condition in hospital.

As reported in The News yesterday, a 45-year-old man -a neighbour of the victim - was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder.

He remains in police custody.

Neighbours Sue and Steve Batten, who live next door to the arrested man, say they heard an argument and tried to break up the fight, before calling the police.

Mrs Batten, 48, said: 'We heard it all.

'We were having a barbecue.

'They were arguing in the kitchen. We don't know what caused it at all.'

Speaking of the arrested man, she added: 'He has been a very good neighbour to us for three years.

'He keeps himself to himself.

'He was very helpful when we first moved in.

'He's a very polite and decent bloke. We have never had any problems with him at all.'

Another neighbour, Helen Cowling, 43, added: 'It's a bit shocking. I wouldn't see him as the sort of person who would do something like that.

'He's always been a nice bloke to talk to.'

Councillor Dennis Wright, who represents Bridgemary North, said: 'From what I have gathered so far it's some sort of neighbourly dispute.

'It is a quiet residential area.

Read more

Asbos may be axed

pmt — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:22:14 GMT

in sweeping changes, says Theresa May
http://www.metro.co.uk/news/836408-a...eeping-changes

Anti-social behaviour orders (Asbos) may be axed as the Government signalled its intention to turn the system for dealing with yobbish behaviour on its head.

(1) Related Tags:London behaviour police community power

Home Secretary Theresa May made a key speech on anti-social behaviour
Home Secretary Theresa May today said: "It is time for us to stop tolerating anti-social behaviour."
Strong community action must be used instead to bring back a sense of personal and social responsibility and to make anti-social behaviour "unusual, abnormal and something to stand up to", she said.
"We must turn the system on its head," Mrs May said. "There is no magic Whitehall lever we can pull simply to stop anti-social behaviour. No magic button to press or tap to turn to stop the flow of misery.
"The solution to your community's problems will not come from officials sitting in the Home Office working on the latest national action plan.
"We will put power into the hands of our citizens and we will put our trust into the professionals."
Speaking at the Coin Street Neighbourhood Centre in Southwark, London, Mrs May said one person in every seven believes their local area suffers from high levels of anti-social behaviour, leading to millions of tarnished lives and costing billions of pounds a year to tackle.
"We need to make anti-social behaviour what it once was - unusual, abnormal and something to stand up to - instead of what it has become: frequent, normal and tolerated," she said.
Government proposals include a sweeping crackdown on binge drinking, reforming the licensing laws and a bid to make police a more responsive and accountable part of local communities.
Mrs May said she wants officers to be able to use their "common sense" to deal with anti-social behaviour, with punishments being "rehabilitative and restorative" rather than "criminalising".
She added that while police are often the first port of call for victims, "they have not always taken anti-social behaviour seriously enough".
"It's time to move beyond the Asbo," she said. "We need a complete change in emphasis, with communities working with the police and other agencies to stop bad behaviour escalating that far."
Communities need to be given the power to bring about their own change, and police and councils need the right tools to get their jobs done, she said.
Plans include incentives for unemployed people to make work pay, regaining discipline in schools by putting teachers back in control of their classrooms and encouraging young people to take responsibility through National Citizen Service.
Solutions to stop anti-social behaviour also need to come from communities themselves, Mrs May said.
"We will back those who step in when it is right to do so and we will support people so that they are willing and able to reclaim their communities," she said.
The key speech came as official figures from the Ministry of Justice showed more than half of the almost 17,000 Asbos issued between June 2000 and December 2008 were breached, leading to an immediate custodial sentence in more than half of the cases.
But shadow home secretary Alan Johnson defended Asbos, which were brought in to deal with persistent minor offenders whose actions might not otherwise have been punished, saying they made huge contributions towards tackling crime and anti-social behaviour.
"The Home Secretary demonstrates a lack of understanding about the powers already available to the police," he said

Pregnant mum facing eviction from family home

redkite — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:06:27 GMT

www.walesonline.co.uk - WalesOnline - CardiffOnline - Cardiff news - 27-Jul-2010

nfh age: unknown; nfh sex: female
location: De Bawdrip Road, Cardiff; map view
tags: pregnant, eviction, violence, abuse
Pregnant mum facing eviction from family home

By Abby Alford

A pregnant mum of several children is facing eviction from her family home after neighbours told of months of violence and abuse.

Residents told a court how Tracey Eedy threatened to kill them, screamed abuse, kicked in front doors and punched her next door neighbour.

Giving evidence at a hearing in the city�s county court, where Cardiff Community Housing Association is seeking a possession order to enable it to evict Ms Eedy from De Bawdrip Road in the Tremorfa area of the city, neighbour Nicola Stokes described the situation as an "absolute nightmare".

Muir Lowry, anti-social behaviour officer for the housing association, said Ms Eedy�s behaviour has resulted in her receiving three suspended prison sentences.
He said: "I believe that it (a possession order) is the only option left open to us to try to solve the problems in De Bawdrip Road."

Read more

Perks for being over 50

Omega — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:14:07 GMT

PRICELESS!

Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

CHINGFORD: Police raid nightmare neighbours' flat

redkite — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 10:30:43 GMT

www.guardian-series.co.uk - East London and West Essex Guardian Series - 26-Jul-2010

CHINGFORD: Police raid nightmare neighbours' flat

By Daniel Binns �

A GROUP of "neighbours from hell" have been evicted because of their anti-social behaviour.

Police and staff from Quadrant Housing Trust stormed their flat in Friars Close, Chingford, after obtaining a court order demanding they leave.

The problem tenants initially ignored the order, which was issued on Thursday July 15.
However when police arrived at the scene last week they discovered that the occupants had fled.

The flat has now be boarded up.

One neighbour, who did not wish to be named, said: "I feel like I have won the lottery now they have gone.

Read more

Jordan police stop lettuce demo

News — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 03:41:39 GMT

An animal rights protester clad in lettuce leaves to promote vegetarianism is detained by police in the Jordanian capital Amman.

Read More Quirkyness...

First woman for Grimethorpe band

News — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 09:27:58 GMT

The famous Grimethorpe Colliery Band is to field a female musician in competition for the first time in its 93-year history.

Read More Quirkyness...

Royal family opens Flickr account

News — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 09:27:58 GMT

Rare pictures of the Royal family are posted on the internet after Buckingham Palace opens a Flickr account.

Read More Quirkyness...

Bear takes car for short joy ride

News — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 09:27:58 GMT

A terrified bear goes for an unintended ride after climbing into an empty car in the US state of Colorado.

Read More Quirkyness...

The Middle Class in America Is Radically Shrinking. Here Are the Stats to Prove it

jrobertson — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 22:14:26 GMT

finance.yahoo.com - Tech Ticker, Yahoo! Finance - 24-Jul-2010

The Middle Class in America Is Radically Shrinking. Here Are the Stats to Prove it

From The Business Insider

Editor's note: Michael Snyder is editor of theeconomiccollapseblog.com
The 22 statistics detailed here prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the middle class is being systematically wiped out of existence in America.

The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer at a staggering rate. Once upon a time, the United States had the largest and most prosperous middle class in the history of the world, but now that is changing at a blinding pace.

So why are we witnessing such fundamental changes? Well, the globalism and "free trade" that our politicians and business leaders insisted would be so good for us have had some rather nasty side effects. It turns out that they didn't tell us that the "global economy" would mean that middle class American workers would eventually have to directly compete for jobs with people on the other side of the world where there is no minimum wage and very few regulations. The big global corporations have greatly benefited by exploiting third world labor pools over the last several decades, but middle class American workers have increasingly found things to be very tough.

Here are the statistics to prove it:

� 83 percent of all U.S. stocks are in the hands of 1 percent of the people.
� 61 percent of Americans "always or usually" live paycheck to paycheck, which was up from 49 percent in 2008 and 43 percent in 2007.
� 66 percent of the income growth between 2001 and 2007 went to the top 1% of all Americans.
� 36 percent of Americans say that they don't contribute anything to retirement savings.
� A staggering 43 percent of Americans have less than $10,000 saved up for retirement.
� 24 percent of American workers say that they have postponed their planned retirement age in the past year.
� Over 1.4 million Americans filed for personal bankruptcy in 2009, which represented a 32 percent increase over 2008.
� Only the top 5 percent of U.S. households have earned enough additional income to match the rise in housing costs since 1975.
� For the first time in U.S. history, banks own a greater share of residential housing net worth in the United States than all individual Americans put together.

Read more

Tell me this won't happen to us !!!!

Omega — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:59:47 GMT

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,
but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could
have sworn we just went through a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The
woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
had been red but was really concerned that she was losing
it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman
and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
both!'

Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, ********, am I driving?'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ ___

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts
her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The
94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come
up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses
'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is
sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I
never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then
yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as
I see who's at the door.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

__________________________________________________ ____________

'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,
'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in,
'So am I. Let's have a beer.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
__________________________________________________ _____________

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
nursing home.

As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and
say 'Supersex...'

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair..

Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.'

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered,

'I'll take the soup.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

__________________________________________________ _________

Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over
the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to
meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know
we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't
think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..

Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she
just stared and glared at her.

Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

__________________________________________________ ____________

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman,
'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

__________________________________________________ ____________

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report
that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she
explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've
stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and
even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said,
'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes
later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!

German chips 'to shrink' in heat

News — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:20:33 GMT

German potato lovers face short rations, farmers warn, as the current heat wave looks set to produce smaller spuds and diminutive chips.

Read More Quirkyness...

Scotland | Residents left fuming as council 'guts' infested flat

redkite — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 10:32:12 GMT

edinburghnews.scotsman.com - Edinburgh Evening News - 24-Jul-2010

Residents left fuming as council 'guts' infested flat

INFESTED: Reginald and Darren Cundy's flat was fumigated. Picture: DAN PHILLIPS

By RORY REYNOLDS

POLICE and environmental officers had to take "extreme action" to remove two tonnes of rubbish and filthy belongings from an Edinburgh flat in what council bosses have described as "one of the worst cases" of bed bugs ever seen.

The city council's pest control team gained a warrant to enter and fumigate the home of Reginald Cundy and his son, Darren, for public health reasons, following complaints from neighbours.

They found the entire property was infested with the creatures while the walls were covered in marks where they had been squashed. The team also had to dispose of electrical equipment that the bugs had nested in and tore up soiled carpets, leaving the entire flat bare.

The council today insisted the action was an "absolute necessity" to protect public health, but Mr Cundy has slammed the move and said nearly all of his possessions, including pictures of his parents and all of his clothes, had been destroyed.

Neighbours in the 1970s tenement block in Craigmillar Castle Loan said that they had been plagued by bed bugs for around two years.

Read more

Look out for goodies in hoodies!

pmt — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 10:10:54 GMT

http://www.thisisnorthdevon.co.uk/ne...l/article.html

By Supt Kevin Harris,Police Commander for North Devon
AT THIS moment in time with the new coalition Government and a great many of us focused on budget cuts and public sector restraints I felt it was time for a good news story. I really want to share with Journal readers the facts about how safe north Devon is across the board and highlight how fantastic the vast proportion of our youngsters are and the great things they do for themselves and the community.
Figures identify there are nearly 14,000 young people under the age of 19 in Torridge and almost 22,000 in North Devon District area. With a total resident population in the region of 165,000, young people under 19 years account for almost one fifth of us living in North Devon.
With recorded crime at its lowest level in five years and anti-social behaviour down by over 1,300 cases from the position last year I felt it was time to have a look at some of the reasons why. One of the primary reasons for me is the changing behaviour of our young people and their involvement in many and varied positive activities across North Devon.
Some of this is a result of initiatives from the State and partner agencies working closely to achieve goals for young people. A massive and equally important influence however, as you will read later, is due to volunteers across North Devon giving freely of their own time to develop our youngsters and give them opportunities to develop.

Firstly though, concentrating on statutory provision, the Children's Green Paper Every Child Matters (2003) identified five outcomes for children and young people as the necessary components of well-being and gave a clear purpose for closer co-operation between various agencies.
Being healthy; staying safe; enjoying and achieving; making a positive contribution and achieving economic well-being provided the new focus and have become central to the programme of change for all children from maternity to age 19, and up to age 25 for those with severe special educational needs
Devon and Cornwall Constabulary is committed to engaging with children and young people to ensure they have the opportunity to lead rewarding and productive lives. It is important to recognise that the majority of young people are not involved in crime or antisocial behaviour and are responsible, law-abiding citizens who make a positive contribution to their community.
A Youth Crime Review conducted by the police in 2007 identified that 23% of detected crimes were committed by young people. Nationally, statistics identify that young people aged 10-17 years commit 32% of recorded crime.
However, it is a minority of young people who become involved in crime and anti-social behaviour, which has a significant and often enduring impact on the quality of life within our communities.
Our Neighbourhood Policing Teams have identified that "young people hanging around" is still one of the highest public concerns around anti-social behaviour.
Our local PACT (Partners and Communities Together) community priorities relating to youth behaviour highlighted priorities for rowdiness, drunkenness and further street problems associated to children and young people. National statistics identify that 60% of anti-social behaviour is attributed to young people aged ten-17 years and 50% of all victims of recorded crime are aged under 18 years.
I must reiterate that the majority of our young people are not involved in crime or anti-social behaviour but are responsible, law-abiding and make a positive contribution to their community.
It is important for the police service, local authorities and other agencies to recognise that there is a 'perception dynamic' working across the generations here. What appears to be an anti-social gathering to some is actually youngsters sticking together for safety and companionship.
As I said, your neighbourhood policing teams, through local PACT consultation processes, have identified that "young people hanging around" is still one of the highest public concerns around anti-social behaviour. In some cases this may reflect anti-social acts, in many others it can be mistrust within communities or between generations that drives fear. Both must be addressed.
In some cases young people are doing exactly what parents and guardians have told them and that is to stick with your friends as a security and safety plan. So, being in a group 'hanging' around is the safest place to be.
To strike the right balance crime and anti-social behaviour must be tackled, not tolerated. The Constabulary and our partners will address such behaviour through the effective application of the youth strategy and associated youth justice policies.
Police officers and Police Community Support Officers (PCSOs) are frequently the first point of contact with families and young people in what can often be traumatic situations and therefore, have a crucial role in the early identification of those children with additional needs not currently met by universal service provision.
A huge amount of this work is undertaken by your neighbourhood policing teams with local authorities and other partners.
In many cases this activity is led by our excellent PCSOs, who engage with children and young people as part of their community in order to build and maintain positive relationships between young people and the police.
We have found there is a disproportionate fear of crime among the wider population and a large majority of this fear is associated with youth crime. Surveys identify that the public believe that 43% of crime is committed by children and young people. The reality is that locally the figure is 15%.
The Play England strategy outlines how we target those who are at risk of offending or re-offending and, with partners, put plans in place to support them in not offending and prevent them from continuing in a life of crime. The strategy steers neighbourhood and youth resources towards children and young persons whose circumstances or behaviour is having a detrimental effect upon their own development or the quality of life of those around them.
Good play and recreational facilities can contribute to a reduction in crime and anti-social behaviour and help build communities and tackle social exclusion.
From personal experience outside of my working role in North Devon, I am aware of vast numbers of youngsters in fantastic clubs, societies and groups across our area.
There are four surf life-saving clubs with about 800 young people as active members. If you go to any of our main beaches on club nights or during competition the sheer numbers of them racing around and learning skills to prepare them for future life and protecting their fellow human beings is staggering � they all wear hoodies!
The Scouting movement across North Devon is strong and the commissioners for Torridge and North Devon have over 1,000 young people on their books with more than 100 youngsters on waiting lists as there are just not sufficient adult volunteers to maintain the groups and feed the appetite our youngsters have for the exciting life skills and activities the Scouts get up to � they all wear hoodies!
There are similar numbers of Rainbows, Brownies and Guides doing similar things who include hoodies as an item of uniform.
Our rugby clubs are absolutely teeming with hundreds of budding Johnnies and Jonnos all getting filthy dirty and having a great time without breaking anything or anyone (mostly) � they all wear hoodies!
At the same time there are perhaps even more youngsters playing soccer to varying degrees across the region. All of them out in the fresh air competing and developing as individuals without stealing, fighting, being anti-social and vandalising buildings or property.
In the next field there are young golfers under instruction learning etiquette and lifelong skills for developing into skilful, considerate human beings with a sense of competition against themselves and the challenge of the course.
Add to these the huge numbers who use our athletics track, swimming pools, tennis centres, belong to Sea Cadets, Army Cadets, Air Training Corps and St John Ambulance groups.
What strikes me most about all of these activities is the huge investment of time and energy by the comparatively small number of adult volunteers who give their time and effort often at great personal cost to see the army of youngsters grow and improve as tomorrow's generation to look after us all in old age. Most of the adults in a lot of these arenas also wear hoodies and I have a couple myself!!
As Police Commander for North Devon the magistrates bench has asked me why there are so few cases for the youth bench these days.
I am quite proud to tell them how in North Devon we have one of the lowest 'first time entries' into the criminal justice system for youngsters in the South West.
The Devon and Cornwall police strategy and I personally recognise that the majority of young people are not involved in crime or anti-social behaviour but are responsible law-abiding citizens who make a positive contribution within their communities.
So, when you are next out and about just spot how many goodies wear hoodies!

Satellite spies vast algal bloom

News — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 17:00:46 GMT

A satellite image reveals the scale of a vast algal bloom, described as the size of Germany, spreading across the Baltic Sea.

Read More Quirkyness...

Scotland | Town in shock after woman, 60, is stabbed to death on her doorstep

redkite — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 09:34:45 GMT

news.scotsman.com - NEWS.scotsman.com - 23-Jul-2010

Town in shock after woman, 60, is stabbed to death on her doorstep

By Craig Brown

A GRANDMOTHER was stabbed to death on her doorstep after apparently going out to investigate a disturbance in the middle of the night.

Margaret Burke, 60, was woken by loud noises just before 4am yesterday, but was attacked when she went outside.

Police and ambulance crews were called to the scene and found her lying injured in the garden of her terraced home in Blantyre, Lanarkshire.

The pensioner was taken to Hairmyres Hospital in East Kilbride, but died a short time later.

Neighbours said the divorced mother of five was trying to calm down a man who was outside her house in Parkville Drive with a knife.

The murder has shocked residents in the town, which has been plagued by antisocial behaviour in recent months.

Read more

Roman coin find declared treasure

News — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 14:30:06 GMT

A coroner declares a hoard of nearly 53,000 Roman coins discovered in a Somerset field is treasure.

Read More Quirkyness...

Animal beer containers 'perverse'

News — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 14:30:06 GMT

A beer served in bottles made from stuffed animals is criticised as "perverse" and "pushing the boundaries of acceptability".

Read More Quirkyness...

Second henge found at Stonehenge

News — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 14:30:06 GMT

Archaeologists discover a second henge at Stonehenge, described as the most exciting find at the site in 50 years.

Read More Quirkyness...

Scotland | Fire crews under attack as they fight old school blaze

redkite — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 11:37:44 GMT

edinburghnews.scotsman.com - Edinburgh Evening News - 22-Jul-2010

Fire crews under attack as they fight old school blaze

SUSPICIOUS: Flames take hold of the disused Craigroyston Community High School. Picture: TOBY WILLIAMS

By GEMMA FRASER

FIRE crews came under attack as they battled a massive blaze at a disused city high school last night.

Police are investigating after eight lengths of hose were slashed as firefighters tried to put out the fire, which is being treated as suspicious, at the old Craigroyston Community High School on Pennywell Road, which broke out at 8.30pm.

A fire officer's car tyre was also slashed during the incident.

The old building, which has been empty since pupils moved into the new school last summer, was engulfed in 30ft flames as the fire took hold.

Asbestos was discovered on the site back in 2007 by contractors employed to clear the site, sparking further fears about the fire.

It took more than 50 firefighters three-and-a-half hours to get the fire under control, with eight fire engines and two height appliances used by crews, while the police and ambulance service were also in attendance.

Fire investigators are trying to establish the cause of the blaze and crews were still at the scene this morning.

Eyewitness Michael Lindsay, who lives on Muirhouse Terrace, said: "I was sitting in my house and had the windows open and I could smell the smoke. I looked outside and I could see the smoke piling out of the building.

"There were no flames at first, but then it became engulfed and the flames were about 30ft high over the old science block. Lots of locals came out to watch."

Another local resident, Alistair McPhail, 48, said battling the fire was "like trying to hold back the tide because the flames were shooting right up past the roof".

Read more

Have you got gymnophobia? That's a fear of nudity - one of our top ten most bizarre..

Omega — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 11:25:38 GMT

Only posted this in this section as don't know where else it would fit :unsure:

Read on there's more that you probably did not know :) and also other interesting facts ..

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...e-phobias.html

There is also Ten unusual uses for Coca-Cola - stopped drinking that now!!!!

However, I now know that I suffer with:

8. Taphophobia. Fear of being buried alive

Didn't know it had a name tag!!! I hate the bit in Kill Bill where she is buried alive and I have to look away with my fingers in my ears so I don't hear anything until Mr O says its "ok now"!!!! :cry:

Does anyone else have phobias?

This is just so bizarre - poor sparrow

Omega — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 11:10:22 GMT

This poor little sparrow has it's work cut out bless it ....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...imes-size.html

The Firetruck

Omega — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 11:05:50 GMT

If you don't laugh at this one, you're not breathing.

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.

'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration... 'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles..

'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.'

The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'

Parasailing donkey stunt sparks police inquiry

pmt — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 21:14:40 GMT

20 July 2010 Last updated at 16:35
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-10695037

Sick,sick:angry::angry::angry::angry: PMT

The move was intended as an advertising campaign
Police in southern Russia are investigating allegations of animal cruelty after a donkey was made to parasail as part of an advertising stunt, Russian media report.
The donkey was sent up into the sky last week by entrepreneurs hoping to attract people to their private beach.
Witnesses near the beach on the Sea of Azov in the Krasnodar region said the animal had been screaming in fear.
It landed in the water and was pulled onto the shore, said police.
"The donkey screamed and children cried," regional police spokeswoman Larisa Tuchkova told the AFP news agency.
"No-one had the brains to call police."
Instead, bystanders took photos and phoned newspapers, she said.
"It was put up so high into the sky that the children on the beach cried and asked their parents: 'Why did they tie a doggy to a parachute?'" Taman newspaper reported last week.
"The donkey landed in an atrocious manner: it was dragged several metres along the water, after which the animal was pulled out half-alive onto the shore," the paper reported.
Police began to investigate after the incident, which occurred at the coastal village of Golubitskaya, was aired on national news on Tuesday.
The businessmen responsible may face criminal charges for animal cruelty, according to news agency RIA-Novosti.
The stunt was condemned by the Brooke equine welfare charity, whose president is the Duchess of Cornwall.
"The Brooke is appalled at the cruel and irresponsible behaviour of the people behind this 'advertising' campaign," said Kimberly Wells, an equine welfare advisor.
"There was clearly no thought for this animal's welfare before they strapped it into a parachute, sending it catapulting into the sky.
"This animal would have been extremely distressed, suffering immeasurable fear and pain. This should never have happened

Woman that played rude song loudly at neighbour given Asbo

redkite — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 11:27:04 GMT

www.mirror.co.uk - mirror.co.uk - 21-Jul-2010

Woman that played rude song loudly at neighbour given Asbo

A judge yesterday slapped a five-year Asbo on a woman who blasted her neighbour with a rude song.

Alice Dondera, 49, played the Smokie/Roy "Chubby" Brown hit Living Next Door To Alice (Who the F*** is Alice?) at piercing volume.

Dondera had already been given an Asbo because of her behaviour towards neighbours but three days later the song was pounding through Deborah Kay's walls at 8am.

Recorder Charles Fox told Dondera at Cardiff crown court: "Whatever you think of neighbours, your behaviour was indefensible. It must be absolutely shocking living next door to you when you start ranting and raving and playing music loudly."

Dondera, of Penarth, South Glamorgan, was sentenced to eight months' jail, suspended for a year after admitting breaching her Asbo.

David Maunder, defending, said: "There has been bad feeling on both sides."

Car hoisted to paint yellow lines - then driver gets parking ticket

pmt — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 21:50:37 GMT

http://menmedia.co.uk/manchestereven...parking_ticket

Dean Kirby
July 20, 2010
Share Article| Submit Comments | Comments (48) | Printable Version Previous | Next

1/1 Play Slideshow

Close Map
Sally's Peugeot parked on Little Quay Street before the lines were placed underneath it - click on 'View gallery' for more ...

Workmen were so determined to put down double yellow lines that they hoisted a woman�s car into the air and painted them underneath. They then replaced the vehicle the other way round � complete with a parking ticket.
Sally Baker left her Peugeot 206cc on Little Quay Street in Manchester city centre because the road had unrestricted parking.
But when she got back she found the vehicle was facing the other way with double yellows underneath.
The fine was removed after the M.E.N challenged the workmen. It was replaced by a note saying: "Your car has been repositioned by the council."
At least two other cars � a BMW and a Mini � were also lifted up by a truck as the lines were painted on Little Quay Street and Atkinson Street, just off Deansgate.
Sally, a 39-year-old accountant from Urmston, said: "I parked on Little Quay Street having looked carefully for any parking restrictions in place.
"To find out that the council moved my car, without my permission and then placed it on to double yellow lines they had just painted is disgraceful.
"I suggest they close the road prior to putting the restrictions in place."
A parking attendant told an M.E.N photographer the ticket was put on as a �formality� and did not mean she would get a fine. He then removed it and replaced it with the note.
A witness said: "There were no lines on the road when people parked their cars. Then the workmen started painting.
"They painted up to the car and then lifted it up and painted underneath it."
Tim Cowan, from NSL, which runs parking enforcement in the city, said a ticket was put on the car and then declared void to put a �warning� in the system. He said this was to ensure the �relocated vehicle� did not get another ticket.
He added: "There have been occasions elsewhere in the country where relocated vehicles have accidentally received penalty charge notices. This has never happened in Manchester thanks to this system."
But Rachel Christie, head of street management and enforcement at Manchester council, said: "We have instructed the contractor to stop issuing tickets in these circumstances

A Teacher's nightmare

pmt — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 14:34:27 GMT

: A Teacher's nightmare.

Warning could offend some people ,for the rest get you minds out of the gutter PMT

You MUST read this brief story before viewing the photo below.
A class of primary children started a class project to make a plant pot to take home. The teacher wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so it was decided to use cactus plants.
The children were given greenware pottery in the style of a clown plant pot. They painted them with glaze and had them professionally fired at a class outing so they could see the process.
It was great fun. They planted the cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew nicely.
Unfortunately, however, they were not allowed to take them home.
The cactus plants were removed, replaced with a small ivy, and the children were then allowed to take them home.
The teacher said cactus seemed like a good idea at the time...

Here's a few laughs to perhaps brighten someones day ...

Omega — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 11:38:05 GMT

Firstly before I copy and paste the jokes etc - I have just noticed that I seem to be the only one at the moment posting in the "happy zone" :whistle: just want to say that I don't spend all my time reading jokes and pasting them on here :lol: but I seem to be getting a lot of fun emails just recently ;)

Ok here goes:

(1)

A new supermarket opened at Perth, WA. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk shelves, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

(2)

THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, 'OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.'

(3)

These are Tommy Cooper Jokes probably heard them before but still worth their weight in gold for a good laugh IMO

1 . Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
'No, the steaks are too high.'

6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

7 . A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.

8. I went to a seafood disco last week.and pulled a muscle.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'

12. 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. '
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'

13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy'

14. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom.'
'How's that?'
'Don't you start.'

15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17.. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?'
I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it..'

18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat **************!'

20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

21. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'

22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said, 'Well don't go to those places anymore'

23.. Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Sidney clinches snail world title

News — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 22:12:37 GMT

Sidney the snail hits a top speed of 0.003mph to take the world championship defeating all-comers in Norfolk.

Read More Quirkyness...

Rare primate on camera in S Lanka

News — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 22:12:37 GMT

Researchers working in Sri Lanka take the first known photograph of a rare primate which was feared extinct.

Read More Quirkyness...

Model of supersonic car unveiled

News — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 22:12:37 GMT

The British team hoping to drive a car faster than 1,000mph unveils a full-scale model of the vehicle at the Farnborough air show.

Read More Quirkyness...

'Age lie' beauty queen wins again

News — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 22:12:37 GMT

A woman stripped of the Miss Cornwall title for lying wins a beauty queen contest in Devon.

Read More Quirkyness...

Hard-up owners dump �1,500 pooches at dogs' home

pmt — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 17:40:19 GMT

http://menmedia.co.uk/manchestereven...s_at_dogs_home

Lisa Roland
July 19, 2010
Share Article| Submit Comments | Comments (15) | Printable Version Previous | Next

1/1 Play Slideshow

Close Map
Chinese Crested dogs Jeffrey and Rio with kennel hand Iwona Skrzynska

A dogs' home has seen a surge in the number of rare breeds being handed in � because of the recession.
Staff at Manchester Dogs� Home in Harpuhey say pedigree breeds handed over in recent weeks include Huskies, Malamoutes and Shar Pei dogs.
Kennel workers have also been attending to the every need of five rare Chinese Crested dogs, which sell for up to �1,500 each. Three pedigree and five crossbreed Shar Pei dogs, distinctive because of their wrinkly skin, have also been handed over to the centre on Moss Brook Road.
Manager Lisa Graham said: �We�ve certainly noticed more exotic dogs brought in recently � expensive pedigrees we haven�t seen in the past. We can only assume the recession is starting to affect dog owners who until now were able to afford these expensive dogs and their upkeep.�
All the Chinese Crested dogs, have now been found new owners familiar with the breed.
Because they are mostly bald, the pampered pooches need to wear pyjamas at night and have regular baths to protect their delicate skin.
Lisa said that she had fallen for the unusual looks of Chinese Crested dog Jeffrey and had adopted him herself.
Another of the five, Rio, will soon be travelling down south to live with his new family.
Lisa said: �They have not been up for general adoption because they have very high needs.
�Jeffrey has to come to work with me or his world falls apart if he is left alone.
�He has to wear pyjamas at night and have baths to exfoliate and moisturise his skin, which is very similar to a human�s.
�I think they�re fabulous but they get a very strong reaction from people � they either adore them or just won�t touch them!�
One of the Shar Pei dogs looking for a new home is Little Boy. He needs a home without children or other dogs. Lisa said: �He is great with humans, but not other dogs, and we would like to rehome him with someone who knows the breed.�
To find out more about adopting Little Boy or any other dog, call Manchester Dogs� Home on 0871 918 1212

Thieves tear down war memorial

pmt — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 17:32:42 GMT

:angry::angry::angry::angry::angry: Words fail me..PMT

http://menmedia.co.uk/manchestereven..._for_s********

July 18, 2010
Share Article| Submit Comments | Comments (107) | Printable Version Previous | Next

1/1 Play Slideshow

Close Map
The war memorial at Boggart Hole Clough, Blackley, Manchester, with the missing bronze plaques, stolen by thieves for s********

Sick thieves have torn down memorials honouring scores of soldiers who lost their lives for their country in World War One – to sell them as s.********.
The two “priceless” bronze plaques were wrenched from a stone monument at Boggart Hole Clough, in Blackley, north Manchester.
They are inscribed with the names of 215 soldiers from the area who went abroad to serve in the 1914-18 war and never returned home.
It is believed that thieves stole the plaques, which have stood at the Angel memorial for nearly 90 years, to sell them for their s.******** value of around �150.

The theft was condemned as “appalling” by war veterans and community leaders who appealed to the thieves to search their consciences and return the plaques.
Pauline Brewster, former secretary of Higher Blackley Royal British Legion said: “I think it's absolutely disgusting. It's terrible that anyone should deface anything like this.”
Councillor Joanne Green said: “You think you have seen the most shocking things in life, but this is the most shocking thing I have seen in the area for years. The plaques show the names of local people who gave their lives, and this kind of memorial is priceless.”
Councillor Mike Amesbury added: “I am appalled at this mindless act of vandalism and at the utter disregard that has been shown for those who gave their lives for our freedom.
“This behaviour is completely unacceptable and we are taking it very seriously.”
Despicable
Bernard McGee, of the War Graves Commission, said it would cost many thousands of pounds to create replica plaques to go in the place.
He said: “It's absolutely despicable when this happens and we deplore the actions of those responsible. I sincerely hope that the police appeal will help catch them.”
There are three plaques in total at the memorial, carrying the names of 341 men from Blackley who died in the Great War after serving with the Manchester Regiment, the Machine Gun Corps and the Royal Army Service Corps.
The thieves chipped away the stone frame around two of the plaques before pulling them away. Because of the work involved in removing the plaques, it is not thought that their removal was an act of vandalism.
The plaques have stood proudly in the park since 1921, after the money for the memorial was raised through donations from relatives and the grateful people of Blackley.
A further �30,000 was spent on restoration work on the site in 2006.
Charlestown councillor Basil Curley said: "This monument was built after a door to door collection, where the people of Blackley gave what money they could in hard times. It's completely outrageous that someone would do something like this. "
In November 2008, thieves stole five bronze plaques from Philips Park in Bradford, east Manchester days before Remembrance Sunday.
They were never recovered and were eventually replaced at a cost of �10,000 in October last year.
If you have information about the plaque theft in Boggart Hole Clough, contact Greater Manchester Police on 0161 8725050, or you can contact Crimestoppers, anonymously, on 0800 555111

Re-Burial of WW1 Australian Soliders (AIF) at Fromelles

Isis — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 11:03:46 GMT

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-10680154

Re-burial takes place today of fallen WW1 Australian Soliders at Fromells.

The ANZAC Dedication: For the Fallen
by Laurence Binyon

They shall not grow old,
As we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them,
Nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun,
And in the morning,
We will remember them.
We will remember them.

Attached Images

images.jpeg (2.9 KB)

'World's oldest champagne' found

News — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 10:11:50 GMT

Swedish divers find 30 bottles of champagne in a shipwreck believed to date from before the French Revolution in 1789.

Read More Quirkyness...

German motorway hosts huge party

News — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 10:11:50 GMT

Cities in the German Ruhr area throw a huge party on the region's busiest motorway after closing it to normal traffic

Read More Quirkyness...

Hidden Kafka papers to be viewed

News — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 10:11:50 GMT

Safe deposit boxes believed to contain manuscripts and drawings by the late author Franz Kafka are due to be opened at a bank in Zurich.

Read More Quirkyness...

Man attacked neighbour in Orford

redkite — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:26:38 GMT

www.warringtonguardian.co.uk - Warrington Guardian - 19-Jul-2010

nfh age: 34; nfh sex: male
location: Windermere Avenue, Orford; map view
tags: drunk, attacked, kicked, door, paedophile

Man attacked neighbour in Orford

A DRUNK who sang so loudly people complained called his neighbour a paedophile after being challenged by him, a court heard. Defendant Alan Wood then tried to kick the door in of Paul Roe, who lived in the flat below him on Windermere Avenue, Orford.

Warrington Magistrates Court heard on Thursday how Wood, aged 34, had been drinking all day after the England World Cup match on June 23.

Wood�s friend had brought 30 cans of lager to the defendant�s property before later leaving. Woods, however, continued to drink before being interrupted by Mr Roe who arrived to complain about the how loud the defendant was singing and playing music.

Mr Roe realised that Wood was intoxicated and made to leave, according to Rob Youd, prosecuting.

But the defendant became aggressive and called his neighbour a paedophile before threatening him.

�Mr Roe went to complain to the defendant,� said Mr Youd.

�He called him a paedophile and told him �I�m going to get you�.

�He then went nose to nose with Mr Roe.�

The court heard how officers were called to Windermere Avenue because Wood was trying to kick in the front door of his victim�s property.

He then swore at police and made a rude gesture, according to Mr Youd.

Defending, Tammy Mitchell said that Wood admitted to having a drink problem but could not remember attacking the door.

She said: �He has used words that were inappropriate but has no recollection of going down to the victim�s property.

�He has issues with drink which inflamed the situation.�

Magistrates adjourned the hearing so that a pre-sentence report can be compiled, assessing how intensive Wood�s alcohol treatment programme needs to be.

He will be sentenced next month.

Great Torrington (devon) cavaliers castle bonfire

pmt — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 10:49:08 GMT

http://www.torrington-cavaliers.co.uk/node/493
http://www.torrington-cavaliers.co.uk/Bonfire_2010

All done for Charity

50-mile diversion for drivers during town's roadworks

pmt — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 21:33:09 GMT

http://www.thisisnorthdevon.co.uk/ne...l/article.html

DIVERSION: Motorists will be unable to drive through the centre of Torrington for three weeks.

A DIVERSION of nearly 50 miles will be set up for three weeks while one mile of a Torrington road is closed.
Drivers wanting to go down New Street on the A386 between Limers Hill and Whites Lane during September will instead be directed via Hatherleigh, Holsworthy and Landcross near Bideford.
Phil Roseweare from Devon County Council's engineering design group wrote to Torrington Town Council about the closure.
The news of the diversion met with laughter and disbelief at the town council meeting.

Councillor Andy Boyd, who sits on both Torrington and Devon County councils described it as a "bombshell".
He said: "This is something that has to be dealt with very rapidly."
During the first week of closure Western Power Distribution will complete their programme of cable underground while the council undertake drainage and highway works.
These highway works are being are being paid for by Lidl, who are building a new store in New Street.
Following this work the council will spend two weeks strengthening and resurfacing the road.
In his letter Mr Roseweare states: "As part of the ongoing programme for investment into A class roads, the council will be starting work (on the road) from Monday, September 13, 2010 for approximately three weeks.
"The work will extend between the two junctions with large sections of the road being strengthened before the whole length is given a new service.
"A diversion will be put in place for this period diverting traffic via Holsworthy and Hatherleigh to cater for large vehicles.
"In a scheme of this magnitude there has to be a certain amount of delay and disruption and I apologise for this in advance

Are you and your tyres ready for 2012?

pmt — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 21:21:57 GMT

Are you and your tyres ready for 2012?

http://uk.autoblog.com/2010/07/16/ar...eady-for-2012/
posted Jul 2010 by David Hobbs
Filed under: Government/Legal, News

The countdown to 2012 is well underway but who is actually ready for it?

No, we're not talking Olympics but an event that will still affect many people in the UK, particularly those with a keen interest in rubber.

From November 2012, a new law from the EU compels all new tyres sold to carry information that grades wet braking, rolling resistance and noise levels, using a picture system similar to that already used when buying electrical equipment such as fridges.
Tyre manufacturers will have to ensure the information is supplied with every new tyre that leaves the factory while retailers will also have to make sure the customer is shown the information before sale.

So, why is this such a big deal? Well, with the new grading system comes higher standards that could mean many tyres currently on sale and at the bottom end of the market, particularly those from China, will become illegal overnight. Upgrading tyres will inevitably cost the consumer money initially although in the long run, cash might be saved.

Companies such as Continental and Bridgestone and retailers are already raising awareness but many consumers are unaware of the impact that different tyres can have on fuel bills as well as the environment. With the new labelling system it is expected that the use of more fuel efficient rubber will increase considerably; that in itself will be a major contributory factor in reducing Co2 emissions while lowering fuel consumption and costs will always bring a smile to the face of motorists.

But what do those in the industry think of the proposals? Mike Welch, the founder of online tyre retailer, BlackCircles.com, believes the new regulation will be 'extremely beneficial' for customers and should have been introduced a long time ago.

"As well as giving the customer more information � and therefore making them much more confident in their purchases � I believe the new labels will be extremely important in helping the EU in its quest to drastically lower Co2 emissions and noise levels," Welch added.

"Once the customers are able to clearly see which tyres are the most eco-friendly, I feel that we'll see a steady increase in the standard and efficiency of tyres on the market. The tyres which do not grade well on important issues like wet grip, fuel efficiency and noise levels will be gradually phased out, thanks to a reduction in demand."

Daksh Gupta, chief executive of one of the country's biggest dealer networks, Marshall Motor Group, was also in favour.

'I think it will be good for consumers as it will give them a choice to make an educated decision on what they spend their money on as well as raise the awareness of why having high quality tyres is important," he said.

"As a result of this consumer awareness I am sure it will help dealer tyre sales who are often perceived to be more expensive than independent tyre sales outlets."

That's not a view shared by all though. One used car dealer from the north-west was naturally concerned about profits.

"Used car buyers already want the very best when they come into the showroom," he commented. "These tyre regulations will mean they'll simply demand rubber with these markings on used cars. This squeezes profit, so we have to either put used car prices up to compensate or swallow the cost. The latter is hard to do - especially in these current times."

Curry Stain

Isis — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 14:37:11 GMT

Does anyone have any ideas on how to get out a dried in curry stain on a pale blue polo shirt,:frown: I have put it through the washing machine, I also put neat liquid on the stain and left it for about 1 hr and then soaked in more liquid for about 2 hours and it has still not come out,:blink: any suggestions.
Thanks
Isis :badmood:

Young dad scarred for life after vicious park attack

redkite — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 13:45:08 GMT

edinburghnews.scotsman.com - Edinburgh Evening News - 17-Jul-2010

Young dad scarred for life after vicious park attack

SCENE: West Pilton Park

By MICHAEL MacLEOD

A FATHER has been left with a ten-centimetre scar across his face after being slashed with a knife by muggers who pounced on him as he walked home from his sister's house in the Capital.

Alexander DeVries was taking a shortcut through West Pilton Park when he was beaten to the ground by two men, who then took a blade to his face.

The 34-year-old handyman was left in agony following the attack and believes he will now be scarred for life.

The knife assault came just hours before Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill launched a high-profile blade crackdown in the north of the Capital, an area which now accounts for one-third of all such incidents in the city.

Read more

West Cumbria feud man threw hammer at neighbour

redkite — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 09:52:03 GMT

www.newsandstar.co.uk - News & Star- 17-Jul-2010

nfh age: 31; nfh sex: male
location: Station Road, Workington; map view
tags: hammer, weapon, jail, drugs, feud

West Cumbria feud man threw hammer at neighbour

By Staff Reporter

A FEUD between next-door neighbours on a Workington street erupted when one threw a claw hammer at the other after being threatened with a crowbar, a court has heard.

William Mark Jardine, 31, went round to the home of Kevin Jones, in Station Road, to confront him over the threat, saying he was sick of his behaviour.

Once there � as he admitted to the police later � he �completely lost the plot�.

Read more

Mexico offers free gay honeymoon

News — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 01:07:44 GMT

Mexico City has invited the first Argentinian gay couple to marry under a new law to spend their honeymoon in Mexico with all expenses paid.

Read More Quirkyness...

Rescue passengers perform karaoke

News — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 12:51:32 GMT

Passengers on a pleasure cruiser sing karaoke while waiting to be rescued from the River Tyne when the vessel breaks down.

Read More Quirkyness...

California mooners in track show

News — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 12:51:32 GMT

An annual event in southern Californian attracts up to 10,000 people who drop their trousers at passing Amtrak trains.

Read More Quirkyness...

'Psychic octopus' Paul to retire

News — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 12:51:32 GMT

Germany's so-called psychic octopus is to retire from making predictions following his World Cup success, his owners say.

Read More Quirkyness...

Study probes effects of exercise

News — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 12:51:32 GMT

Scientists are to use computer games technology to investigate the effects of intensive football training on bone growth.

Read More Quirkyness...