Smacking laws

[goosegirl]

Hi everyone,

I've just seen the stuff about Children and the Smacking laws. I dont have children of my own, but I think things are getting a bit wacky.

It says moderate smacking. Not making the skin redden or bruise. Dont some people bruise more easly than others?

I think that if my child ran across the road, or hurt the family pet for fun, I would give the child a smack. Your average person knows the differance between a small quick smacking and landing their kid in casualty.

Smacking never did me any harm when I was young. I never behaved the way kids do today.

The lords threw out a total ban on smacking.

I dont think making up laws for kids to stick to works, because when you are young its natural to try and break them. The parents are not going to dob their kids in, the kids know this so carry on. If anyone in the street tells them not to do some thing they always say they will tell the parents you hit them.

What do you all think to the laws?

GG.

[Bonkers Mad!!!]

i have 2 children, 10 and 15. the eldest is too big for a smack now but boy did he get some when he was younger. like u say, most ppl know the difference between a smack and a beating and obviously its wrong to give anybody a beating. i'd like to know how they'd enforce an all out ban anyway. there's too much pandering to children these days. i was wrapped over the knuckles at school (live by the ruler, die by the ruler) and even had my leg slapped in P.E once. i told my mum about the leg slap and she went to see the supply teacher who had done it. i remember standing outside the classroom with my mates while my mum was talking to the teacher. when she came out of the room i cockily said, "u were supposed to be telling her, not laughing with her." my mum whacked me so hard she almost lifted me off my feet :blink: :bigeyes:
thats what u get for being rude :hihi:

[Eeyore]

I got smacked when I was little, if I misbehaved or acted up, and it did me no harm, I learned respect for people, property, good manners (I hope) and good behaviour. :rolleyes:

Used to be terrified if my dad said he was going to smack me, rarely happened, but the threat put the fear of God into me! ;) But I don't hate my folks for it, it was part of growing up, part of learning, part of childhood.

I wasn't abused, I wasn't punched, I got a good slap over the backside or back of my legs. :o Then it was up to my room. :cry:

I worry now because I see and hear so many unruly kids with "I know my rights" this that and the other, and IMO this could potentially get worse, with lack of discipline in schools and possibly in the home too. ;)

We had the threat of caning when I was at school. Never got caned, don't know anyone who did, but the ultimate threat was there. Now the threat is more "you get excluded" - I've heard kids enjoy this because it's time off school, and its a nightmare for their parents who have to work, because the child is off school. :o

[freakyfun]

I wish the law had made a total ban on smacking ages ago - mainly because we used to observe our NFH giving his young (3-4 yo) children smacks all the time - we could have dobbed him in to the police - that would have showed him.

If a partial ban on smacking comes into force, it will be an offence against a child. Currently people convicted of offences against children are treated *very* differently to other offenders - will a convicted parent be banned from working with children for life? Will they have restricted access to their kids by social services (no smoke without fire policy)? Will they have to declare the conviction when applying for a job/ joining the local sports club, or any other organisation that now vets the criminal records of potential members? Will they be listed as a schedule one offender (violent and sexual offences - and as such monitored for life by the SS whenever they move to a new area)? Will the conviction and social services investigation be recorded on the childs medical records until they are 21? Will doctors and nurses be calling social services and the police every time the child falls down and grazes a knee? Will parents stop seeking medical attention for their child because of this?

Personally, I have never smacked my daughter, and I never will - I may very rarely raise my voice, and because I rarely do it, it has the desired effect. I have no objection to a parent giving a child (who really will not co-operate at all) a smack across the back of the legs, as long as it is a rare occurance (I can only remember being smacked once by my Dad, and that was for deliberately breaking a window in his greenhouse - fair cop)

Big 'ol can of worms about to be opened IMHO.

FF

[Annabel]

I tend to think that smacking kids is fundamentally wrong, because it shows you, as the parent, have not got control of the situation and have had to resort to violence to assert your will.

i got smacked quite a few times when i was a kid, and not all times was my mother justified in doing so. not that it did me any lasting harm, but sometimes it wasnt needed. when i got older she started playing mind games with me instead, and that was a lot more hurtful for me.

However, I have smacked my daughter on many occasions, so I am no angel, or model parent , not by any means. I think kids can drive you nuts and if you are under pressure or feeling totally stressed, and your kids starts playing up,. a quick smack is sometimes the only quick solution to a problem. For example if your kid is throwing a wobbly in a shop - all the childcare experts say, you should ignore the behaviour , as the kid is simply seeking attention....now just how do you do that when everyone is looking daggers at you and tut tutting away??? hands up everyone who has seen a kid screaming its nut off in a supermarket and thought 'why dont those parents shut that bl**dy kid up?'

and like goosegirl said...if you saw your kid tormenting another child or an animal, for fun, would you not give him a smack to teach him the consequences of his behaviour? isnt that better than playing mind games such as sitting them on the 'naughty chair' or putting them in a 'time out' room...

I think legislators would do better to focus their attentions on dealing with childabusers, paedophiles and social services who fail time and again to protect children rather than undermining parents confidence in deciding how best to discipline their kids. i think most parents would prefer the government to be doing things to support the family, such as increasing affordable childcare provision rather than pandering to PC, once again....

end of rant!!!!

[freakyfun]

I think legislators would do better to focus their attentions on dealing with childabusers, paedophiles and social services

Not all child abusers are paedophiles. And not all paedophiles are child abusers.
Most abusers are relatives, not the bloke down the road.

I think that the government is right in going for the partial ban. 'Reasonable chastisement' dates from the Victorian era and can be interpreted as allowing physical injury, not a particularly good thing. Having a line over which parents must not step can only be good. Perhaps some parents will have to seek better ways of disiplining their children, and learn something in the process

FF

[-P-]

No only do i agree with parents smacking children (i'm talking about back of the legs or backside) but i also think that school teachers should be allowed to give the cane (no more than 2 strokes) when the child is running amok and simply out of control.

[Eskander]

I think it would be a mistake to confuse a debate about smacking with the different issue of the treatment of paedophiles.

On smacking I think Annabel hit [sorry] on the central issue when she said "so I am no angel, or model parent" Not many of us are. If we were in an ideal world then sure - smacking would not happen and there would be no need for it.

I think this partial ban approach is an attempt to catch those parents who subject their children to excessive punishment - physical abuse whilst not making criminal out of those who occassionally resort to a smack on the leg.

I also think that children and parents are very different. Some parents will never feel the need to smack but that says as much about their children as about them.

[Bird Woman]

to me locking them in a darkened cupboard/room/whatever amounts to abuse far more than a smack.

this is what i wrote on another board with regards to smacking.


dont know about you but i was given a smack if i misbehaved.

i totally understrand there is a fine line between a smack and a wallop but who the f*** do the governmen t and the nanny state think they are trying to bring in an all out ban.

i say we should be allowed to smack our kids. what you gonna do if little johnny pokes a fork in the electric plug sockt? smack him or sit back and say "no dear".????? and watch him fry?

i got smacked if i was naughty and ive grown up ok. IMHO kids who dont get smacked are cheeky little blighters who will get more than a smacking one day of one of their own kind/generation. they have no respect for startes.

whatever happens, if smacking does get banned totally i'll still smack mine. simple. no ones gonna preach to me on how to bring up my kids



a friend of mine said this
One of the problems with vested interests is that they are perpetuated. Once a human rights group bans smacking, they will not give up and get other jobs, they will move the goalposts once more. We see this time and time again - now that smoking is about to be banned, the pressure groups are moving into 'fat taxes' and obesity.

another said
Oh and what does "leaving a mark" mean anyway? If I even lightly slap my own hand it goes red for a few minutes. Is that supposed to be lasting harm? Perhaps parnets will resort to hair pulling and chinese burns as punishment, after all, they aren't "smacks".......

and another said
The main problem with this law is that it will not protect children. The type of people who genuinely abuse children by beating them will continue to get away with it, but parents who occasionally give a smacking to stop kids sticking their fingers in plug sockets will be penalised.


i agree with all points raised.

[goosegirl]

FF,

Yes a lot of abusers are related. It's difficult to see young kids being smacked and crying and screaming because of it. But it's difficult to judge if you have not seen the childs behaviour before they got smacked.

I wonder how the ban will work, abusers will take the abuse inside away from prying eyes, busy bodys wanting to cause aggro will shout abuse and well meaning people will.

GG.

[River daughter]

This is such a difficult subject.

It is fair to say that children should have the same
protection against 'assault' that adults have.

But just how do you define assault ?

Mind games can be experienced as an assault.
Verbal abuse can be, too --- usually is, as many of us know!
Locking a child in a is cupboard certainly an assault.
Mocking a child will make him/her feel assaulted.

Whereas a quick, light smack may just bring
a child 'into the moment'.

I really do not feel I have the right to make judgements on others'
ways of parenting, so I can only speak for myself -

I think and feel that there are other ways of
handling difficult situations with children.
I know that on the occasions that I resorted to a smack,
I felt sad that I hadn't had the resources to respond in a more
thoughtful, respectful and imaginative way.

RD