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24-02-04, 08:53 PM
In Honour of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the
only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." and that
would be how???...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but,
it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside
down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????..)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On a bottle of Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness" (and...I'm
taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...it may have lost something in the translation...)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
(he was expecting ??)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(The Pilot has these type of instructions ?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?....Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the
only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." and that
would be how???...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but,
it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside
down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????..)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On a bottle of Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness" (and...I'm
taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...it may have lost something in the translation...)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
(he was expecting ??)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(The Pilot has these type of instructions ?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?....Raise your hand if you've tried this...)