Can't cope with this person at work...

[Olivia]

Okay here goes...i'll have to be carefull as it's quite specific and whilst i very much doubt this individual is on this forum, you never know :mellow:!

I have written about this individual once before under the heading of 'the slug'...however i am now at a point where i can't even bear to be in the same room as them, the sound of their voice gets my heckles up and makes my skin crawl and i guess i'm looking for some advice on how to deal with this as well as opinions on wheteher i'm being over sensitive and if i'm not, how i should move forward professionally and personally with the situation :unsure:.

I have been in my current position for nearly 2 years, i have over 10 years experience in working in my field as well as relevant degree level qualifications and extensive work based training and learning. I am 34 years old. The person i have issues with is 57. At my place of work there are a group of people who have been there since the year dot, they do not like change, new staff, they have their own seats in the staff room, they know everything about everything, they are the best at their jobs (in their heads) and anyone younger or newer than them knows nothing. Most of these people are bearable on a personal level so i get past their ridiculousness at work. However there is one who i have real issues with.

Quite frankly he is the lazyiest, rudest, most obnoxious, big-headed, i could go on...person i have ever worked with. He is always off sick then moans when he goes through sickness monitorig that he's being discriminated against because he has a medical condition...this susposed condition is due to lifestyle choices, he could change it but chooses not too. When i first started he tried to 'father' me, tell me who i could and couldn't, should and shouldn't talk too, he tried to delve into my personal life, he even admitted to psycho-analysing me!! He would wait for me in the staff room to get a lift home, he asked me out for meals, bad mouthed people i had made friends with, went to management on my behalf over issues i didn't have...he was suffocating me, i couldn't breathe without him knowing about it or asking about it.

He is also a bully, both with staff and the vulnerable people we work with, he portrays himeslf as a 'caring' and likeable man who would do anything for anyone, he likes to think he's approachable and the saviour of our work place. He is not well liked, about 90% of the staff dislike him. He is one of the worst types of bully though, he's manipulative and does it subtly. For example, when a new young member of staff, female, joined last year, he would question, publicly things she said, decisions she made, he would go against decisions she made, aggresively challenge her infront of others, he would talk her down, criticise her openly, not do things he had been asked to do regularly, all because 'he'd been there long enough to know better than anyone else'. She nearly had a breakdown because of it and her career was nearly ruined. This is just one of many examples.

Anyway, i got to the point with him where he constantly over stepped the mark, inappropriate comments, touching my arm, aggressiveness towards the vulnerable people we work with and his out and out lazyness. I distanced myself from him and luckily haven't had to spend too much time in his direct company, until last week...

We had a run in because i challenged him over the aggressive manner he spoke to a client with, he raised his voice and was very very rude, he was the same with me. I removed the client from the situation and later spoke to him about it. He became aggressive again, waving his finger in my face, shouting etc... He then said that our issues went 'deeper' and that i had a big problem with him. I really had to stop myself from saying that he disgusts me, makes my skin crawl and his aggressive nature concerns me greatly. I ended up saying that personally and professionally we had nothing in common and that unless it was a work related matter i had nothing to say to him. I left it at that.

I was later told by a manager that i should have reported it straight away as well as filled incident forms for myself and the client, i s'pose i should have done but my main concern was for the vulnerable client, not myself.

Anyway, if you've got this far, what would you do about this man? Ignore him, challenge him, speak to management...i'm stuck, all i know is that i can't stand him and if i ever have to work closely with him i would seriously consider leaving than have to spend any time with him :wacko:.

Thanks for reading!!

[Isis]

Join the club Olivia I have one here as well, and lets just say there has been on more than one occasion "sware particles" flying round, mainly from my side I hasten to add :blush: I have even got soooo frustrated that went to the ladies and punched the walls. :angry:

[Crezz1]

Hi olivia

If this was me and i dealing we people in your situation and he is aggressive, a bully not only to your CLIENTS but work mates, I sooo would have to report this to management. im reading between the lines that important decision have to be made between ur CLIENTS on their health, personel nature etc, how is his man being objective???? is he leading these people into doing things he thinks is best,


i think management need to beware and then keep a diary and report each week.

[pmt]

Hi Olivia,

I'm sorry this person is still up to his antics,It is not a nice working environment ,Is there anyone who will back you up if you did make a complaint about this individual?,

You are going to have to tread careful on this one, as you might be made scapegoat,made out a troublemaker,It's a very difficut situation,Would the management back you up?,Are they aware of the problems with this person?do you know if complaints have been made about this person before?
Can you talk to someone in management off the record about what would happen and the procedure about making a complaint?,

And if your complaint came to nothing could you still work with him ?,because I think he would really make your life h*ll
Then again can you carry on as you are?

you have to think very careful and do what you think is right,but put yourself first because no one else will,

Take care hugs x

[Olivia]

Crezz, he has been complained about before but always wormed his way out of it...our 'clients' are mostly not capable of making decisions for themselves so instead of working proactively with them to encourage them to make personal and social choices, he does what he wants to do and in effect s*d the people he should be there for. For example, if a client wanted to learn how to create a word document and he had been charged with the task...he'll disappear, then he'll be doing 'other jobs', then he'll say he has to do something else (usually check his personal email or ebay)...if a 'client' needs help with their lunch, he'll take an extended lunch of his own so as to get out of helping someone else, i know it sounds pathetic but it's so annoying, i don't know why he's in the job, well i do, it's because he gets away with murder and will continue to do so until the system that 'protects' him gets its @rse into gear!! So he either leads them into doing something HE'D rather do or they don't get to do something they want to do because HE doesn't want to and makes excuses or disappears, if that makes sense! I believe there is a case growing against him but in my profession it can take up to 2 years and then there's a whole load of other red tape to go through.

He loses his temper and becomes aggressive when he is challenged, particularly by women, over sometthing he has said or done...he's aggressive with the clients when he can't deal with either their behaviour or they annoy him, it's then he turns nasty. I think he's particularly nasty with me because in his head i rejected him and i out-rank him ten-fold, i mean honestly, i'm no supermodel but how could he honestly think he stood any kind of chance, plus i was in a relationship! It disgusts me, it really does.

Isis, i know the feeling, last summer i actually went into the ladies and screamed!!

Pmt, i hear what you're saying, i wonder though if anything 'off the record' is ever really off the record. I did speak to my last manager a couple of times last year about this person, he is well known for his outbursts and antics. I think i'm at the stage now where i will have to say something, particularly as i've now witnessed first hand how he can be, it's kinda different seeing it first hand than listening to the stories about him that other people have told.x

A 'double post' has been made by the same author, within 24 hours on this NFHiB thread (e.g. where the last poster has replied again with another message before any other member). This has been automatically merged with the author's previous post, for ease of reading.

...oh and pmt, yes there are lots of people who would back me up, he is not well liked at all and a lot of people have issues with him professional, it's just unfortunate that HE made my issues with him personal, not just professional.

[Isis]

Olivia do we work for the same bloke, cause mine is the same as well the only difference is mine is a workaholic.

We have certain ways that the firm likes stuff done and everyone should do it, his retort is "If it is not done my way, then its wrong" and no nobody says anything, expect the problem is that his way changes from day to day. Take addressing a label everyone knows that the last line it ALWAYS the postcode, oh no not him it has to be Attn: which should of course go at the top we even showed him the Post Office website where it states that the last line of the address should be the postcode, he compeltely ignored it and went off with the huff.

[Olivia]

They sound very similar Isis, his line is, 'i've been here 14 years, this is how i've always done it and nobody is going to tell me any different'...it's like he thinks the place would fall apart without him and his 'expertise' when in all reality, he has zero expertise, virtually no knowledge and seems to get by through doing very little and talking sh!t!!! I guess a lot of work places have a person or people like this :-(

[Isis]

Well I have decided that mine is arrogant, so arrogant its unbelievable. Nasty piece of work mine is.