vanner
27-01-04, 09:29 PM
You Know You've Reached Middle Age When..............
* You and your teeth don't sleep together.
* It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
* When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there
* Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
* Now that you can finally afford front-row seats at a rock concert, you can't imagine why anyone would want to be there.
* You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
* A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable bladder urge
* You remember where you were when President Kennedy was shot, but you can't remember where you put the car keys last night.
* You stopped worrying about hair loss and started worrying about memory loss.
* You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
* You learn where your prostrate is.
* You own more electrical appliances than there are electrical sockets in your home.
* You've named your glasses by the activity they permit you to do.
* You don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go with her.
* You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
* Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, and Peter, Paul & Mary don't look that old to you.
* Your partner says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "I can't do both!"
* It takes longer to rest than to get tired.
* When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
* "Getting a little action" means not having to take any fibre today.
* An "all nighter" means not getting up to to go to the Loo!
* Conversations with people your own age often turn into "duelling ailments".
* Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that get's you home earlier
* when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
* Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
* You sing along with the elevator music.
* You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
* Your ears have more hair than your head.
* You find yourself smiling at this list. :P
* You and your teeth don't sleep together.
* It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
* When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there
* Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
* Now that you can finally afford front-row seats at a rock concert, you can't imagine why anyone would want to be there.
* You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
* A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable bladder urge
* You remember where you were when President Kennedy was shot, but you can't remember where you put the car keys last night.
* You stopped worrying about hair loss and started worrying about memory loss.
* You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
* You learn where your prostrate is.
* You own more electrical appliances than there are electrical sockets in your home.
* You've named your glasses by the activity they permit you to do.
* You don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go with her.
* You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
* Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, and Peter, Paul & Mary don't look that old to you.
* Your partner says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "I can't do both!"
* It takes longer to rest than to get tired.
* When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
* "Getting a little action" means not having to take any fibre today.
* An "all nighter" means not getting up to to go to the Loo!
* Conversations with people your own age often turn into "duelling ailments".
* Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that get's you home earlier
* when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
* Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
* You sing along with the elevator music.
* You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
* Your ears have more hair than your head.
* You find yourself smiling at this list. :P