View Full Version : Hard Days Work
Hi Everyone,
Having problems at work and am at a complete loss as to what to do, feeling depressed and would appreciate any advice or shared experiences.
I ve been in my present job just less than a year and really enjoyed it untill we had a change of manager. The old one was the "firm but fair" sort and everyone was happy.
The new one lacks experience and IMO often handles things badly, tending to brush things under the carpet rather than sort them out, so problems escalate and get out of hand, then failing to deal with them in a constructive way- within a few months my department (I m in charge of a small team, who I m often undermined in front of by this person- have been laughed at while while doing a "team talk" on one occasion, told to shut up on another:unsure:) has turned into a school yard, full of petty disputes, arguments and tale telling.
I find myself in impossible situations- a recent example was being told to delegate certain tasks to others and concentrate my energies elsewhere. When I did, I had a complaint made against me for "asking other people to do tasks I could do myself". Did I get any backup? No, and when I raised the point, was basically told to get over it!:banghead:
I have ended up so stressed recently that I have had to go on sick leave- I know that a lot of others who also have this person as a manager have had similar problems, so its not just a personality clash. What would you do? Caro
sorry things are not always good for you at work :(
I always think that work is a big part of our lives, and you you are not happy where you are it might be time to look for something else, I know the job market is not great at present :( but it never hurts to look around ;)
and its certainly not worth work or people you work with making you poorly :no:
it sounds like you certainly have the knowledge and experiance :yes:
Planet 24
14-01-09, 04:01 PM
Not good to be undermined or undervalued :no: and I think this is what is happening.
Maybe you could have a chat with your manager and let them see how you feel about things. If they are inexperienced then they may not be aware of how hurt your feelings are.
It wont do any harm to put your cards on the table and in the meantime - look around for something else and keep your ear to the ground just in case. That way at least you will have some sort of plan if they dont listen to you or address your needs. Other than that - is it worth going to HR over this?
Do they have a good track record of listening to their employees?
Annabel
14-01-09, 04:23 PM
the new manager is the problem though isnt that correct? you firstly need to make sure you are doing everything right yourself. if you cant approach the manager because they are the problem i would go above them. make sure have collected some evidence of problems that have arisen since they took charge otherwise it may sound like you are just whingeing and have, like you say, a personality clash.
are you able to talk to your team on a one on one basis to see how they are feeling, will they back up what you are saying or are they causing trouble as well?
Thankyou all for your advice and support,
I have spoken to HR, but the woman in charge of the department is a good friend of my manager so, although I was very diplomatic (I think!) I didn t get very far :dry:. It s that sort of a place really, lots of office politics.
At the minute there is no one in my team I can really talk to- the longest serving staff member is the managers pet- (the bringer of the complaint I mentioned in my OP!) there are a few new staff members, who I haven t got to know yet, but for the most part we run on agency temps. The last three members of staff left because one thought the new manager was a "stupid b!!!!":o, the next said the new managers "attitude stank" and the last felt the manager misled them as to the nature of the job.
When I first started, I could not have been happier, it was a brilliant job and I loved it, but that is a distant memory :(. I don t really know how much senior management are aware of in all this. I know complaints have been made by others, but they don t seem to stick. Someone else who was managed by the same person (but different dept, similar probs though), once described them as the senior bosses "little run around", because of the way they "suck up"to the boss :rolleyes:. It may be worth a try having a word, it can t make it any worse really can it? It can t go on as it is. Caro x
Annabel
14-01-09, 07:30 PM
not it definitely cant caroh, you poor thing.
i think the fact that you run on agency temps is all the more reason to have a manager who is very good at handling people, because if you dont have a permanent team you need someone in charge who can pull people together , not push them apart.
dont worry too much about who is friends with who - sometimes things arent what they seem. when it comes to the crunch most people will look out for themselves in the workplace.
just make sure you make your complaints in the correct manner, follow the laid down procedures that way your butt is covered. and gather evidence as well, in writing where possible.
there is no point in being unhappy in your job but not saying anything about it, as long as you can make your points in a constructive fashion and dont come over as attacking and personal, any decent employer should hear you out.
even if they dont take action immediately they will eventually. i have had to remember this myself when dealing with a s**t a***manager once. he was useless and in charge of a team of 6 of us, we kept complaining, eventually he went too far with his stinky attitude and was demoted !!! i still smile when i think about that, yay!!!
stay strong me duck! and make sure you have another job lined up before you hand your notice in:lol:
Hi Caroh, I am sorry that you are not enjoying your work any more. I can sort of relate to the feelings you have. My job changed beyond recognition and I went from liking it to loathing and detesting it overnight, esp when they promoted a real imcompetent to be a manager :frown: .
In the space of a few months, our whole team disintegrated with people taking early retirement, moving jobs or going off sick. Within a year, there was no member of my team left - me included.
I think that life is too short to be so unhappy in work. If you feel you can't take your grievances anywhere in your organisation because personnel is 'in' with the person you are unhappy with, then I would vote with my feet and look elsewhere.
I know it's hard as you are pining for the job you once had...But is it realistically going to go back to the way it was? Do you think that your new manager will stick around or do you think you could 'tough' it out and bide your time until they leave or get 'moved' ..?
I half think that someone as utterly useless and horrid as you describe will eventually dig themselves a hole and be revealed as an incompetent and you will be sitting pretty watching it all unravel.
So it's really a question of how much more you can tolerate, but in the meantime it really would not hurt to sniff about for something else. :)
Good luck and remember, if you need to vent, come and post here as we are always here for you!
Thanks everyone, in a slightly more positive mood today.
Have arranged a meeting, and will just play it by ear. My sister works in a managerial position and is going to help me set out the points I need to raise.
I don t think it will ever go back to the way it was, and you re right I m pining for "the good old days". I was in a lower position before and I don t think I would have taken the promotion if I had of known how things were going to change. All thats happening now is that my confidence is being knocked- I m already finding myself questioning my own capabilities, which won t help if I do end up moving on:unsure:.
I spoke to a former colleague the other day, and apart from all the other problems, she was really affected by what is seen as "banter" at this place- the frequent crude jokes/ chat up lines and foul language. I think I ve just accepted it as part of the culture, but it is another issue that many people would find unacceptable, and of course personal comments do cause hurt:sad:. She is certainly very glad she left.........I ll keep you posted! Caro x
Hi everyone,
Well, I had my meeting, with my manager and their superior. As Annabel said I kept my points factual and non- confrontational and tried to offer possible solutions to the obvious problems. My manager was constantly interupting me and being really defensive- I imagine she was dreading what I was going to say. It was yet again like being in the playground- every comment I made seemed to be overtaken with "oh, this is because..." and "are you saying I undermine you?" I made sure I didn t rise to it and just thought she was digging herself into a hole, bringing up herself the things she obviously didn t want bringing up and twisting the facts.
The senior manager came across as being really impatient and clearly didn t want to be there. In the end nothing I had said was even acknowledged. The problem was being seen as me having taken time off due to stress, and the solution was to change my job! Apparently the person who stepped into my role when I was off was so great that they are to be left doing my job (which I am trained to do, experienced at and enjoy), and I m to basically "float" and back up the unskilled workers as needed. I couldn t get across that my role is not the problem-its the ******** management!!
I went to my GP, he was gobsmacked at the treatment I had received,and simply said "Well, you can t go back to that!" So I m now at home on anti deppressants, gradually starting to feel a bit better. Thankyou all for your support and advice, Caro x
Hiya Caroh:D
Sorry to hear that you are still experiencing these problems:( but glad to hear you are on the mend could you not move to a different company, hard I know in these times, but if you have the skill and experience, people could be crying out for you, you never know.
Take care
Annabel
19-02-09, 02:17 PM
I dont like this at all caroh, sounds to me like they are trying to manipulate you into resigning, by making your life awkward, be very careful lovey.
Bonkers Mad!!!
19-02-09, 02:19 PM
I dont like this at all caroh, sounds to me like they are trying to manipulate you into resigning, by making your life awkward, be very careful lovey.
i agree. i've been the victim of these sort of underhand tactics. as Annabel says, be very careful.
Hi caroh,
Im really angry for you the way you have been treated is unfair,i hope the anti deppressants help and you are feeling better very soon.
Take care :)
Thanks everyone, for the support,
At the moment there is no change- I am waiting to see what they do next- they have not been in contact since "the meeting", not to acknowledge sick notes or to ask how I am!
I m also looking round for other jobs, I think its the best thing to do. Now that I m out of the place the thought of going back makes me feel physically sick. The anti deppressants are helping a lot, although I m having disturbed sleep- feel tired a lot of the time, but can t sleep and wake up and can t drop off again- living next door to the screamers dosen t help!!
I ll keep you posted, Caro x
they are proberbly not contacting you while you are off sick to cover themselves, if you have a sick note from a GP and they ring you you could accuse them of harrassment, not that you would but they are scared you might ;)
You defianlty need to find something new :yes: no good being in a place that makes you feel poorly even thinkingabout it :friends: dont blame you one bit
I went through something similar a few years ago, ended up poorly and stressed, I fought and fought and in the end the union guy asked me why I was fighting as even though it was wrong what they were doing, I wasnt going to win, so I took a redployment and I can honestly say that 3 years later it was one of the best moves I ever made :yes:
even though I really really didnt want to go to where I ended up, looking back it couldnt have worked out better, and ironically the managers that bullied me out have both been redeployed themselves ;) Karma I believ is the word :lol:
so you take care, dont stress over it and dont even think of them for a while and just get back on to your normal self :flowers2:
Hi Caroh, I agree with everything Beth said :) .
I am so angry for you that you are being treated so badly...I'd say that your employer is actually treading on shakey ground if they have said to you that the person that covered your job did it better than you (or however they phrased it) . If you leave your job, you could very well sue them for constructive dismissal as they would have effectively bullied you out of a job and made you ill.
So keep one eye out for something like that and the other eye in the job vacancies pages.
I ended up on long term sick leave and couldn't bear the thought of ever going back to my job too so I know how you feel. Your employer needs to help you 'back' into work and discuss it with you before you go back so also bear that in mind too. If they don't do that and you go off sick again, it would make your case for constructive dismissal a bit stronger. I'm no expert by the way, so I would start looking for advice - maybe CAB or something?
Good luck, hope you can get some decent sleep soon :clover: .
Thanks Beth and Mazza,
I will make an appointment to see someone at the CAB.
During the meeting, when I directly asked for support, and stated the areas where I felt I needed it, I was told I was just looking for the negatives. I was also told to "smile" more- not a very helpfull thing to say to someone with depression!!
:o Gosh that's blimmin shocking! They sound really nasty, stand your ground and don't be bullied. I'd definitely be looking for advice about it if I were you :( .
Bonkers Mad!!!
20-03-09, 11:46 AM
they really do sound like a nasty bunch. definitely get some advice from the CAB :yes:
Caroh if all else fails, go to an employment solicitor, it will cost, but had to do that once :o and I work for solicitors as well.
I think it is worth persuing, not just for myself- there are a lot of people there who aren t happy and who ve been treated badly. Staff turn over is really high and people just seem to accept the "if you don t like it- leave" attitude. You re considered to have been there a long time if you manage six months!
If you have been there fo 2 years, I think,:unsure: then you do have a lot of rights, I phoned CAB for advice first and they gve me a list of solicitors that I could go to who dealt with my particular problem e.g redundancy. I think it cost me about £190 inclusive of a letter and about 3/4 f an hour actually speaking to the lawyer.
Well, finally got to speak to CAB. To go to tribunal you need to have exhausted your companies grievance proceedures and to have had at least 12 months continuous service. I have technically had 3 different positions since I started, so if the start date of the new position is seperated by a few days from the end of the previous one, it can be argued that its not continuous service :rolleyes:.
I went to the job centre to see if I could get any advice there (really nice, friendly staff). Mentioned the name of the company and... *exchange of knowing looks between staff* " Oh yes, we hear an awfull lot about them..." :eek:
Search for new job continues.