Mistyeyeddreamer
30-08-03, 08:46 PM
I hope I've not posted these before, but they gave me a giggle anyway :)
Why we love Kids
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and
waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I
heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't
wearing a seat belt!"
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My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me
he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and
threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment,
then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it
up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one
out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
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On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a
note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by
this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
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A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the
jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old
daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child
said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone
to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
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POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of
the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog
you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled,
the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally
he said, "What'd he do?"
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ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances
of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One
day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a
glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions,
she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never
believe this!"
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DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she
saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't
wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always
gives you a headache the next morning."
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SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
write and they won't let me talk!"
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Why we love Kids
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and
waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I
heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't
wearing a seat belt!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
-------
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me
he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and
threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment,
then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it
up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one
out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
-------
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a
note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by
this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
-------
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the
jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old
daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child
said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone
to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
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-----
POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of
the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog
you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled,
the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally
he said, "What'd he do?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
-------
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances
of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One
day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a
glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions,
she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never
believe this!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
-------
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she
saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't
wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always
gives you a headache the next morning."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
-------
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
write and they won't let me talk!"
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