View Full Version : Break ups
Miss Understood
26-07-06, 07:53 PM
Some of you may remember that at Easter time I gave the tale of my sister suddenly breaking up with her bloke of several years to renew her relationship with an old flame (we know call them Charles and Camilla!) and how I felt sad that I wouldn't see her old bloke again.
Well, my son tells me when I get in from work this evening that my daughter's split up with her bloke of 5 years (apparently she did the splitting bit but isn't home to tell me all about it). He has been round our house half the week for the last four years. He's become quite a family member.
If my daughter's done the splitting up bit, she must have her reasons but I feel really bereft because I won't see him again and am having a little weep here.
Is that daft or what?
I know exactly what you all mean, my oldest son recently broke up with his first girlfriend after being with her for a year, she almost became part of the family calling us mum & dad, it really does feel like a kick in the guts when they're not going to be around any more.
I had one the same ! Although he never did the dirty or anything on me - he just couldn't keep up with me really :lol:
I was so relieved when he met a nice girl and stopped visiting my mother quite so often, but he was the first to come and see me when she died. I see him more like a brother I never had in a strange kind of way - we were only about 18 after all, and I never did have a brother, or him a sister. When he had a terrible scare with his youngest's health, I was the one he turned to, but I had to convince him it should be his wife he turned to, although she was a wreck - I think it brought them a bit closer and we both moved on then but I do still see him out with his kids occasionally.
You can get attached to people for who they are, their position isn't important - until it changes and then it's very hard to find the balance. It doesn't mean you like them any less (unless they've been rotten of course) so it IS hard - it's like saying goodbye to someone forever - as in sp54's current topic..... :cry:
Oh, now the tears have started again :cry: :crybaby: :honk:
I know exactly what you mean, MU :cry: . I am currently an emotional wreck too after saying goodbye to a very dear friend. Like you I feel genuinely bereft and I know from previous experiences I will be feeling like this for a few months too, just like in a real bereavement. :cry:
As for our kids girl/boyfriends I too get attached to them - you just can't help it, can you? Our eldest son is 25 and had been with his girl since they were 17 and still at school. They split up in May, and it was so hard :cry: It was even harder when she wrote a lovely letter to me & mrsp, and one to minisp a few days later which was a real tearjerker. :honk: :cry_more:
Son no. 2 is 22 and has had several girlfriends :rolleyes: but 2 of them have lasted 2 years each and I was so fond of those girls it still hurts me now. One of them was definitely perfect 'daughter in law' material and if I bump into her in the street she is all hugs and kisses to me still. Sweet girl, and I miss her soooooo much.
Mini sp54 is with her first boyfriend, but they have been together 2 years in August. Being a daughter, I was always one of the 'shoot the first boyfriend, then the rest get the message' school of Mothers :lol: but when I met him I just couldn't help but like him. Like the girlfriends, he is now regarded as part of our family, and although they are both so young to stay with one person forever, it can work out, and they make such a sweet couple. :wub: I would be heartbroken if ever they split up. I would have hand picked him myself for minisp, so he must be good!!
I have vowed to not get attached to the next girls my sons bring home, but being the way I am, it is hard as I get attached to nice people easily, and it would be going against what is the real sloppy, sentimental, caring 'me'.
And remember of course, you never know which one is going to be 'the' one, and might have a hand in choosing our nursing homes someday :lol: :wow:
As everyone here has been saying to me this week, pain is the price you pay for love. :cry: and I do feel for you right now, MU :cry_more: :friends: really, really I do :flowers2: I still haven't stopped crying yet :crybaby:
Take care, and lots of cyberhugs
sp xx
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(sidandnancy @ 26th July 2006 - 8:19 PM) 183552</div>
i can remember the boot was on the other foot for me. i spilt up with a boyfriend who got on sooo well with my mother that he used to continue to visit her (and hope i would be home as well ) it got really embarrassing and for a few weeks i used to check if his car was about before i went home!!!!!
some times i had to stay out for hours!!!! what my mother DIDNT know was that he was cheating on me so i finished it . he was sooo sorry but that was it for me. i didnt really want to tell my mum but it was very tricky
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I just found out quite sneakily that my son's ex was actually doing the dirty on him with 3 others AT THE SAME TIME! I can't quite get my head round it :badmood: