Military etiquette

[Miss Understood]

Don't know if this is the right place to put this question but, as it's professionally related, here goes.

I will be speaking to a civilian and a Major at an Army base in the next couple of days. I want to impress them both. I know I can call the civilian by his first name in this circumstance, once we're introduced.

But, what do I call the Major? I know his first name, but do I use that or do I just continually refer to him as 'Major' or even Sir?

Anyone clued up in etiquette out there that can advise?

[Lady Penelope]

:) Have a lookie here (http://www.deskdemon.com/pages/uk/events/formsofaddress)MU :thumbs:

;) LPxxx

[Miss Understood]

Thanks for the link LP, but I'm probably being really dumb blonde here, I can't work out from that link what I, as a civvie myself, refer to a Major as.

I think it's 'Major' or 'Sir'

But I'd hate to get it wrong!!!!

[Lady Penelope]

:lol: I call those 'blonde moments' MU

No just call him Major though if he is a Sarg.Major then you would address him as sir :blink:
I think that is correct, I might need to lie down for a think!!!

LPxxx

[Miss Understood]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Lady Penelope @ 21st March 2006 - 11:32 PM) 156903</div>
I might need to lie down for a think!!!
[/b]

I think I need to have a really long lie down just to get my head round the idea of it all.


And, if he's in Uniform, then I'm totally done for - I'll be stuttering and drooling everywhere!

;)

[Miss Understood]

Seems you're right LP. I emailed a sister in law last night who spends a lot of time with military types. This is her reply:

A major is not all that senior. If he's a young major (in his 30s) he'll be on his way up, or he may be older and is stuck in this rank. In either case you can't go wrong addressing him as Major. You certainly don't need to call him Sir. Civilians can get away with alot but I generally only say Sir to the military if they are Brigadier or above. In that case you say Brigadier or General the first time you say their name and thereafter Sir. Exactly the same rules as for Royalty

So in your case I would say "Good morning Major Smith" or whatever (not Major John Smith - even if he says "Hello I am Major John Smith) and then just say Major. He or she may say called me John!

So it's just Major.

[Meercat]

All matters of etiquette boils down to 'consideration for others'.

The situation could (and maybe should?) develop along the lines of addressing him as Major on first meeting, or if introduced, you address somebody in the same manner as they were introduced to you. If you were introduced to 'Brigadier General Hawthorne', you would likewise introduce others to him as Brigadier General Hawthrone. If you were in general conversation with him, you would address him as 'Brigadier General' (dropping the surname). They will take it upon themselves to say 'Oh, please call me John'.

More important though, is who you introduce to whom. Always introduce senior to lower rank and elder to younger.

Eg. If you were introducing the Queen to a Civil servant - blunder of all blunders would be 'Councillor Smith, I'd like you to meet Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second'. It would be 'Your Majesty, may I introduce Councillor Smith?'.

Like wise age *can* overrule rank.

If you had a 100 year old lady guest of no title and you were introducing her to a Major of 50 years of age, you would say to the lady 'Mrs. Penderson, allow me to introduce Major Pilkington' - and not the other way round. Age commands higher respect (often!!).

The question of 'Sir' is thorny. Prince Charles is called 'Sir' - and so am I. Neither of us have been knighted. So, why? Likewise, I get letters from my bank with the initials Esq. on the end of my name. I am not a Squire. It most probably dooesn't offend any man to be called 'Sir', but thinking about it, it's very much a throw away title. In a formal conversation, Sir should be reserved for those with the formal title of Sir. Like Sir Richard (Branson!!).

People of high rank (and age!!!) forgive the majority of minor mistakes. They do however, look for some important signals such as, when shaking hands, does the person look them in the face or stare at the ground? Do they stand with their back to them or perhaps scowl (without knowing it!!)? Gentlemen with hands in pockets? In coversation - butting in. Using hands to talk 'too much'. Pointing!!!!

Consideration is all it takes. If you'd like to be addressed or spoken to in the *way* you're doing it - then you're probably doing fine by the other person.

[Lady Penelope]

:) Very well said Meercat!! :notworthy:

LPxxx ;)